Japanese Snack Food Review: Hot-Kid Honey Ball Cookies

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Again, I dork out with the little kid food and check it out:

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It’s the most nutritious snack for children. Why, giving this to your children will make them lift weights or take up hippy karate (don’t deny that the karate dude isn’t giving us the peace out sign with both hands) or even trepidatiously tossing a ball off camera. Whatever your child does after nutritiously eating Honey Ball Cookies, he or she will also transform into the Hawaiian punch guy. Hey, I’m just going by the packaging here.

Speaking of nutritious, because this IS the most nutritious snack for creepy looking children, let’s go take a look at these most nutritious ingredients.

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Yup, that’s nutrition alright. One and two are starch and sugar, which kids don’t really get enough of over the course of the day. Oh and there are eggs and milk too and that gives your child a nutritious 0.84 grams of protein and 3% of their daily calcium. Compared to the Hostess Zinger where you get 1 gram of protein, and 220 mg of calcium (can’t find the %RDA for that, sorry) and a whole one more carbohydrate. Those nasty, nasty, unhealthy Zingers with their 27 total grams of carbohydrates. Why these Honey Ball Cookies only have 26 grams of carbohydrates. Nutritious!

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The picto version of the ingredients for your amusement.

I feel sorry for any kids who have to eat these most nutritious snacks because they taste like ASS. They are small and fun sized and have a lovely, light airy crunch but man. Urg. There is a chemical nasty of something going on in there. I can’t even pinpoint what flavor of the five ingredients is trying to represent itself as the nutritious taste from the lab room floor but something is way off in these. Maybe if you curdled your milk, added rancid honey and a slightly gooshy potato and then tried to synthesize that flavor you might come up with the nutritious taste portrayed here.

There is also an unpleasant dustiness to these Honey Ball cookies that really doesn’t go away. You would think the initial dusty of whatever they coat these things in (nutrition?) would dissolve and go away once you have them in your mouth and it sort of does. However, it is replaced by the dustiness of the Ball Cookie once you chew it down to little cookie bits in your mouth. It has an unpleasant initial dusty and an after dusty and yuck all around.

The only good thing this has going for it is the cute ball shape and the nice crunch but that’s only going to get Honey Ball Cookies a

Rating

of 0.5 Wasabi Pea out of a possible 5.

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