Could It Be The North Wind They’d Been Feeling

Snow? What? But…SNOW?!??!

Alas, I spoke too soon it seems, there be snow in these here hills. Snow! I mean…SNOW! It stuck too and that’s just not right. Not right at all, I want a recount! Fortunately, it wasn’t a big sticking snow where it was piling on the sidewalks and all, more a ‘snow gathering in the grass and a light dusting on the sidewalks’ thing. Doesn’t the weather read the weathering contracts? It’s not supposed to snow and stick on the ground in any form before December, let alone more than a week before Thanksgiving! Gah!

Mmmm, Thanksgiving, which makes me think of food and sadly, my cooking disaster of biblical proportions last night. Joy of cooking? On my shit list. Big time. I pulled Joy out because Betty does not have a squash bread recipe (although Betty has a carrot bread recipe that has a zucchini alternate paragraph which I then modify for squash. Complicated but…) and I was reasonably sure Joy would have a recipe for Pumpkin Bread. It does, but I keep forgetting what a PAIN IN THE ASS Joy is to work with when you know how to do what you are doing. Never made a quick bread before? Well, OK then. Pull out Joy and have at it, but I can tell you from many successful experiences that you can combine all the wet ingredients, then float all the dry ingredients on top of the wet ingredients, mix them and then mix the whole kit and caboodle together and the bread will turn out fine. I do this all the time and I remembered (too late) why I like Betty for this recipe.

Betty tells you up front: These are all the ingredients you will need. Right here. In a list. Now I’m going to tell you what to do with them in a paragraph blurbit or two. K? K! Let’s go! Joy? Wellllll, Joy pats you on the head, sits you down and tells you that these three ingredients are going the be the first ingredients we will be working with. OK? Do you have them? Then measure them out and mix them together. Done? Goooood. Now add this next ingredient. Careful there…do you have it? You do? Goooood! Now, get this next ingredient and put it in. Be sure to mix everything well, we can’t have lumps at this point. Now, grab the remaining three ingredients, mix them together and add them to the other ones.

Basically, I threw in the first seven ingredients and then remembered we were out of eggs. Then I thought to myself, “Wait, doesn’t this bread usually have eggs? I don’t remember them in the ingredients” and proceeded to try and weed through the blah blah blah until I found where they had put the egg information. It’s about two paragraphs below the first seven ingredients. Then, as I was mixing everything together it occurred to me that I hadn’t yet added the squash and I really ought to, being squash bread and all. Ought to, but darned if I could find the “Add X amount of squash” line. That was buried almost at the end of the instructions. I mixed, I poured I baked, I totally missed the line that said 1 1/2 cups sugar; granulated or firmly packed brown sugar. It was at the tail end of a paragraph (by itself, I might add so nowhere near the eggs or squash which I had to go hunting for) and really, who lists an ingredient WITH the instructions on how to handle the ingredient at the end of a paragraph? THAT’S HOW PEOPLE MISS THE SUGAR!!!

So two loaves of inedible squash bread will go feed the landfill this coming trash day. Grrrr.

Then I decided to bake a ready made Boston Cream Pie box mix since the squash bread came out so famously. I mixed, I measured…as much as you really have to in those box kits and I baked. Mmmm, cake. I even followed the directions for letting it cool in the pan and then on the rack, except it didn’t come out of the pan when I flipped it over. It didn’t even come out of the pan when I ran a knife along the edges. It did come out of the pan when I gave it a tap on the upturned bottom. Mostly. Then it settled on the rack, or the half that came out of the pan, and promptly broke in half again on the rack. Grrr. I made up the rest of the kit anyway and we had Boston Cream Disaster Parfait. Tasty, but not terribly presentable. I then left the kitchen, figuring that my luck was just not going to get any better. Oi!

I’m going to pick up some more squash this weekend and have another go at it, this time with my friend Betty. Stay tuned, I might even take pics!


Last year at the booniverse: TheMan and I had a screaming singing fight the other day because he obviously hates the chocolate and the chocolate is stuck in my head.


Last last year at the booniverse: Snow ate my update!

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