Ox And Ass Before Him Bow

Heh. They said ‘ass’.

I am the CRAN-KAY today (it’s a work thing and WE SHALL NOT DISCUSS THE WORK THANG because that will make me even crankier. I’m hoping cranky isn’t like a black hole where if it reaches a certain mass it goes critical and starts devouring everything in sight) and I don’t want to post. Frikkin blog. Frikin ‘december challenge’. Frikin carols.

Yesterday we went all over creation Christmas shopping but not to The Mall. The only way you will find me in The Mall at this time of year is if a sudden tornado rips through the area and deposits me smack dabbit in the infernal hell hole of holiday insanity or I’m dead and someone has dragged my corpse into the joint. Even then I think that’s just cause to come back and reanimate my dead body and fight like the dickens to stay well away from there. Sadly, I didn’t wind up with exactly what I was looking for because apparently they don’t make exactly what I’m looking for just to spite me. Instead, I got a head full of tunes.

Mercifully, the dumb ass tune of much despisation (that’s…ahhhh…well the derivative of ‘despise’ that fits for that part of the sentence) has faded from my head (and no, I’m not going to try and think it back just to tell you what held my head hostage all last night and well into this morning). Huzzah! Sadly, it was replaced by “Away in a Manger” and then later “Let it snow”. At the moment I have the title tune bouncing about my plork and who knows what I’ll be driving myself crazy with by the end of the day. I’m discovering that merely existing in the holiday time as well as actively trying to come up with carols that don’t suck occasionally result in festive tunes that Will! Not! Leave! That’s OK for today’s lyrical entry because this was another one of those fun melodies I had forgotten about.

Ba-bip-ba-boop-ba-da-de-da!
Ba-bip-ba-boop-ba-da-de-da!
Da-de-da-ba-bip-ba-boooo.
Booo! Booo! Daa-de-daa-ba-boo-ba-bee.
Boooo-be-boooo-be-boooooo-OOOOOO!
Boooo-be-boooo-be-boooooo!

I had to go looking for the sheet music because I could only remember the ‘Booo! Booo! Daa-de-daa-ba-boo-ba-bee” part from looking at the words and I wanted to know the rest. I remembered the rest once I saw the tune all tuned out and now it’s all happily skipping about in my head. Wheeee!

So! Last night and the present bug. I was hell bent (but not The Mall hell bent) on finding this certain present so I dragged TheMan all over tarnation and back. I’m not going to say what the present was ‘cuz one of you is going to get it so let’s just perform some substitution techniques and say I was looking for a set of books. Not just any set of books, a particular set of books like The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (which none of you are getting). Usually it comes with three parts (Fellowship, Towers, King) and occasionally they throw the Hobbit in there too but I was only really looking for the three books. I was also not quite that picky about font, cover, edition, etc. but I wanted them all to match because I like the matchy. Not to unreasonable right?

Wrong! I found sets that had the Hobbit and the King, or the Fellowship and Towers, or Towers and King, or all three but two of them had the old cover and one had the new Hollywood cover and Jeebus People! What does it take to get a simple set of three books? Huh? HUH?!?? Then I went on-line and lo! Anyway I wanted them arranged they were. Why do I even go out anymore? Bah! We did find a “bookstore” that was going out of business which had signs everywhere proclaiming “Everything on sale!” They weren’t kidding. We found prices for the display cases. Endcap anyone?

We also stopped by Great Harvest Bread Company to get some delicious bread for our grilled cheese sammich dinner plans. G.H. makes the BEST breads and now they even slice them (so you can make uniform matchy grilled cheese samiches). We also noticed that the store cow mascot was missing so we asked about it because…cow! That cow’s been a fixture at that store for 14 years and every time you went into the place they had it dressed up differently. Well, OK every time WE went into the place which was about once every other month or so. Anyway, last night; no cow! Apparently the cow’s lease was up and the owners took her back. Bastards! I liked that cow. Now? No more moo. *sniff*

That cow really tied the room together.

Then we spent the rest of the night doing what we do best (no, not WoW; TheMan’s computer is still sick). Nuttin!


Last year at the booniverse: Too many holiday tunes stuffed in my plork, not enough space left over to update.


Last last year at the booniverse: Well, yesterday I took a jaunt out to some places just to test the sick waters and sure enough, two hours and four shops about put me on my butt.


The year before at the booniverse: Baking. Mmmm, cookies.

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