Tag Archives: Politics

Welcome to my handbasket!

There were picketers outside church on Sunday. Fred Phelps and his minions.

I have to admit, I was kind of glad to see the Phelpsies out there. It reminds me of a wonderful bit out of Cyrano De Bergerac:

Ah, friend of mine, believe me, I march better
‘Neath the cross-fire of glances inimical!

Fred is one of those folks whose enemies list I’m happy to be on. Because I certainly don’t want to be mistaken for one of his friends.
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Call it “Creationism Lite”

For those of you who have been under a rock for the past week or so, you might have missed Mr. Bush coming out in favor of teaching so-called “Intelligent Design” in schools.

Personally, I’m surprised he’s waited this long before taking a swipe at evolution. It’s pretty obvious that he’s in a serious state of denial about his uncanny resemblance to a chimp…
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Beat me to it

I was going to write up an annoyed post about how too much attention is being paid to the whole Grand Theft Auto hack, but Wil Wheaton beat me to it.

All I’ve got to add is that if I were to put on an obscene puppet show with the toys from a Happy Meal, I’m pretty sure that nobody in the senate would be calling for Ronald McDonald’s head on a non-biodegradable platter. Why should the folks from Rockstar Games take the heat for somebody else’s modification?


So, this whole Terri Schiavo thing… I’m worried that it’ll distract our legislators from their vitally important role in keeping this country safe from steroid-using baseball players.

A Modest Proposal

One of our expatriate southern docs stopped by the office to blow off some political steam today and he used a charming West Texas phrase that summed things up nicely:

“Don’t piss on my hat and tell me it’s raining.”

The trouble is that people haven’t tried out the practical application of that phrase lately. Bush won because his pretty lies sounded better than the rather harsh truth. We’ve got soldiers dying by the dozen in Iraq. Job growth and the economy are flat. The national debt is in the trillions and growing. And Bush keeps saying that if we let him keep doing what he’s been doing, everything is going to turn out all right. Unfortunately, nobody pointed out that we’ve all been pissed on for four years, and our hats are pretty much soaked through.
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Well, with Kerry having conceded, I guess it’s time to take a look at what we’ve been stuck with and work on a national motto for the next four years.

I’ve got some suggestions.
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Go Vote

Tomorrow morning I’m going to be getting up early and heading out to vote. I’ll be voting for the candidate who has won the endorsement of American Conservative magazine. The candidate who is supported by the sons of Dwight Eisenhower and Ronald Reagan. The candidate who has been endorsed by dozens of other prominent Republican governors, senators and ambassadors who want a secure nation with sound fiscal policy.

They’ve seen through the lies and distortions vomited up by partisan campaign ads. They’ve actually checked out the facts and researched their candidate’s position instead of relying on talking points.

They’ll be voting for Kerry, and so will I.

How about you?

More political humor

This one is from William Gibson:
President Bush goes to an elementary school to talk about the war.
After his talk, he offers to answer questions. One little boy puts up his hand and the president asks him his name.
“I’m Billy, sir.”
“And what’s your question, Billy?”
“I have three questions, sir. Why did the US invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? And whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?”
Just then the bell rings for recess. Bush announces that they’ll continue after recess.
When they return, Bush asks, “OK, where were we? Question time! Who has a question?”
Another little boy raises his hand. The president asks his name.
“I’m Steve, sir.”
“And what’s your question, Steve?”
“I have five questions, sir. Why did the US invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Why did the recess bell go off twenty minutes early? And what the heck happened to Billy?”

Lightbulb Politics

From John Cleese – How many Bush administration officials does it take to change a light bulb?

None. There’s nothing wrong with that light bulb. There is no need to change anything. We made the right decision and nothing has happened to change our minds. People who criticize this light bulb now, just because it doesn’t work anymore, supported us when we first screwed it in, and when these flip-floppers insist on saying that it is burned out, they are merely giving aid and encouragement to the Forces of Darkness.

Damning With Faint Praise

Just an “ouch!” moment from the last paragraph of this CNN article:

Wisconsin is one of the few battleground states that has gained jobs since Bush took office. The unemployment rate is up nearly a percentage point, but Labor Department records show a gain of 200 jobs since January 2001.

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