Smithees at Smith

Here we are sallying forth to the first ever Smithees at Smith College. Notice the shiny yellow Smithee Awards bags. Stylin! The building in the background was not our final destination but it was a cool building none-the-less. I really liked Smith College’s campus. Pretty. Plus, the building where all the con stuff was happening was called Seelye Hall. You know, where all the pretty cheeses have classes.

The inaugural presentation of the Smithee Awards at Smith College went off just about as beautifully as we could have hoped and then some. And, to our surprise, then some more. The con didn’t start until 5pm, owing to the fact that Friday classes were still going on and you can’t have a con in the middle of econ (does that not sound like the beginnings of a joke? Con and Econ were walking down the street…). Ergo, we had most of a day to loaf around before we had to be at the “Meet and greet” panel around 6.

We boogered about in the morning wondering if we should bother to set up a junior version of the Unhealthy Snacks and Drinks of Color Not Found in Nature or not, but the pull of visiting a Big Lots in another state was too strong. I mean…Big Lots! In a different state!!! Sean Whose Name is Nate, Badmovie and I eventually caved in to our inner Snack provider personas and trundled out to Big Lots (in another state!) and Stop and rob Shop. I think we did very well restraining our purchasing glee and got enough snacks to only tempt a small army.

Snacks! If you look closely you will see that we purchased, for Smithee Snack Table Jr., Chicken in a Biscuit (natch), easy cheese (also natch and in cheddar too. Which reminds me: We found a new flavor of easy cheese – gray cap. It’ll most likely debut at the A2 show), Twizzlers (cherry and cola. Sadly, they were not a mixed unit Twizler but rather a packet of cherry Twizzlers sharing space with cola Twizlers), those nasty Easter candy Twizler things (perfect for the Smithees), blue drink, Br. Bob (Open up and say “AHHHH”), Utz cheese balls, some sort of odd potato chip, sweet potato chips, Weat-ums, gummi hard boiled eggs, bacon mints and toothpicks, and gray M&Ms. What’s the point of a gray M&M? Unless they are the M&Ms that stand between the darkness and the light. We buffered them between the blue drink and the cheese balls just in case.

However. After the acquiring of food and drink, we discovered that the ConBust people never put us in the on-line schedule AND that the printed schedule had the day completely wrong. They had to make up a little insert with corrections (oh, BTW the Smithees are on Friday, not Saturday like we had said) and man, I get nervous when info has to be disseminated through little inserts. Oh yeah, the newly revised inserts said the start time was at 8pm, not 7:30 like it was supposed to be. Ow. All that plus the Smithee show being a complete unknown entity at ConBust suddenly added up to enough factors to strangle a young show in its infancy. Truly, I was expecting 10 people. Maybe.

But! Fortune smiled on our beleaguered Smithees for we had scored the sweetest location. Ever. We were parked in the auditorium directly behind Registration and across the hall from the Art and dealer rooms. We couldn’t have been more centrally located if they parked us in the main hallway and really? A Smithee Awards is pretty hard to do in a hallway. We left the doors open and our beginning audience of 20 people slowly built as various con goers poked their heads in to see what all the laughter was about. Plus, free food! Our highest category had 36 voters which did not include anybody not voting (Sean Whose Name is Nate already voted at A2 so he refrained from stuffing the ballot box), the two dealers who kept switching off throughout the show and the couple Con workers that had to leave for various and sundry reasons. I’m betting we doubled our audience attendance by the end of the presentation.

And what a presentation! As always, I heart me the audience’s reaction to Soul Vengeance (*chucklesnort*) but this year was made even more precious when one lady started covering her eyes and then quickly switched to covering her partner’s eyes. Hee. And of course you can not discount the universal dismayed gasp from the audience when Anna Nicole Smith wants to be excused for believing in Sunday walks in the park and baybees. I’ve seen that clip shown four times and every. single. time. the audience, no matter how prepared, is shocked into new levels of aghast at her Sunday walks delivery. We’re sort of worried about how Anna Nicole’s death is going to impact that clip but honestly? She makes that clip her own with her “performance”.

Afterwards, people kept coming up to us to say that it was the funniest thing they had ever seen and how did we think it up and where do we get these movies and had we ever seen this movie and did we really watch all those movies and… It was really cool to listen to how much fun they had and that they had enjoyed the clips immensely.

Badmovie and LunarGeography model the new shirts. I think this is one of the cutest pics of LunarGeography and perhaps one of the not so cutest pics of Badmovie. In his defense (and in his own words) “If I knew you were going to take full picture of us I would have quit chewing! I thought you just wanted the shirt logo!” Nope. Heh. Although he does look like he’s contemplating something odd in a curious way.

Last year at the booniverse: You know when you see a really cool food thing on TV and you want to try it out at home? Sometimes it takes a while to get it right.

Last last year at the booniverse: I mean, take the following sentences: “God smote me for singing the lamby joe song” versus “I was smitten by God for singing the lamby joe song”. The first one sounds much more serious and old testament. I can see God frowning his cranky God frown and saying, “OK, I’ve heard about enough of that lamby joe song from boo. One lightning bolt, coming up!” while the other one sounds more like I’m singing an ode of devotion and lamby joe goodness to the almighty.

The year before at the booniverse: All this is leading to the astonishing fact that I, Rokokyu for going on two some years now, actually went to class last night.

The year before that at the booniverse: So many Big Lots to see, no time for updating!

One Response to “Smithees at Smith”

  1. Sean K. Says:

    Additional pieces of info:

    -While “Stop and Rob” is the common nickname given to the “Stop and Go” convenience store chain in Michigan, the nickname that people often use here for the grocery store “Stop and Shop” is “Stop and Die” (at least, according to Tom, that’s what they called it when he was in college around here)

    -The odd potato chips in question were Krunchers Jalapeno. Yummy!

    -The gummi eggs were fried, not hard-boiled (and I believe I shipped them back to you in the Smithee Box o’ Doom)

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