Smithee Answers

Here they are in all their glory. Enjoi

1. The Smithee awards are also host to Unhealthy Snacks and Drinks of Colors not found in Nature TRUE and FALSE

Leading off with a tricksy one. Don’t blame me, blame the randomness of a bunch of numbers on cut up LC cards. Anyway, of the 2.5 shows we do, only the Ann Arbor show is host to Unhealthy Snacks and Drinks of Color Not Found in Nature (the UCon show is too small to really get a good Unhealthy Snacks table going). If we get invited back to Smith College next year to do another Smithee presentation, we probably will resurrect Unhealthy Snack Table Jr. Sadly, the convention rules for the Origins show dictates “no outside food!” so no Unhealthy nothing for you Origins attendees. Well, except unhealthy movies. We got plenty of those.

2. The Guru, Earl, Sultan and Fearless Leader are not the original Supreme Smithee Committee members. TRUE

This is true. The Sultan and Fearless Leader are original founding members of the Smithee Awards but they had a different fella doing their editing in the early years. The Guru (AKA TheMan) and The Earl (AKA Badmovie) came in around Smithee 3 and 4 respectively (I believe). TheMan was brought in for his 1337 editing 5ki11z (since the original editor left the Smithee flock) and he brought in Badmovie because Badmovie too is 1337.

3. Jack Nicholson, Christopher Plummer, Michelle Pfeiffer and Gozdzilla have all made appearances in Smithee Movies. TRUE

Absolutely. Jack Nicholson starred in The Terror, Christopher Plummer wouldn’t be the Emperor of the Galaxy without a few powers at his disposal (Imperial Battleship: Halt the flow of time!) in Star Crash, Michelle showed up in No Mercy and Godzilla appeared at least twice (Godzilla vs. Monster Zero and another one I can’t seem to get the Smithee database to barf up).

4. On non-MegaMeta years, we put on three full Smithee shows. FALSE

For years when we don’t have to squish in a MegaMeta, we put on two full shows (Ann Arbor and Origins) and in the fall, TheMan and Badmovie put on a Smithee Primary show at UCon. The Smithee Primaries are an entirely different beast in that all the clips from all the movies they have watched are shown and the audience helps hone down the ballot to the best of everything. On MegaMeta years, assuming a Smithee season as starting after Origins and going through to the next Origins (basically a July to July year, the Origins show being the end point) we put on the UCon show, a Fall MegaMeta show in A2, the current year’s Smithee show in A2 at the usual spring time slot and two shows at Origins. I have no idea what we are going to do in 2016/17 when we have 5 MegaMeta winners to pit against each other, plus a MegaMeta plus the show. Maybe we’ll run the MegaMegaMeta the year after?

5. If another category were to be added to the show line-up, it would most likely be “Worst musical number” TRUE

For certain values of true, really. As is, the fastest we’ve ever done a show was a very rushed 4 hours – which is 2 straight hours of DVD time and 2 hours of ballot/technical/audience question time and a lot of running around like crazed chickens time. Usually the Smithee Awards run about 4.5 to 5 hours, which is a lot of hours. Another category could add 20 to 30 minutes onto the presentation and at some time you just have to say “stop! enough!” Still, people always ask “Have you thought about adding any other categories?” and we always tell then that yes, we have and if we did it would most likely be “Worst musical number”. We even have a couple good clips hanging around that never made it into a show just because their sweet dulcet tones are…ummm…yeah. On the other hand, if we can fit a musical number in (logically) to a category, then we will do so. What’s the fuss, Big Gus?

6. The Smithee awards have helped film makers sell their films. TRUE

There are a whole lot of bad movie buffs out there who are looking to score a good ‘B” movie and we are happy to act as their bad movie pusher. First clip’s free. Anyway – true story! – After the Smithee XV showing, a bunch of people up and decided that they wanted to see the all of The Guns of El Chupacabra (I’m sorry) so they piled over to Scott Shaw’s site to order them some goat sucker. Mr. Shaw noticed the spike in web traffic and asked “What gives?” to which someone said “Dude, saw clips from your film at the Smithee Awards”

7. Some of movies allowed in the Smithees are: Action, Comedy, Drama, Foreign, Horror, and Sci-Fi. FALSE

Nope. We specifically do not allow comedies, because funny is subjective and who wants to watch bad comedy anyway, and non English dubbed foreign films. The only exception seems to be foreign films made in Esperanto, which can be subtitled. Why? Because…Esperanto!. Also on the ineligible list are big budget movies with enough revenue to have a bevy of lawyers on retention. Why provoke the sharks when there are so, so many other fish in the sea?

8. The Supreme Smithee Committee pay a great deal of attention to possible copyright issues. TRUE

It may seem like it’s all fun and ha-ha, but people get really tetchy about their creative stuff. We respect that, which is why we do free live shows and do not offer clips tapes or do streaming video of the ceremonies. It’s not our stuff to really be doing that with, although small clips for educational or non-profit entertainment purposes is totally within the realm of acceptable. On one hand, yeah…the Smithee Awards poke fun at a lot of movies but on the other hand, a lot of Smithee movies are just plain fun to watch in the whole. If we can get a couple people to go out and buy/rent Zombie Lake or Guns of El Chupacabra then we are supporting the industry. A supported industry is a happy industry and a happy industry makes more films. Which we watch and make a clips show for.

9. MegaMeta Smithee shows are called MegaMeta because we have 10 clips per category. FALSE

MegaMetas are MegaMeta because they are shows made up of the past winners from the previous five years. There are still 5 clips per show at a MegaMeta but since these are winners of winners, it’s a much tougher show to vote for. Why MegaMeta and not Smithee Deluxe or something of that ilk? That I do not have an answer for.

10. The Smithee Show is a family friendly show appropriate for all ages. FALSE

Ooo, not so much, no. If not blindingly obvious by the presence of a category called “Let’s Up the Rating to ‘R'” then made abundantly clear by both presenters that “Clips may contain violence, nudity or strong language, often all at the same time.” Us ballot peeps also try to catch parents with small kids when they come through the doors saying “This is not a child friendly show, there is violence, nudity and swearing” Still, people bring their small kids in anyway. Why? Please leave your young’uns at home, we really don’t want to go to jail for corrupting a minor.

Last year at the booniverse: JSFR: Ocean Cracker

Last last year at the booniverse: JSFR: Ramune (blue Hawaii)

The year before at the booniverse: Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no updates.

The year before that at the booniverse: I wasn’t mixing flour, which required the turtle slow speed until it mixed with the wet stuff, I was mixing Powdered Sugar! Full speed ahead Mr. Christian!

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