Heinz 57

With a title like that, you gotta be expecting…Short Attention Span Theater!


Before I even got in there were three or four things I wanted to write about! I mean there was the shirts, the cars, the couch guys, or the pasties just to name a few. I even decided that I wanted to do a picto-blog but you all know how I am with the pics so maybe later. Also, I have decided that I have been ranting a bit for a while so I wanted to post something nice and fun (BTW, today the teal hit and run bastards are officially not guilty anymore. Oh, they still are the teal hit and run bastards and nothing new has cropped up with them, it’s just that yesterday was their last day of scapegoat servitude. I am curious to see how the Evil Karma Kampaign went from their POV but alas, I probably wont ever know save in my heart where I’m sure that at least some of their bad luck was a consequence of the campaign.).

Morning Amusement

While driving in today TheMan and I witnessed an Escalade try and do the stop sign waltz with a city bus. Usually, the waltz starts when two cars get to the stop sign (usually from adjacent directions) and neither one of them is sure who was there first and both of them seem to have forgotten the whole RIGHT of way rule of thumb (refresher: if you arrive simultaneously at a four way stop, the person on your right is the one who gets to proceed first through the intersection. Neat that, the right side person has the RIGHT of way? If you are both opposing, I can’t remember what happens so there you are out of luck; no wisdom nuggets for head ons). The dance begins when one car ooches forward and then the other starts to go so the first one stops but by then the second one stops because the first one was going which gives the first one another chance to creep a bit forward and so on. Eventually someone gives way and life goes on.

This time, however, the Escalade was definitely the second car at the stop but also trying to turn left into the lane the bus was going straight in. Have I lost you yet? Anyway, Escalade clearly did not want to be stuck behind a bus but Escalade was also clearly (in the legal sense) going to have to be turning after the bus went straight. Shock! Gasp! Horror! Say it aint so! So Escalade thought anyway and decided to ooch out a little ways ahead of the stop sign. Bus, however, wasn’t playing the ooch game and started on its ponderous way through the stop sign (well, after stopping that is). Escalade gave pause for a moment because King Grand Daddy Sire of Enormous SUVs it may be, but a city bus was a whole different creature to tango with. I suppose this is what David felt like staring up into the giant’s eyes but even David had a chance. Maneuverability was on the side of Escalade and there was the outside possibility that it could make it through before the bus. Escalade did another ooch forward.

Bus did not slow down, although bus wasn’t going very fast yet either. That’s kinda the nature of busses. Escalade stuttered to a stop, ooched forward, stopped, and then with a “Do I want to live forever?” attitude zipped around the corner just in front of bus. I had to laugh and shout in my best overlord(ess) voice “Two cars enter, one car leaves!”. Now THAT would have been entertainment: Bus vs. Escalade.

“Laaaaaadies and Gennnnnnntlemen. Welcome to the third annual Road Side Rumble. In the left hand corner weighing in at 5, 641 pounds we have the feisty, all purpose master of the feign and weave, the one and only Essssssssscalade! And in the straight corner weighing in at almost seven times the challenger at a whopping 19 tons, you know him, you love him, you get caught behind him every day on the way to work. He’s the current reigning Rumble champion: CIiiiiiiiiiiiIIIITY BUS!”

I’m putting my money on City Bus in a head to head.

Pasty Bloat

That’s PAAH(think splat).stee as in rutabaga, potatoes, other veggies as needed and MEAT all in a pie crust pocket. Not PAY.stee which one can spin two of in either direction if you have the talent or PÄ(think pop as in hop on).stee which is…errmmm…not anything really that I know of. I’m talking the third reason to go up north other than fudge and scenery. 1300 calories of fatty thumpy food goodness just waiting to be eaten while huntin da deers (oh, that would be a fourth reason) or maybe as a break from drivin da snowmobiles eh? (five).

We got our pasties from Jean Kay pasties, who by the way will ship them half baked and frozen by next day air to your door step for a pretty reasonable price. Jean Kay’s (906-228-4302 give them a call, order up some pasties to go!) makes all sorts of pasty flavors: your traditional beef, a whole wheat crust chicken and a whole wheat crust veggie all in the bigger size (it’s about the size of a flatted softball. Kinda looks like one too, if you could get a softball to squish down to about 2 or 3 inches) and veggie and beef in the “cocktail” size which are about half again as big as Goyza or an extra large egg. All you have to do is heat an oven, throw them in and anywhere from 30ish to 70 minutes (beef takes a while) and a quarter bottle of ketchup later wala! Pasty!

We decided to cook us up some pasties last night for dinner because we got fresh ones and I wasn’t counting numbers mostly. Let me tell you, a whole pasty is a meal and then some…a fact I keep forgetting. Somewhere really close to having eaten all the pasty my stomach finally took inventory of food items eaten and said something like “Holy wah! What’s this? An ENTIRE pasty? Dear god, what is she thinking?!?? Red alert-red alert! Prepare to stretch stomach walls to maximum!” I hate it when my stomach can’t keep up with my eating pace. I spent the entire rest of the evening with pasty bloat and it wasn’t until about ten this morning that food sounded remotely good. Ugh!

Next time, half a pasty (and a quarter bottle of ketchup. Mmmm, ketchup!).

Ho, Ho, Ho. Green Seedlings

After cleaning out the condo (which we got done this weekend YAY!) I found a whole bag of seeds I was going to plant two years ago. I was going to do this herb garden thing and well…shut up! I was thinking about the thing and I planned it out and I even got seeds so that should count for something. Hrrrmph. ANYWAY, I discovered all these seeds still in their packets and now, my ‘want to be green thumb’ is itching. I had originally planned to put in a row of rose bushes to line the walk up to our porch (and to cut off the mail carrier’s favorite over the lawn stomping grounds as well as shorten up the lawn some to make mowing easier. I am all sorts of clever!) and scatter some bulbs and perennials about but roses, bulbs, perennials AND herbs sounds much more cool.

So, what do I have exactly? Let’s see. Summer Savory. I dunno, it looks like tarragon and I suppose it goes well in some sort of dish. Hmmm. Next: Lemon Balm. Lemon Balm? Pssshht, I don’t know what THAT was about. Maybe I liked the look of the leaves. Ahhh, Longstanding Cilantro. An herb I recognize. Cool, but TheMan hates cilantro. Meh, it’s an herb, it’ll grow (or not). COOL! Hit number two: Anise. I wonder if I can make tea out of that? I always did like the flavor of anise. If these grow I might can bake up some sweeties with fresh anise in them. Yum!

Dudes, catnip. Aw, stylin. Kitty drugs is always good (and great entertainment too). Hmmm, the last herb packet appears to be Siam Queen Thai Basil. OK then, I get basil but I’m not sure how the queen of Siam basil differs. Or is it queen of Thailand basil? Or did Siam become Thailand? I suppose it really doesn’t matter to the plants much now does it? What fun, I want to go home right now and start planting!

Flowers! I have flowers! I have…OK this is weird: saliva-oh wait salvia. Much different. I always confuse alyssium with asylum too. Heh. Anyway, red sprouty flowers related to sage? seems to be their gig. I have two packets of them. Ah, looks like I got a white thing going too with Snow-in-summer seeds. Looks like alyssium to me. I like me some alyssium (or Snow-in-summer. Whatever. It’s all about the white sprouty flowers chillin in my garden). Oh say (can you see), seems I have forget-me-nots as well. I’ve got red, white and blue flower things. Whooo! Maybe I can plant them and they will come up for the 4th eh? Or not.

I think forget-me-nots were the little blue flowers that used to grow wild down by the lake at the old house. We had a whole colony of them in the lawn all along near the lake shore and in good wet springs they would go bazoo. Much like TheMan’s lawn violets, the Forget-me-nots would tint the lawn this crazy pretty blue green color (until my dad mowed) and on occasion I would tootle down and pick a whole tiny bouquet of them for my mumses. I hope the seeds are the same flowers, I think they are cute. Yes, cute. Shut up, flowers can too be cute.

Well, maybe not. Seems I also have something called Sweet William which looks like giant brains on a stem. OooooooKay then. Not so sure if I’ll be all too sad if these seeds don’t germinate. Then again, it could be a bad picture. BRAAAAAAINS! Maybe they will be a good mail carrier deterrent (especially if TheMan can hook up some sort of motion detector thing that quietly whispered “braaaains” when anyone stepped over the flowers). One can only hope.

Lastly, I have an envelope of Lupin and an envelope of Poppy. Musta gotten them from someone so who knows how old they are. What’s a Lupin? Are Poppies legal? Am I going to be growing a controlled substance in my garden? Now that would be funny, driving along and seeing some pot plants or whatever all sectioned off in an herb garden. What’s the fine for that?

Hawaii 5-0

Wanna see something really scary? I discovered that yes, I can go an entire work week wearing Hawaiin shirts. While looking for something to go with my blue flower skirt I found my blue flowered Hawaiin shirt (I got dressed all by myself today and I am stylin! Heh, I match everywhere) so I grabbed it and took it down stairs. Then, I promptly almost slid across the floor on my black flowered Hawaiin shirt (because laundry basket is a concept that is being resisted by both parties of the Q household…mostly because I keep dumping out the dirty clothes so I can ferry the clean clothes back and forth in something other than my arms. Methinks we need more baskets) and thought to myself “Hmmm…blue Hawaiin, black Hawaiin, black and orange Hawaiin and the two cotton shirts actually from Hawaii…that would make 5!”. See? Did I not just say something about this exact sort of math inability I have in the last Friday Five? See? 1+2+2 = one short of a full work week? I tell you, simple math and I are not good friends.

Next week I just may have to institute The Five Days of Hawaiin madness.

The Couch Guys

I’m going to save this for when I can pester TheMan to get me all sorts of pics of the Couch guys but I’ll give you a little teaser. For whatever reason we have a good number of weird stuffed things hanging out on the backs of the futons. I’m not sure if they are divided in any specific category or if they just sorta took up space where they could but for whatever the reason they all see to be hanging out there. I think originally they were “pun bunnies” or throwable soft objects to launch at anyone deserving to be smacked for a bad pun. Now, they are a collection of weird (and not so weird but at least themed) things of mostly Beanie origin but not always.

I think I did a thing about Beanie Death back a ways (and I’m going to be lazy and not link cuz I can) but the Beanies we (or rather mostly I) tend to gather (I refuse to be a collector of the things) are either elephants (because I have an enormous collection of stuffed elephants) or things that just have to be bought for their oddness or just Beanies that were bought on account. There is also non-Beanies like the Cthulhu family, the KKK Kitty and the Hello Kitty-aphant as well as Nutzo Elephant all chilling on the couch backs. Maybe tomorrow I’ll go through and picto introduce the weird things that hang out on our couches. We’ll see.

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