Ohhhhh, GNOMES is it?

Not for me though. Not even mooning gnomes. Nix on the Gnomes.

Been giving the “garden” the hairy eyeball all this weekend whenever I had a chance to look at it. See, TheMan and I have a PLAN (a canal-Panama! No wait…) which involves ripping out all the asinine former gardening and starting anew. Someone way back when decided that planting bushes would be cool, which it would, if the bushes hadn’t been stuck three inches from the house. Well, OK I exaggerate. Let’s call it six. Really, they are way too close to the house (however far they are…I think a foot would be the most accurate distance measurement) and they just need to come up and be moved back. Maybe as far back as the curb on trash Wednesdays. You cant get a happy garden when it hasn’t been started right. Plus, DQ did a mad pruning a couple years ago and I think the bushes are kinda sullen about that. Them bushes, I tell ya.

So, all the hedge monsters are going to go. There is some sort of boxwood critter plant thing in there that amuses me (but also has to move) so I am going to try to save the two of them but everything else OUTTA MY GARDEN! I’m also going to extend the garden a foot out into the lawn which will give the new plants space to hang. Unfortunately, it means digging up all that happy plastic garden edging liner stuff DQ put down (I think it was her? Well that’s the info I have anyway) but sometimes sacrifices have to be made. Besides, I am not too fond of that stuff even if it is da shit: It looks like garden hose to me. It’s a boo thing, y’all I just don’t like the hosey border thing. TheMan and I decided to border with paver stones or something of that ilk. He wants something with an edge that lends itself to easy mowing around, I’d like anything but plastic hose stuff.

Currently, the idea is to put dogwood and burning bushes in for that front of house bushy plant look and maybe myrtle as ground cover or something else or both and let them duke it out. While mowing yesterday I discovered there is a patch of lavender looking stuff that might be fun to work with, maybe, and there are always the aggressive violets hanging about that I am sure would love to have a go with the myrtle. Two plants enter, one plant leaves! Hee, leaves. I slay me. There are also two trees which have to be pulled up and gotten rid of. TheMan and I figure this year, being a wedding year and all, we might only be able to get the plants ripped out of the gardens and maybe the ground cover established (gotta see if the mumses has any extra myrtle for the steeling). I also might grab some lilacs that grow all bazoo like at the mumses and make a hedge in the near back.

I even went ahead and bought another copy of my cool gardening book that seems to have gone AWOL. The other one I bought in ’91 or ’92 so I figure it’s about time to get the updated version. I haven’t had much of a chance to go playing in it but I love it for it’s plant descriptions. It tells you the proper name, the common name, what zone the plant is good for, how tall it gets, and the plant’s mothers’ sister’s dog’s name to boot. Or it would if it could. It’s a great book for looking at plants and deciding what to get because you want to plant in a shady spot, or plant in a cramped spot or what have you. Heh, maybe I should dub it the Book of Plant Specs! It also has the other gardening info stuff so all around, a good book. (oh yeah, It’s called The reader’s Digest New Illustrated Guide to Gardening)

And TheMan put the kibosh on any garden gnomes, even the one that I found that appears to be mooning people. Foo. Mooning gnomes would rock!

And in other news, I HURT! Oh yes I do. See, the kids had their promotion demonstration Sunday and that meant that Saturday the Monday kids and the Saturday kids all got together to do a run through on Saturday before the demonstration. This meant that I was at the dojo on Saturday and not too much before Kung Fu class so I decided to go. Why me? KFu muscles are NOT Karate muscles and I hurt. Ow! And again ow! I did get to hang with Barb&Jeff after which was cool. Haven’t seen much of them lately. Got caught up on all the KFu dojo goodness. It’s amazing what you miss being out of the loop for a handful of months.

I also get to run Kids class today, which should be interesting. Zeff is going to be gone or mostly gone so he suggested I teach them some cool KFu things. The problem there in lies that these are kids and kids have the attention span of a gnat. I don’t want to teach them any new things that are going to have their brains puddling on the floor so anything involving bow stance, which they don’t know, is out. That leaves a lot of things out. However, I think I am going to focus on strong points and weak points today which is a very KFu thing and also something they can do in Karate stances. I plan on showing them how you can test for a good strong front stance (which is more or less the karate form of bow stance) which involves a lot of pushing. Kids dig pushing.

Next, I think I am going to a push and shove demo about the differences in strengths of a deep rooted stance and a shallow movable stance (the deep stance should win on a head on) and then show how the weaker stance can win if you get on the other guys weak line. Theoretically, if you can wiggle around the strong stance guys weak lines, you can give him/her a gentle push and over they go. KFu guys do this all the time so it should be cool for the kids to learn something different like that. Besides, they get to push people over. Kids dig pushing people over.

Lastly, The Circle Of Death. What kind of kid wouldn’t dig an exercise called The Circle Of Death. It even comes with it’s own reverb. Say it in your head: The Circle Of Death. See? Anyway, it’s a more free form exercise where one guy in the middle has to defend with a set technique any guy from a circling outer ring of all the rest of the students (one at a time). It should be fun if not totally chaotic. Maybe lastly if there is time we might do some pushing down aikido things that sempi Daren knows. He’s an aikido guy. So that’s my curriculum for an hour. Hope it holds up, we shall see. It should be at least entertaining if nothing more.

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