My Stumps

What the hell??!?? Sprouts?!?? Seriously, why is it that every plant that I’m trying to get rid of goes all kudzu when I butcher it down? I mean, that stump’s got 80s hair of sprouts. That just ain’t right.

And it ain’t happening in my garden. I finally had enough of Mr. McSprouty Stump mocking my plant killing efforts and suited up for some plant murdering around 8pm. What??!? CSI was on and I was having a bit of lazy time. Plus, it gave the sun time to go down or whatever and I wouldn’t have to slather on sunscreen or wear my snappy hat. My blog, my rationalizations. Anyway, it took me about a good solid hour plus of digging, clipping, scraping, pulling and swearing to get the apple tree and stoopid bush out of the ground. TheMan came out at the final hour and lent a helping foot by standing and shoving on the apple trunk until it fell right the hell over into the deep dark pit I had dug out trying to reach all the roots. Surprisingly, these two stumps seemed a bit easier to pull out than the previous six had been.

Maybe you do get acclimatized to the plant violence?

Tonight I fill in the hole that is making our front yard look a little ghetto (or full of pony sized moles) and quite possibly rip up more yardage. My laziness has caused my leisurely June deadline to suddenly be right around the corner with not much done. Yipes. On the other hand, I’m almost a pro at digging out bushes and trees.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before but back in the day, TheMan and I went a little crazy over Bionicles. We have all of the standy-up dudes (Toa Nuva), the roly-poly dudes (Krana) and the crouchy dudes (Rahkshi). They’re all over the place at our house, but mostly in a harmless but dusty tableau on top of one of the book cases. All but the brown standy-up dude which I took into work because he sucks. I also took the brown roly-poly dude into work because I am eternally amused by their brain flinging action and wanted something fun to counter the suck of the brown standy-dude.

This past week I snagged the brown crouchy dude to round out the set and discovered that he can sit on things. We’ve always had the crouchy dudes standing around in some sort of bad assed battle stance since they are pretty awesomely bad assed. On occasion we make them all tall and loomy since they have quite a lot of articulation (and also…bad! assed!) but I’ve never thought to have one chillin out and sitting around.

Currently, Panrahk (they have names!) is sitting on the fax machine with his feets dangling over the side looking like he’s gone fishing. I found that if you don’t tilt his shoes a bit and give his head a nice relaxed quirk, he looks like he’s trying to paddle the fax machine. I’m not sure which amuses me more but at the moment he’s fishing.

Plans! We have some fun weekend plans with Bubbles, LunarGeography and Badmovie in the form of celebrating Bubbles’ birthday. I’m seriously considering making no noodle lasagna for the event since Bubbles is on a low carb diet. I’m subbing out bacon for the noodles which ought to work. Noodles are wavy, bacon is wavy. Noodles are tasty, bacon is tasty. What can go wrong?

Sunday is devoted to Smithee prep and more garden murdering. I might also murder some plants early Saturday before we head out to hang with Scott H but I might not. I do plan to pull out lawn until I reach the driveway this weekend as my garden goal. I’m not promising anything about the stumps though. There are about 5 in close proximity and it takes me about an hour to dredge out one and I’ve already done two this week. I think I’ve safely made my stump evicting quota. If no stumps are wrestled out, at least I’m going to take the loppers and do some serious bush trimming. Ain’t nothing like choppering down a bush to satisfy one’s plant homicidia.

Sprouts? From a root? Oh you’re going DOWN mister.

Last year at the booniverse: I scored a Team Wisconsin squishy cow. YAY!

Last last year at the booniverse: If I don’t update tomorrow, look for my finger which has fallen off, gone zombie and started terrorizing the town.

The year before at the booniverse: Providing you with your total RDA of bizarre out of context sentences.

The year before that at the booniverse: DAMN we have buttons. Buttons and buttons and then some more buttons and just when you thought there were no more buttons HEY! Buttons.

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