Origins 07: CABRA!


…and the winner for worst pic is…ROLLER BLADE!

Yerg. I think we decided that sleep trumps free food on an after show Saturday morning so no Drury breakfastage was attempted. We managed to get up at around noon for our prearranged meeting with the Sultan and we were almost late to that. I am so not as young as I once was. Anyway, I wanted to get the scoopage on the show and to make sure all the winners I had jotted were right (I apparently can almost pat my head and rub my tummy. Almost). The Sultan is the official keeper of Smithee stat stuff and I wanted to needed to update the Smithee LJ. I am the Promotions Ninja after all and part of Promotions Ninjaing is updating the LJ in a timely fashion. It’s a whole “keeping a presence out there” sort of thing but man. I hate futzing with all the pictures. Hate.


But no HATE for pirates, even though Ninjas and Pirates are supposed to have this huge epic thing going on. He’s just too cool to hate. Pirate!

But I sucked it up, buttercup and picture futzed, more or less. At least I dumped them all into a gallery on the LJ site with promises to link them in later. It took me about five years to write up a not so grand entry and then we headed on up to the room for Smithee prep. It never ends! Our unused ballot packs from the Smithee 16 show needed to be de-pened and all the MegaMeta ballot packs had to be stuffed with pens (from the unused packs and the pile of pens collected from the voters at the end of the previous evening). That’s a lot of penning. Also, Ziploc baggies are really slickery. Also also we should only have to do a pen transfer every five years as there is really no reason to have 800-1000 pens on hand. It’s probably easier to transfer 400-500 pens once in five years than it is to store and tote a bazillion pens twice a year every year.

At least that’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.

I think we spent the rest of the early afternoon boogering around, possibly hitting the dealer’s room for some last minute pre show dealarage. Sadly, TheMan snuck out and did the dealer room all by his lonesome when things and stuff were happening so I missed my chance to hang with him again. What was I doing? Starbucks? For the entire afternoon? I can’t remember. Maybe we picked up some dinner. Maybe not. Two shows is a lot of work! It’ll suck the memory right from you. Anyway, long about 5 it was time to get all gussied up for MegaMeta3.


The Guns of El Chupacabra fans were mighty rabid about the Chupa! Cabra!-ing but they just couldn’t pull out a victory landslide. Guns won Let’s Up the Rating to ‘R’ and that was it. Of all the clips Guns and Roller Blade were going head to head for, why did Guns have to win this one? I’m never going to be able to use the “Rub-a-dub-dub, three post apocalyptic nuns in a tub” line again. I’m also sad that Roller Blade beat out Guns in worst picture because I don’t think the Roller Blade clip is all that grand but I love the rockin’ Guns naked chick beating up aliens worst pic clip. Guns only lost by 11 votes too. I’m going to have to hunt down those 11 people and do some ‘splainin.


At least Godzilla didn’t win Stupidest Looking Monster. That coveted prize went to…Herschel the Turkey headed freak. Who I hate. With a deep abiding passionate HATE. On the other hand, not only does Herschel have the Stupid Moxie to go toe to toe with Godzilla and win, he’s now up against Rana’s arm snake and something called “The Jitters”. I don’t think Godzilla is quite in Rana’s league but Herschel? Most definitely. I was amused when I realized that the Sultan, the originator of the Godzilla clip, had just as deep a loathing HATE for Narcotic Justice’s Crummy Ending as I had for Godzilla as SLM. I take full responsibility for Narcotic Justice. Ergo, I was pleased as peaches when Godzilla lost (although it was to Herschel) and Narcotic Justice won. Yes, I am five years old. I may have even gloated, although it was a short lived gloat since part of my gloating involved Herschel. That’ll put a damper on any festivity right quick.


Smithee fans sign a giant birthday card for Mr. Smithee.


BWA! A Hand…something! I think it might be an Orochi from the giveaways the night before. Either that or some new hand monster giving Soul Vengeance a run for its money. After all, Soul Vengeance only profiled one member. This one’s got five.

Afterwards it was booz and food time and cake! for a more intimate birthday celebration. Not that we don’t love all you crazy Origins Smithee fans but we can’t afford to feed y’all cake. There was a mixup at the pizza place so instead of booz! and food and cake, we just had booz and cake. Let me tell you, booz and cake on top of five hours of show the day after presenting another show will kick anyone’s hinder. We vibrated back to our rooms at 3am-ish and crashed like dead things.


Last year at the booniverse: I am going to have to go to war with the stoopid bush/weed tree fiasco which we thought we might have professionally pulled but it turns out that we are not. Don’t ask, at least I get to do some plant massacring.

Last last year at the booniverse: Right! I have a small skirmish with the Horde to contend with and then it’s cherry washin’ time.

The year before at the booniverse: Whittier, where the snow is still knee high by the 4th of July.

The year before that at the booniverse: How am I supposed to eat my soup with a clam in its calm housing looking at me from out of my Miso?

Leave a Reply