Small Buttons Big Donkey Ass

I’m illing and twitchy and I have the munchies. So here’s today’s entry! Whoot.

It’s official: Smithee buttons are here! I made up about a dozen two(ish) inch buttons that have the trash can, some film and “I Stayed up to Watch the End of This?!? Smithee Awards 2003” on them and can I say that the two inch button making experience sucks mighty ass? We got 2 sizes of button makers, 3(ish) and 2(ish) and I already spent a good evening crunching 3 inch buttons for Smithee things. I love the 3 inch system! You start with this blue base thing that you put the button front, your artwork (facing up as indicated by a silver notch) and a plastic slip cover in. Then you put this gold ring thing over the top of it and push down “Whomp”. It’s a gasketed doohickey so the whomp is getting the gasket to settle into place. Then, you flip it over, stuff a gray spacer in the back and pop it down with a green stomper thing. Take those fellas out, flip it over and take the red stomper doohickey and stomp the front of the pin. Flip it over again, put the back in (lining the pin part up with the etched bars in the blue base thingie), cover the back with the green stomper and stuff it into the press where you squish it down and wala! A button!

I had this assembly line rhythm thing going on (back, art, film, whomp, flip, stomp, flop, stomp, green thing, press, Button!) and cranked out a million (or at least until I ran out of button making supplies) 3 inch buttons one night bickity bam! I love the 3 inch button. I sing the praises of the three inch button maker technology! We even ordered 250 units of supplies so I can finish making the category buttons (I have Alas, Deus Ex, Up the Rating, Acting Stupid and Stupid Monster done. 14 more categories to go!). So last Tuesday I go on with plan B and the 2 inch generic Smithee buttons.

2 inch buttons suck mighty donkey ass. Mighty. They don’t even rate giant moose wang they suck so bad. First off it’s roughly the same technology only altered so that it sucks royal equine hiney. It has a blue base but no happy silver top notch. Instead it has ‘top’ slightly etched in one of the four prongits on the face. You have to look carefully to see it otherwise you end up making a button that pins on sideways. Not that I know from personal experience. Heh. Moving on. Once the front, art and cover are in the blue base (correctly) you take the yellow ring with hook prong doohickies and twist-slide the yellow prongs into the blue prongs and “lock” the whole assembly. It’s a great idea if, say it didn’t twist your art with it every single time or if it actually, you know, locked.

After a few ill attempts, I started putting the art in somewhat skewed from top so that when it twisted with the “locking” of the gold ring it would be more or less straight. As to the purported locking, I haven’t figured out a good assembly line way to keep the two damn discs together and make buttons with speed and accuracy. Hrrmph. I also cant seem to get the stompers to stomp evenly which also sucks and makes the buttons turn out a little warped where the front plate latches onto the back plate. They are solid (I tested) but I don’t like the way they look. FAH on 2 inch buttons, this is the last (and only) year I am doing them. Stupid 2 inch buttons. I also need to make about 150 more of them for give aways. Stupid stupid donky ass sucking 2 inch buttons, I curse your very existence!

I’m not making buttons today, however, because I’m sick. Food Poisoning (mildish case as in I’m not in the hospital or writhing in digestive agony but still, uncomfortable). I am thinking the culprit was either bad dressing, bad salad or too much raw batter and bad eggs. Fortunately I did not throw up but I didn’t want to be too far from the john either. Pleasant. Weirdly, I have been munchie all day, which makes no sense. “Hmmm, my ass is doing its best Montezuma interpretative dance, what do we have to eat?” I did discover, while looking for the last of a bag of tiny chocolate chips in the freezer and not finding them but continuing to poke around in hopes that they would materialize for about five minutes, that freezer head feels really good. I may go looking for something else in there in a bit just to poke my head around with the pasties and chicken breasts. Comfy.

I even considered cleaning out the crock pot and making a crock because the chicken breast was in the freezer and I could legitimately stick my head back in there and not look like a dork. You can’t just open the freezer door and stick your head inside ’cause it feels good. It’s just not done. However if you are looking for the chocolate chips or that elusive chicken breast it’s perfectly fine to stick your head in the freezer. Yeah, I know I’m a freak. But speaking of cleaning, you will never guess what I did yesterday? Go on! I’ll give you a hint having to do with the horde. Yup, I cleaned all the dirty dishes (save the crock pot and one mug that had escaped the round up) and we have a kitchen again. The horde has been vanquished! Hooo!

Not only that, I am doing laundry too. I am all sorts of industrious. I’m prepping for this weekend where we have a gazillion things planned and a handful of hours to do them in. Oi. TheMan and I ichatted this morning and made a list of Origins munchies we should get for general eats. I figure we should probably have breakfast munchies, snack munchies, lunch munchies and then we could go out to dinner with the gang and all. It will save us $$ to only be eating out once day and really, lunch is a hit or miss thing. At least from what I remember last year it was. People were going on with games and dealer room and stuff so really we only hooked up after everything closed and that was dinner which went on to drinks late into the night. I wonder if we should bring our own booze? Maybe make up a pitcher of long islands? It would save us a ton of money to not be buying $5 Long Islands, but then again some of the fun is ordering from the bar. Dunno, we shall see.

So buttons, trash can thingit give aways (which have to be sprayed gold), munchies, the last of the menu things, photographing the newest 1KBWC additions, shopping for shorts, gardening, lining up a kitty sitter, mowing the lawn and changing out the toilet on the second floor are all items on the list that need to be checked off before next Wednesday. Right now, I’m on the clean clothes part of the check list and I have gotten the dishes done and checked off. Man, there are a bazillion more things to do, I should be out doing them!


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