Ann Arbor Smithee 17


We thought these were a wonderful idea when we picked them up at Sam’s last weekend. I mean…cherry M&Ms? Chocolate Skittles? What could go wrong? Well the cherry M&Ms, while not bad, tasted like cheap cherry cordials. Really, every other M&M ever made tastes better than these. Mrrh. The Chocolate Skittles on the other hand…see…there’s a reason that Skittles are fruit flavored. I’m just sayin. We opened one pack of each, didn’t even finish those packs and then packed them up for Smithee fodder under the label S&Ms. Because they are!


So the show. We had quite a bit of drama getting to the show this year what with the difficulties of getting a room (props to B who saved our hineys) and then the difficulties of scrambling to get the word out when they abruptly changed the room. Three weeks before the show all the publicity was out and pointing people to a building that the University decided to up and close the weekend we were supposed to be there. Props to room scheduling who scrambled us up the new venue: Modern Languages Building Auditorium 3 (pictured above).

It’s a nice big auditorium with some perks and some drawbacks.


The first was that we weren’t familiar with the layout so it took us a while to get the hang of things. Like where the light switches were.


Found ’em! Actually I was taking a pic of the AV booth, which we didn’t get to use, when TheMan called for a light check. Click. Snap. Doah. At least we got documented proof of what time we got there. Ish. Sorta. We decided to arrive earlier than usual because we had signs and chalk for the people who didn’t get the LJ announcements, e-mails, or word of mouth info about the room change.


LunarGeography and I headed out with tear-by-hand tape, WE’VE MOVED-ACK flyers and sidewalk chalk in an effort to redirect the lost. Afterwards, we went for sammiches. Point MLB: It’s close to food and coffee.


What? The Smithee Awards aren’t in the Chem Building this year? Hows come I’m always the last to know about these things? Also, I’m a squirrel and can’t read so could you just…maybe…throw a bit of food towards the new room? That’d be nice thanks.


Speaking of food…the MLB doesn’t have much in the way of tablage so we had to scramble for snack food perchage. None of the four tables were the same size and one I had to nick from Aud-4. Not the best snack set up: Point Chem Bldg. On the other hand, we kinda liked having the snacks in back so we may incorporate that into next year’s Smithees if we are back in the Chem Bldg.

One of the drama points this year was that Passover started on Smithee night. We bought appropriate kosher for Passover snacks for our kosher keeping jewish Smitheeites so all was good. I think. We also had bacon bars (not kosher), vegetarian bacon bars (could be kosher theoretically but most likely not), cream between sandwich cookies (heh) and three different packs of Jones sodas: Christmas, Hanukkah and the Sports pack. I tried none of them this year. I am a happy camper.


People also brought stuff as is custom. Here are some of Badmovies ex-coworkers (and Bubbles current coworkers) with two cases of those nasty bug juice drinks in a plastic barrel. Remember those from days gone by? I also had none of them but other people certainly did. Only four bottles remained at the end of the night. Tiny angel food cakes also arrived as well as a vile cheese dip thing (thanks mom) and an awesome Cinnabon coffee cake thing (thanks mom!). I guess I can’t ban my mother from the Smithees quite yet because that coffee cake sure did undo all the damage the cheese dip thing wrought. Some Japanese Snacks arrived as well and at the end of the night I snapped those puppies up fast like. You bet I did.


Last year I took a picture of a lady and her stuffed octopus date. This year she brought a giant stuffed fish to the show. I have no idea.


The audience! I loved all y’all’s reaction to the Scarecrow Gone Wild Best One-liner. Asshole Mike telling it like it is about splitting up and people cheered with abandon. Nice. I also amused myself by watching all y’all during the Nemesis 4 ‘R’ clip and the Knight Riders MLP clip. Hee.

Surprisingly, 171 of you managed to find your way to the new room this year. Wrock! That’s quite a few less from the 243 of last year and just marginally under the 176 of 2006 which…wow (the expression). One wonders what the numbers would have been if we were in the Chem Bldg this year. And the Dalai Lama wasn’t in town. Or Bob Sagget wasn’t at the Michigan Theater. Or Bobby McFerrin wasn’t at Hill Auditorium. Or that they hadn’t rerouted traffic slightly for graduation prep. Or…

Another interesting factoid was that this year we made up voting packets for A2 show. Last year we did the same for Origins and discovered that 50 or more people attend the show than the max vote accounts for. We’ve never done a total attendance versus max vote for A2 so this year we decided we might as well. We (and by ‘we’ I totally mean Badmovie) made up 400 ballot packs and at the end of the night we counted up 225 unused ones. That’s 175 packets given out and if the max voting high was 171, the numbers tell me that there was only a 4 person difference between max attendance and max vote. Holy cow! The statistics numberage supports this since the…ummm…difference number (variance? Ebb? Flow? Whatever) was almost as tight as the ice storm of aught five. When people come to the A2 Smithees, they stay at the A2 Smithees apparently. Huh.


Here are Badmovie and DQ furiously counting ballots. Badmovie remarked that it was very hard to count during the Dark Decent whoops clip because of the audience counting. Heh.


We had giveaways and as weirdly usual, people we knew got picked for stuff. We even had random people pick names and lo. Three of the four winners we personally knew. This is my friend Sean who I invited out to the Smithees this year. His first time and he gets a Norbert. Go Sean!


Afterwards it was BOOZ and FOOD time at…Pizza House (where else?). Point Chem Bldg: It’s closer to Booz and Foodz. TheMan and I ordered our way down the specialty Long Island drink list and topped it off with a plate of chicken strips. Kudos for the Original, Sicilian and Jamaican Long Islands.


2007: Resting up for the big move, no time to update.

2006: Have you ever been stuffed in a packed bus or subway car? And then you can’t get out because everyone is pushing and shoving and you are trying not to smash the beejeebus out of a little old lady or some woman who is 12 months pregnant because you are nice like that, but nobody else is and the doors are only open for so long but the little old lady/pregnant woman is moving at glacial speed and you know you wont make it unless you either put your shoulder into it and help the little old lady/pregnant woman along or do like every body else and mow her the heck down and MOVE!

2005: The puppet didn’t get done (shifted to tonight) but we have 297 working pens out of a pool of 347.

2004: OK then, it’s Monday so it must be the weekend recap and here it is: Editing. Now y’all can go home and relax.

2003: That’s a lot of chalking!

2 Responses to “Ann Arbor Smithee 17”

  1. Sean K. Says:

    I see. Since I couldn’t come to A^2 this year, you got a replacement Sean! Very clever…

  2. Boo Says:

    You’ll notice he won someting too. It’s hard to find a Sean-friend who is guaranteed to win something his first time out. Plus, now he has the pressure of having to win next year too. You may need to come back so the replacement Sean doesn’t explode from the pressure.

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