GOLLUM: Blllleeeeech. You can have your taters. I prefers my fishes raw and wrrrrrrrigly.

So, today marks the second day of “The Diet”. It’s not really a diet type diet as such, but more an attempt to eat healthier things in place of junk food or things that may not be as healthy. All in all, it means TheMan and I are eating a ton more fruit and vegetables and cutting way back on bready stuff and processed stuff. Fruit for breakfast, fruit/veggies for snacks, a salad for lunch and some sort of meat dish for dinner. And more fruit/veggies if we are hungry.

I’m still working out the kinks (like grains, where are my 5 servings of grains in this new plan? Or is it 4 servings? I really have to get a nutrition book that tells me what I need to eat and how much) but eventually I hope to be eating a much leaner and healthier fare and liking it. There’s the rub; I don’t really much like fruit. I have tried many times before eating a fruit a day, sometimes that being my only fruit, but after a week or so of doing well I skip a day. Then two until finally I get this great collection of wrinkly fruit that festers until I throw it out. Not good.

So what’s wrong with fruits then? Well nothing if it’s a banana. Man, bananas are the king of fruits. I could eat bananas and bananas and bananas and be happy. Green ones, yellow ones, small ones, big ones day or night I love me some banana. Can’t explain why, but from the first satisfactory splitting crunch of cracking the peel to the pinch and pull of the last bite off of that nasty black bottom thing, bananas make me happy. Their texture is nice and mushy to chew and if you are really clever, you can stick your tongue in the middle of a banana bit and split it into three. Way cool.

TheMan has a different opinion of bananas; He dislikes both the flavor and texture of them. On the other hand, he loves him some apples. I am not so fond of apples for eating, although they make some fine pie fillings and good fritters and excellent juice. Apples are only amusing when you bite into them and can break off a chunk to chew. Then comes the chewing. Then another bite chunk and chew, maybe some skin between the teeth this time. I hate that. I guess eating an apple is more a chore for me than a fun experience (go Bananas!) so I don’t look forward to eating them raw.

Pears? Well, pears I like. Don’t know why it’s No on apples and Yes on pears other than I think pears have much more flavor and aren’t as irritating to eat. Of course you gotta let a pear sit until you can dent it by poking it with your finger, then and only then is it ready to eat. If you can’t keep the juice from running all over the place, then that is a great pear. Still, sometimes I have to be in a mood for pears and I have had to throw away a few in my life time.

Melon. It’s a fun word to say. Melon. Especially if you hold the M really long and then let the rest of the word tumble out of your mouth really quickly. In theory I like Honeydew melon but it is so rare to actually get a good one that I just quit trying. Cantaloupe is a better bet but cleaning and cutting it is a pain. Now if someone cleans and cuts my melon I’m all happy about that. I’d eat cantaloupe melon happily then.

Pineapple. Not as much fun to say and a pain to prepare but I’d eat that too if someone handed me fresh cut pineapple. I need a fruit chef I think. On to citrus.

Citrus is a weird thing. I just peeled a grapefruit and ate half of it in sections. Not sure about that whole experience, I just started last year with the peel and eat grapefruit thing and the jury is still out. First off, most of the grapefruit I get has a 3 foot skin or so and man do I hate that white stuff sticking to my fruit. Blech. Takes me forever to peel a grapefruit, once for the outer rind and once for all that white stuff clinging onto my sections. I prefer grapefruit cut in half, all the sections cut in wedges and after I spoon them out, I squeeze what’s left into a bowl and drink the juice. THAT, in my opinion, is the proper way to eat a grapefruit. I need to get a knife and a bowl here at work it seems.

Oranges? Same deal. Love to cut them into quarters and stuff them in my mouth with rind out (hee) and chew all the juice away. Hate to peel them. Clementines, on the other hand, I have discovered are quite boss for a citrus freak like myself. They are cute and small and you can about peel them in one pulling, PLUS they leave no white goonk. I bought a box of them and am, so far, happily peeling and noshing my way through them.

Berries. I don’t like strawberries if they haven’t been dredged in a ton of sugar. I think I have had maybe 5 sweet strawberries in my life and thems not good odds so it’s just no to strawberries. Maybe they are supposed to be tart or maybe I’m missing that gene that lets me believe strawberries are good. Either way, they are not on the diet because I am not eating them without a dredging of powdered sugar and powdered sugar aint on the diet.

Blueberries. Never had them as themselves. I’m not fond of how they squirt out of their casings when you bite them tho (same for grapes), so I would have to nix them.

Raspberries. Good things, seasonally tough to get where they taste like raspberries. Then again, I used to live across the street from a raspberry farm so we would get them fresh when we had them. I might be spoiled.

Weird other fruit. Kiwi would be an outstanding example of this. I like it because it’s green. I’m not overly fond of the taste and don’t much like preparing them. They also look like they should be elf testicles or something. It’s a bit disconcerting.

Star fruit is another weirdo. I’m not even sure how to eat one. I had one once and it was sweet but they look too weird to eat.

Lastly, pomegranates. Man, they are some tasty fruit, but a pain to eat. They have peeling, staining and mondo seed evilness issues but once in a while I think they would be a nice treat.

One Response to “Fruits”

  1. TheMan Says:

    Clementines are usually seedless, right? Somehow I got one that had all of the seeds from all of the other clementines in the box…

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