On my day off Friday, our IT guys were hard at work setting up my new computer. I had forgotten that so when I came back on Monday I was greeted with the awesome shininess that is my new computing duds. WHEEEE!

Well, sorta wheee because the first problem I encountered was that I had no idea where the start up button was on the new model and I couldn’t see worth a darn to easily locate said button. That might be because my office was dark on account of I hadn’t turned the lights on. OK, maybe problem number one was more operator error but it is now my opinion that start up buttons need to be more visible than black on black with no texturization to help find the dang thing. After a bit of blind man’s stabbity I finally found the on button and fired up my hot rod computer. Then I turned on my office lights.

Why can’t the giant Dell button serve as the on/off switch? Speaking of giant Dell buttons, mine swivels so you can have the unit standing upright or lying horizontally and still read the Dell without going through neck spasms. Can’t find the on button but by golly, that Dell can be seen a mile away no matter how you have your computer oriented. Mine is upright and snugged up under my desk right against the side.

Sadly, I discovered today that my disc drive opens up sideways, which is awkward, and also the loading side is one inch shy of being flush with the wall of my underdesk. Not terribly convenient but amusing.

Anyway! New computer. Is awesome except for the fact that I could not find my web browser of choice (Mozilla) anywhere on the machine. Uh-oh…that’s where I kept all my bookmarks. Hrrrm! So I decided to go to Mozilla to download a new Mozilla browser so when the IT guys were able to fish up my bookmarks from the back up I’d have a fresh new browser to import them to. Except Mozilla doesn’t make Mozilla anymore. Uh-oh^2.

It turns out that Mozilla still makes Mozilla but because people were getting all confused with the company Mozilla, Mozilla Firefox and Mozilla the web browser, they went ahead and renamed the Mozilla web browser. To Seamonkey. Of course I had Seamonkey on my computer because that’s what happens when you get a shiny new computer with all new softwares, Mozilla gets upgraded to Seamonkey. Thus, my bookmarks were indeed on my computer but not in anyplace I’d ever look for them because I had no idea Mozilla had changed its name. And who decided that Seamonkey was the intuitive choice for a new name? Is it because Godzilla comes from the sea and so do Seamonkies?

Problem one solved. My next issue was that my computer decided that my grace period for Acrobat Professional was up and that I needed to download an e-license to continue on. Huh? Grace period? What? I did anyway and it turns out that’s just how Acrobat rolls. Apparently it has to do with some sort of licensing agreement and blah blah techno-cakes. At least it wasn’t a trial version of the program like I first thought. That would have been less than functional.

Next, my computer was all cranky about performing its backup because apparently, some other computer was using the things and stuff my new computer needed. That hussy! I was amused by the message that read something like “Hey, some other computer is using the stuff I need. You want me to just switch it all to me instead? Because that would be the most convenient for me so I can do the things I need to do. Besides, the bitch won’t stop using my resources.” I am not one to willy-nilly comply to my computer because who knows what’s really going on (my new computer is turning into a bit of a princess) and I don’t mediate computeriese very well. The IT guys gave me the go ahead to comply with my computer’s wishes which made it very happy. I think I may be well on the way to creating a monster who bullies the other computers around.

Of course I spent some time resetting my preferences so that the screen was readable and Word quit fucking around (godDAMN Word! Stop with the “So you want to write a letter” already! Been there, used the program, do not need the tutorial launched every time I open you up). I think all the quaint oddities have been eradicated but I won’t know for a while yet because I haven’t test driven everything extensively.

Now I only have one issue left to beat down: Why does my new computer start slowing down after lunch to come to a crashing halt around 3pm? It’s happened every day so far but easily solved by rebooting. Which I shouldn’t have to add to my daily checklist of “things to do at work”. Personally, given the short history of the computer, I think it gets a case of lunch coma and sluffs off around 3. Great, I have a Princess computer with a lazy work ethic. We may have to have one of those closed door chats if it keeps up with this attitude.

2007: Three hours later I had all the parTAY items and it was time to go home and…nap! Heh. What? Shopping tires me out.

2006: JSFR: Soken Seaweed Candy

2005: Princess doesn’t want me to update.

2004: One last item of note: Tomorrow is TheMan’s birthday. Happy pre-birthday babe!

2003: After that, I went inside to find that TheMan had negotiated a total surrender of the Horde and for once there was counter space. I think I might have had a small stroke.

3 Responses to “1001001”

  1. TheMan Says:

    I *so* want to get a tank full of sea monkeys and stick a label on ’em that says, “Web Browsers”.

  2. TeacherPatti Says:

    There is an awesome South Park eppy where Cartman starts his own colony of Sea Monkeys (they are called something else of course), but I digress.

    Why the paperclip always show up and ask about a letter? Why must it always intrude? Even after I think I’ve turned it off? I realize that asking if I want help writing a letter is its sole purpose in life, but it really bugs me.

  3. Kevin Says:

    Dude. 3 PM Minesweeper marathon.

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