The Friday Five!

Shpawts. Meh, whatever.

1. Do you watch sports? If so, which ones?

Heh. Sports. My idea of “Watching the Big Game (TM)” is to either read about it in the paper the next day or overhear someone talking about it the next day. I have no interest whatso ever on forming an attachment to a particular team and rooting for them every Sunday (or Monday or twice a week or November. Whatever). I will give the Red Wings a passing “Oh, so they won last night? How are they doing then? Great!” here and there if I happen in on some of the more rabid hockey fans but mostly I go along in my ignorant bliss sportless and happy.

That’s not to say I don’t enjoy a live game now and then. Hockey happens to be my fave sport to go see live although college football has more going on outside the game (shiny!). Heh, actually college football is pretty meh without the band, fans, cheerleaders, opposing fan’s shenanigans, blimp action, food guy and hey, are they doing that lining up thing again on the field?

I dislike baseball unless I’m playing it. It’s just boring. Zzzzz. I don’t like basketball either because I hate the squeaky tennis shoe noise as the dudes run all over the place. *shudder* That and they are always squeaky squeaky to the left basket-score. Squeaky squeaky to the right basket-score. Squeaky squeaky to the left basket-score. Ad nauseaum. Score score score go home (squeaky squeak). I did watch the Lakers during one of the play-off games a couple of years ago at Dirge and Shar’s place (they are big Lakers fans) and I will have to admit it was fun. Those games had intrigue (and the squeaky squeak) where balls were stolen or maybe these great pass-pass-pass-SCORE plays or even Shaq mowing through someone for an…alley oop? I think that’s a basketball term. Dirge was explaining some of the ref calls to me and that helped to be able to follow what was going on in that respect. Still, not so much on the Basketball.

2. What/who are your favorite sports teams and/or favorite athletes?

Heh, looks like #1 answered a lot of the other questions here. I blabble! Well, I do kinda like the Red Wings because they are my local team (go team, or something) and they play hockey, which rocks and they have cool uniforms. I like the wheel and wing thing and it looks sharp in white on red. What can I say? Plus, of all the local teams (professional) they are the only ones who are successful. I mean look at the Tigers, they even managed to screw up being the worst team ever (for the second time in a row I believe). They just can’t do anything right.

I’ll “root” for my alma mater (Is that spelled right?) because…well otherwise I’d have to root for State and THAT’s not going to happen, not in this lifetime. Heh. OK, well maybe that’s not completely true; as the old saying goes “My two favorite teams are Michigan and whoever plays Ohio State”. Yeah, back to the Ohio bashing. I can’t help it, we were talking college sports and it just sorta naturally flowed that way. Like shit downhill. Hee! OK, OK seriously. Teams. The Wolverines (who do not have a mascot, BTW. That cracks me up) are pretty cool and if we are on a winning streak I’ll be more interested in what the score was the day after. I’m a fair weather fan I guess.

And they have pretty cool helmets too. I like the design.

3. Are there any sports you hate?

Do. Not. Like. The squeaky squeak of basketball shoes traveling on the court. I also don’t understand why anyone would want to watch baseball or golf on TV. I’m not so sure why anyone would want to play golf, for that matter because damn, either whack the bajeebus outta the ball and go drinking or put the damn thing in your pocket and go drinking. The whole ‘whack-walk’whack-walk-whack-kerPLUNK (score). Start over’ philosophy has me stymied. Heh, I’d play golf if the object was to hit the ball as hard and far as you could (and then go drinking).

Meh, I guess there are more “Sports I don’t like more than others” rather than hate. I’ll even watch sumo wrestling. That shit’s fun!

4. Have you ever been to a sports event?

Oh sure! I went to a Big 10 (12, 15, 307 whatever) school and had a rabid sports dad for a…err…dad so of course we attended some home football games. Oddly enough, I attended more Wisconsin games (dad’s home state) that I did Michigan games but that was pretty cool. UW has THE best marching band ever. No, ever. Yeah, even better than those guys. Seriously those band guys are on some bitchin drugs. The best kind. They are all sorts of whacked and put on the most entertaining show (before, during and after. Especially after. If you ever see a UW football game and they have their band with them, stay for the fifth quarter). I actually enjoyed going to Wisconsin games more than Michigan games. Yeah, sorry about that.

OH! True story! Once, when we traveled over to Madison to catch a UW-UM game the Badgers were doing so badly (I do not believe they scored anything until the third quarter while Michigan had their third string and water boys on the field) that we began to cheer for them. That must have looked odd, the group of us all decked out in our Maze and Blue yelling “Go Wisconsin!” or “Whooo! Interception! Run it…RUN IT!” or “Doah, watch the ball, WATCH THE…Awwww, damn Michigan scored.”

OH! Another Wisconsin Story (I might have to put this under SAST!). So I was talking to a UM Marching Band member once (and UM has a good solid traditional band that does all this cool great marching stuff and blah-de-blah but they are just not crack baby crazy fun like the UW band. Sorry guys) about the UW band and the Michigan Marching band chick (MMB) got all pouty and disgruntled and started bashing the UW band. Yeah, OK UW is rowdy and UW is insane and UW does some crazy assed shit but that’s their charm and they put on a HELL of a show. Well it turns out that the MMB people went trundling over to the UW band people (OK rule one: Never cross over into enemy territory during a game. Doesn’t everyone know this rule? Well, I suppose if you have a death wish or something then sure, boogie your maze and blue butt over into that sea of red but for the rest of the sane universe, just no) with a bunch of apples for the band “because [they] thought it might be a nice gesture and maybe the WMB might want a snack because everyone was playing really hard and it was hot and…”

Can you guess where this is going? Lemmie see…so you went over with a bucket full of handy projectiles to the opposing team’s Marching Band and now you are all upset because they threw the apples at you? Ummm, duhhh! College students…rabid team supporters…rival marching band members…apples. What else did you THINK was going to happen? I still laugh at that, although I don’t condone chucking apples at people. Apples leave welts!

5. Do/did you play any sports (in school or other)? How long did you play?

Nope. I’ll play softball occasionally (on a work team or something) but the last time I did was about 6 years ago and I love a good friendly pick up sand volley ball game but mostly, nope. I was on the track team in High School my freshman year but I dropped it because they wouldn’t let me run hurdles (the coach’s daughter got to do hurdles because she could run the magic 13 steps between hurdles. You know, not that I’m bitter that we only got one try at it and she probably had some prior coaching and all but-well yeah I am. The bitch managed to beat me in everything I did. I held the 5th grade record for long jump for all of 3 people until SHE got up and beat my record (all of 1 minute old) by one inch. One inch. Bitch. Basketball star, track star, volleyball star, whatever. I went into academic games. Heh!)…

Wait, where was I? Hurdles. Yeah, so I was on the track team for a year and some but they wouldn’t let me run hurdles and made me do the high jump because I was really tall and really tall people do high jump (even though Coach’s daughter was tall too but Nooo-oooo, SHE gets to run hurdles) because we must like that the pits were ass and the damn bar was this inflexible metal triangle thing that would crink your back when you landed on it, which you wind up doing at least once a meet and fuck that shit. I quit.

In all fairness Coach’s daughter was a damned good athlete and she probably was one of those unhappy children whose dad pushed them into sports and blah blah sympathy cakes. Hrrmph, but she still didn’t have to keep doing just a little bit better than I did ALL THE TIME though. bitch.

Comments are closed.