You Shall Not Pass

What do I have to say today? Well, I went to see the Lord of the Rings; Return of the King but I haven’t figured out yet how to code the whole invisi text thing and I don’t want to be giving anything away. Well, I could look it up, I am pretty sure it’s a matter of setting the text to print white on the white background of booniverse but hey guess what? That’s right, hand me a Cheeto cuz that sort of looking up energy aint going to happen. Although, now I’m sorta curious myself as to how one would go about writing invisi text. Damnit, now I’m going to have to look it up.

You know when you see a movie and there is this guy (or gal) in it and you KNOW you know them from somewhere but you can’t remember where and that niggling thought worms its way through your brain until you either go insane or look it up? Yeah, I sorta got the whole invisi text worm thing going on. Lemmie see what I can find. By the way, LOTR:ROTK had one of those guys in it as well. John Noble (I just looked him up because I was reminded that I wanted to know what I have seen him in. I think I might have been…AH! He sort of looks a little like Christopher Lambert. OK, moving on).

Hey, does this work?
Well, hey howdy, look what I figured out!
And now I really don’t feel like writing up some spoilerage stuff. Isn’t that they way it always works? Just see the movie if you are inclined to, it’s got some awesome scenes and BIG HURTLING ROCKS that are always fun to see. Wait wait…BIG HURTLING ROCKS. That’s much better. I amuse myself so easily.

Totally not related but part of the story, I’ll move away from rocks of indeterminate size being flung through space to the pre show festivities. We had a bite to eat at Potbelly’s and I was so less than impressed with the service I thought I was going to have to start smacking serving people. Actually, it was just one and I thought if I smacked her I’d NEVER get out of there so I refrained but DAMN she was the slowest moving human being I have run into including any dead people I may have encountered.

Usually that place is hoppin and they move a line like nobody’s business but yesterday it was like hitting a brick wall after attaining light speed on a bicycle. I ordered soup, which in the normal world of Potbelly service, means the sammich guy hollers “ONE X SOUP” to the soup person and then the soup person gets the soup. As a non sammich orderer, I would then be allowed to cut ahead of the sammich fixing person and pay for my meal. In a world where all is good and right, I’d be out of there before any sammich passed bys even got their wrap, much less want to pay.

Yesterday, I got molasses chick on the cash register. I cut and…waited…for…the…person…ahead…of…me…to…get





Of course I was busy zoning, as I am wont and oft to do if there is going to be a space of time in which my brain isn’t needed immediately, so I did. I came out of my happy zone to discover that we…were…still…waiting…for…the…cashier. WTF?!? Now, the three sammich people I cut in front of are stacked up behind me looking like they might want to smack me around a bit. Hmmm. So I get up (finally) and put my 2 cans of coke with a bag of chips balanced on top of them and say “I have a chicken noodle soup and these things”. Time halts while my sound waves stretch across the distance to her ears. Then they bounce down her auditory canal. The ear drum begins to vibrate rhythmically, transferring my sound waves to the liquid ear goo (technical term) behind the drum. The nerve thingits in the cochlea twitch back and forth and send signals to her brain. Her brain receives the signals and deciphers them as words, which I had said about a month ago.

Ms. 16RPM Woman looks at me, looks at my two cans and bag o’ chips and slowly removes each one from its close proximity to its neighbor, punches in the dollar number on her keybord. She puses, perhaps to make sure the number pad is still on the key bord, then punched in the tens spot. Pause, pennies. ONE COKE CAN DOWN! Whoooo! It was like being in a serving line in hell. After ringing everything up and giving me my change (don’t even ask) she gave me the vapid stare of the sloth people and said “Next please”.

Yeah, and when I ordered chicken noodle soup, I was sort of expecting to get chicken noodle soup. I know it has been a really long time since the sammich goy hollerd down here or since I first said that I had a chicken noodle soup with the cokes and chips but could I get my soup? What kind of soup? Hey, I’m feeling kind of adventurous, let’s think out of the box and go with…chicken noodle soup! GAHHHH! It took me about 10 minutes to get rung up and I only had one person in front of me with a sammich to go.

Maybe I’m being too harsh, it could be that she was approaching the speed of light and having a whole relative thing going on. Great, I think I just made fun of someone who was relativistically impaired.

So yeah, the whole night time Potbelly’s was not such a good experience. We headed out to Stuccis afterwards though, and it totally made up for sloth chick. Mmmm, white Russian fudge and caramel toffee.

…errr, where was I? Heh, I think I slipped momentarily into my happy place there. Toooooffffffeeeeee.

OK then, I’m going to stop blathering and start munching on lunch. Ciao!

Last Year at the booniverse: Oyster stew! Blech. Hmmm, this must be national food ranting day.

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