Slip Sliding Away

Who would have thought that the nasty little snow that was hurling itself all pissey like from the heavens this morning would turn into a gloppy mess of slidy excitement? It sure felt and looked too cold for any real accumulation and the tiny hard snow flake bits had an attitude that said “we know we are not going to amount to much on the ground so we’re snowing extra hard and extra fast just to make our brief contact with you as miserable as possible”. Now, suddenly, those cantankerous bits of icy cold are having a good laugh, all piled on top of each other and making things lickity slick. Driving in this morning there was no snow to speak of. By 9am when I took a peek out the windows I found that …I couldn’t look out the windows. They were covered in snow! How did that happen?

I went out to lunch today with Alessar and I found out how cranky those pesky little balls of icy snowflakes could be. Things is mighty slick around these parts and I took at least one doozie of a header when my sandals found a perfect opportunity to try and get rid of me once and for all. It takes more than a good spill though to make me concede to their demands (which, actually, I’m really not certain of. Do they just want to kill me out of spite or do they want something and are trying to kill me because I have not given into their as of yet undisclosed demands? Anyone speak Birk?), although I am seriously considering getting the stomping boots out. Walking was a trip. Heh, well I guess literally on one instance, but mostly every three steps some part of one of my feet would go slipping a few inches off from where I had originally planted it. My sandals are getting mean in their old age.

The drive home was even more fun. The roads were slickity slick and I had the bug roaring through town at a phenomenal 10 miles an hour. Any faster (and I tried) resulted in some interesting ass swishing by said bug. Ass swishing in a car is no good. I eventually found TheMan (he had started to walk to my place but the e-mail that said “Stay put, it’s ugly out here, I’ll walk to you” never got to me so half way to pick him up BAM there he was) and we slogged our way home. I made him drive since he grew up north of north and he and snow go way back.

Once home I decided to crack out the new snow shovel and clear out the driveway. The shovel is OK, nothing to write home about but it gets the job done. I have no idea why shovels are tending towards these light weight plastic doohickeys that are great for shoving powder around but suck ass for any other kinds of snow. What is up with that? We get maybe 5% powder snow and 95% crap-ass sticky heavy snow and these wimpy shovels are just no good for 95% of the winter. Well maybe they make good seat sleds but they sure don’t cut it as shovels. Our old shovel was cracked so I picked up a new one a bit back (tested it out in the store too to make sure it had some weight behind it) and tonight was it’s maiden voyage.

Most of the snow was powder so, of course, the shovel worked wonders. All shovels do under those conditions. I got a little scrapy with it and the shovel seemed to handle that fairly well (it’s still just a tad light for a good foot shoving scrape) but it also will skip along the top of the snow and not dig down if you aren’t paying attention. It seemed to handle the wet snow fro the end of the driveway so that is good. In fact it handled the wet snow three times. Damn plow came rip roaring through and splurted about an inch of road slush onto my just shoveled driveway apron. Bastard. So I shoveled the new stuff off and just when I was done he came back and sludged up the driveway again. Grrrr.

On the plus side we got a garbage can out of the deal. One of our neighbor’s cans got caught under the plow blade and it managed to break free and launch itself into our snow bank as the truck passed by. Heh! Presents from the plow. Oh, and if you are ever shoveling (or you happen to be a garbage can) when the plow is out and about take cover. Those guys are some crazy assed drivers and don’t care who is in the way; they have a job to do! The plow guy flung plow crap in a giant 10 foot spray like a slushy wake. I guess they mean business when they plow around here.

Last Year at the booniverse: The Origin of Cranberries.

2 Responses to “Slip Sliding Away”

  1. Says:

    Hi there,
    Let’s not deal with the snow concept, after clearing twelve inches of the light and fluffy stuff (who ever saw dark and solid, anyway) we plan on using snow shoes and skiis to make a trip to camp and try a real ‘Finnish’ winter sauna, rolling naked in the snow after a bake in the barrel.
    Got our shots for Aferica, ouch, seven for me and five for Judi, got briefed about water and food hazards, so survival should be a matter of don’ts – eat, drink or bathe, we should return skinny and stinky. Trying to learn Sawalli is a challenge though the song from ‘Lion King’ gives a leg up on the work project.

  2. boo Says:

    Hey snow! See! North of North is doing twice to three times as much shoveling as we are. Told y’all they know snow up there. (Oh say, dark and solid is what is spewed up from snow plows. That and garbage cans).

    Hey dad Q! You guys are learning Sawalli? Cool! Not so cool on the shots. Ow. Snowshoing sounds fun…jumping in the snow arsed naked sounds cold! Heh, I’d rather just snowshoe to a nice cozy fireplace and some hot cocoa.

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