Charting the booniverse

Man, I have started this entry over like a million times. I’m on my fourth try since 8:30 and nothing’s really saying to me “This is the one. Go with this sentence, it’s good!” The process has been more like mining granite with a dull pick axe: write a sentence, edit, edit, edit, get rid of said sentence, write another sentence almost exactly like the first, edit, edit, edit, scrap and so on. I guess I am in a mind set where I should just write to write and worry about being funny and witty (and making sense) later.

I’ve also come to the conclusion that the entries as of late are less than stellar. Some of them are even, dare I say, boring. I about put myself to sleep with yesterday’s snow saga and if it weren’t for the garbage can (which, by the way, has crawled up further onto the bank. I think it has a healthy fear of plows now. Stay tuned for more Trash Can ’04 updates!) I’d have fallen face first onto my keyboard and I lived the day. Even the trash can was a minor side chuckle. I have been going back and rereading some of my old entries (No, I’m not that full of myself. Au Contraire, my poor smooth brain has a tendency to forget who it told what story too and the blog is not immune) and a lot of them are much better than anything I have written in the past month or so. I think I’m in a writing slump.

One thing I know is that I seem to be better at comedy writing than I am SERIOUS WRITING, unless I’m on a rant, which I must say I at least have the vocabulary for. I throw down with the best of them, especially with words. In person I’m not quite so clever with the insults because a good insult takes time to craft. Most live rants, at least my rants, are spontaneous in the moment things and my goal is to get as many profanities in the air in the shortest time possible. You should drive with me sometime. I have a righteous sense of car etiquette and lo unto the asshat who violates the basic rules of road decency (according to boo. Hey, I don’t ask for much, just a little common courtesy when we are all on the same road). I can peel the paint off of a passing car if I’m pissed off enough. I can almost guarantee my kids first words will be “FuckingAssMunch!” or “FuckingShitHeadAsshatFuckDriver” or the ever succinct “FuckingFuckFucker”. Or it will simply be “fucker” and they will sound like parrots when they say it.

Swearing doesn’t a good journal make, however and I prefer to come up with something a little more crafted for my insults when I have the time. Writing? You get lots of time to think when you are writing. Plus, you can go back and edit. Editing is your friend! So besides rants, I have been thinking about where I want my blog to go. Do I want to do a day by day journal thing? I have been doing more of that lately and rereading it is curing me of any feeling of insomnia I might be having. Do I want to do a theme or topic oriented blog? Well, I actually like writing about my day to day things from time to time so if I went the theme way I wouldn’t get a chance to blather. You all know I like to blather. Maybe I am just feeling meh about where I want to go with the booniverse. Maybe I’m just feeling meh and it’s reflected in my so-so writing as of late. Who knows.

I do know that I feel like I should post something and all during the day today I had bits I wanted to write down. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be back in the mood to blather on about little stuff, like the waffle stomping boots. Except there isn’t a whole lot to say about the waffle stomping boots other than the suckers are HEAVY and they have an annoying habit of eating my socks. Every time today when I took them off my poor foot came slinking out sans foot covering and I had to go excavating for said sock somewhere in the darkest nether regions of the boot’s toe. Chilly stuff, especially when ones foot has to wait outside on the slush spattered carpet for a sock to be located and exhumed. Oh, and my Birks have swayed the boots over to the dark side I think: I about killed myself when I changed into my killer (and very much lighter) sandals and took a couple of steps as if I still had the boots on. Whooo-hoo! That was my entertainment for the day.

Eh, at least I’m writing something. Someone said (and I think it may have been the tomato lady over at tomatonation.com) that the key to a successful journal/blog is consistency so I try to write at least more than half of the week. That and the whole adage of “practice make perfect” has got to factor in somewhere, my writing should be getting better the more I write no? Or maybe I’m just getting better at churning out mediocre stuff faster. Hey, that’s a talent…of sorts. Yeah.

Oh bother, I’m going to bed. My mumses and Mr. Paul are getting married tomorrow so I’m sure I’ll have some more fun and interesting things to say about that. Ciao.

Oh wait! Before you go, there have been some new changes to the main page. Notice, first off, there is actually someone linked under “Good Reads”. I e-mailed bitchypoo for permission to link her and she said yes. Whooo! Go take a peek at her stuff, she is damn assed funny. The second new and fun addition is the “On this day in” section. It tells you what I wrote last year so I don’t have to cut and paste links and think of clever thing-it-things to say about the entries. So I’m not. Put a Cheeto in my mouth!


Last Year at the booniverse: My personal sense of history pretty much stops somewhere around the late 1600.

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