The Hitching Post

My mumses and Mr. Paul got married this past Friday. Hee, I slay me! Get it? Hitching post? You know, because I’m going to talk in this post to my blog about my mumses and Mr. Paul getting married and all? Hitching…post…OH COME ON! It was really funny and very clever if I say so myself. Was too!

Anyway, so (as promised, Tob) here’s the low down about the wedding. I had Friday off because the judge did weddings in the morning so we all had to be there at bright and early 9:00 (that’s am, for those of you like me who only really consider there being one 9:00 worth mentioning) in Goodoldboy USA. I kid you not, everybody and their brother was driving around in a pick-em-up truck (I felt awfully cosmopolitan driving around in the bug) and we actually passed the town armory on the way out. Town Armory! This town has an ARMORY!

My mumses and Mr. Paul had asked my sister and I to stand and witness for them and of course, because things like this always happen this way, my sister got the news first. I’m always the last person to know things in my family. I have had many a conversation that went like:

AnyOtherFamilyMember: Aunt Sue had her baby yesterday!

ME: Aunt Sue was pregnant?

AnyOtherFamilyMember: Uhhh, yeah.

ME: But I thought Uncle Joe couldn’t have kids.

AnyOtherFamilyMember: Ummm, Aunt Sue and Uncle Joe have been divorced for three years now…

So naturally, sis gets asked to witness first and she says “YEA! I’m the maid of honor, boo has to be the best man!” Sis is just like that.

We got to the courthouse fifteen minutes before the whole shebang and already excitement was in the air! Or something at least. My sis happened in on a conversation between one lady dressed in a flowing white gown and veil and her good friend. The good friend (there for jury duty?) was all “Oh Hi Madge, I haven’t seen you in ages. What are you doing here?” Hmmm, lets see, long white dress, veil and say, is that her man in a tux? MARDI GRAS!

Not that we were any better, we spent the majority of the time talking about flying hubcaps waiting for the judge to come in. That and waving to the cameras. Yeah, exACTLY the family you want to be waiting around in a court room with on a Friday morning. My sis did tell a great story about having to chase a UPS package all over town in the course of three days and winding up parking in the UPS truck with her tiny car so the driver couldn’t leave with the package. I’ve had days like that. JUST GIVE ME THE PACKAGE! WAHHHHHHH! Then, the judge came in and it was time.

Just for reference, you know…if you happen to be the best man or maid of honor (or, as they officially called them “witnesses”) in a courtroom ceremony, you do get to go beyond the formidable swingy gate thing into the court room proper. Not that WE had any confusion going. Of course not, we were all cool and suave because we are we. I’m sure you wouldn’t either because you are you, but just incase you weren’t you and needed to know such matters, everyone gets to go through the gate. Well, everyone who are(is?) the witnesses and couple. And the judge, although he didn’t so much come through the formidable swingy gate thingie as he did the super secret Judge door (of doom) which was right off the far wall of the courtroom, so I suppose that doesn’t really count. Oh, and I think they take your sense of humor away when you go to judge school. I’m just saying.

ANYWAY, the judge had us all stand up in front and he proceeded to go through the marriage…vows? Marriage ceremony? Whatever it is called he read through it clippity clip with the only notable pause when he asked Mumses and Mr. Paul if they knew of any reason which they should not get married. His pause for the general courtroom question was about a microsecond but the happy couple to be got this big long PAUSE. Maybe it’s a last chance sort of thing? I am happy to report that not only will mumses and Mr. Paul take care of each other in sickness and in health till death do them part, BUT neither of them could come up with a good reason as to why they couldn’t get married. Huzzah!

Afterwards we went back to the mumses and Mr. Paul’s place for coffee, eggs, bacon and coffeecakes. Sis and Mumses stopped to get supplies and couldn’t decide on a cake so they got all three. We ate them all save for about half a cake of leftovers. Uuuurp! We were going to do a family dinner thing the next day so that everyone could be there (Brother-in-law just got a new job so he took off right after the ceremony) so we just hung for a few hours gabbing and generally hanging with the fam.

As Mr. Paul (my new step dad *squee*) said “I think it turned out exactly like what we wanted”


Last Year at teh booniverse: A day of Cheetoness, come back later for anything a year ago.

2 Responses to “The Hitching Post”

  1. dirge Says:

    Pass on my congrats to them 🙂

  2. Tobes Says:

    Thanks, JQ

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