Evil Comes in Many Forms

Barbara Manateeeeeeeee!

You are the OneForMeeeeeeeee.

Sent from UpAbove,

You are the OneILove

-Larry The Cucumber


This is stuck…nay wedged firmly into my brain so I thought I might as well share the pain. It’s like Ringu only aural; Y’all have seven days to find someone else to sing this too and wedge it into their head now. You’re welcome.

We went over to TheRCK and Scott’s place to hang for a little SG-1 action along with the second quasi consecutive Diablo-a-thon of doom. While there, they fired up the Veggie Tales Silly Songs for us to watch because they are just so very wrong. “Because you are his cheeseburger, his only cheeseburger!” that too is stuck in my head, but it is not as catchy as Barbara Manateeeee! There were a couple disturbing points to the whole thing (besides the ability of half the songs to drill deep into ones brain) that I just couldn’t get around. First, the cheeseburger character (who is some sort of gourd looking thing) has no eyes BUT he does have eye wrinkle things where his eyes ought to be and the wrinkles are subtly expressive in a way that is clearly wrong in a very Serlingesque way. Damn creepy. The other point I was floundering with is the cucumber (and all the other characters really) has no arms. This wouldn’t be much of an issue if he wasn’t swinging the stuffed manatee all over the place. How is he doing it? HE HAS NO ARMS! None. Creeeeeepy.

The Great Rescheduled Diablo-a-thon part II went off fairly well. We had everything set up wireless (whooo!) until it was discovered that I had to host. I wanted to try out Andy the druid with the Nightmare crowd and since Andy is the least experienced I had to host. We were channeling through Scott’s machine while using the airport card in TheRCK’s iBook as a hub or what have you and everything worked as long as Scott was hosting. Ah well, maybe next time. We ran with the paladin, amazon and druid team for half the night and then switched out to two paladins and the amazon for the second half of the night. Can’t tell which was a better deal; with the druid the littley-bit monsters are better taken care of but with the paladin squared squad things went down really fast. I guess it was an exercise in crowd control versus cuisanart. Fun fun.

Saturday dawned cold. No colder. Even colder than that. Brrrr. It wouldn’t have been so bad but for the Chinese New Year Parade downtown. Oi! I was wearing my undies, nylons, long undies, a turtleneck, two pairs of socks, gloves, my toasty hat and my uniform and I was sort of warmish after a fashion. Well, I was never cold but I certainly wasn’t toasty. I might could have added another layer and been alright I think, but halfway through the parade I lost track of my hat and found that my head, although chilly, wasn’t freezing solid and falling off. I guess all the walking and short stint of being under the lion got me warmed up.

The route was longer than last year, which was longer than the year before, which was longer than the year before that. I think every time we do this thing one or two more merchants get wind of it and think “Cool! I gotta get me some of that action next year” so the next year there is one more place to go. Go? What am I talking about? Heh. I just realized that I never did explain the whole gig. Basically, merchants have Gung Bao (little red enveloped with money in them) which they give to the lion in exchange for a blessing on their shop. It brings good luck, or so the Chinese believe. So every year we get together and tool around the streets and stop every so often to bless a merchant shop.

This year I did one stint as the lion butt and discovered two things; I am WAY way way way way out of shape and a hat just really doesn’t work well at all for the tail. I had to give my hat up to one of the seniors and go without. I also got to drum for the first time EVER and it was…an experience. I’m what you might call a good follower, mostly. I can’t really keep a good beat but I can follow like a mad thing as long as I have a script. Scenerio? I’m good. Basic beats? Right there. Playing with Mr. Chun? Not so much. He is one of the old school dancers who has gone on to do bigger and better things but still comes out once a year to drum at the parade. He can drum! What he drums I have no clue and following him is a bitch if you aren’t drummatically inclined (like that? My new word). I did…OK. More or less. Kinda. Well, I kept some sort of beat that was more or less what he was playing for the most part. Eh, the experience was pretty cool even if I was less than stellar in my first outing as a drummer. It can only get better!

After that, we hit the traveler game and got some pizzas for the munching. TheRCK can’t eat tomato so pizza is an interesting affair. I am learning to appreciate alternative sauce options and liking them. Saturday’s pizza had Greek sauce, chicken and mushrooms which would have been most tasty if there wasn’t so much sauce and if the pizza was a little more cooked. We also got a dessert pizza: Apples, apple gooey cinnamon sauce and frosting. Good, yet very strange. Adventures in pizza!

Sunday we woke up late but made it to church anyway (and on time too). I had a hankering to go to church despite the lateness of waking (which I don’t much understand seeings as we got to bed at 9 and promptly passed out. “Mmmm, babe, you are looking hot and sexy tonighzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”) which meant we ran around like headless chickens trying to get ready. The service was…interesting. The Assistant Pastor ran things and was so far off script I was hopelessly lost for most of the service. I’m used to things being a certain way every time and even with that I tend to get lost if I’m not paying close attention. Yesterday, even TheMan had to give up and go with the flow because things just weren’t where they were supposed to be. I’m all for a little spontaneity here and there, heck spice up the sermon! Do a funky reading, whatever but don’t start messing with the offering prayer or benediction. You start with that kind of futzing and everything feels a little off.

I did get to witness a weird Luthern “Invasion of the Body Snatcher” kind of thing though. They had this green insert thingie which had just the words for the “Hymn for Superbowl Sunday” or some messed up wackiness like that (see? I told you it was a weird service) but no music. None. Just words on a green page. Maybe it was the green because we got to it and the piano guy played through about a verse (because there was no music) and then the whole congregation started up singing. In tune. With the same melody as the piano despite there being No Musical Notes or Cues on the Whole Freeking Page. For all three verses everyone sang well and strong and on key with all the right pauses after only having listened to the piano for an extended intro. Freeeee-kie.

After the fact when I asked TheMan how the heck they all managed to pull that bit of weirdness off, he told me that the tune was hijacked from one of the old standard hymns. I was kind of relieved because for a moment I was living the Twilight Zone.

We would have gone to the Sunday game, except the host came down with the death plague so we had an afternoon suddenly free. Whooo. Naturally, seeings as Dirge and Shar let us appropriate the sock computer for our EverQuest needs, we headed out to the local computer place and got us some EQ crack. Oh, and software stuff for taxes (which are, as I understand it, done AND we are getting some good cashola back. Man, I NEVER get cash back. Well, OK that’s sort of a lie. Usually I get about $100 from the Feds and then turn around and give 75% of that to the state. So I guess I technically get about $25 back net. ParTAY). But the EQ!

Once home I boogied upstairs and proceeded to spend the next hour installing EQ on the PC ASAP (FYI. Heh, I thought it needed another acronym there). It locked up on me twice for no apparent reason and once all was said and done, I discovered that the PC isn’t *quite* up to specs. EQ needs 256 RAM, the PC is running 128. Eeeeeeeeaahhhhhh….everything’s a tad sssssssllllllllloooooooooooooowwwwwww. You could fix a good meal while zoning but you can play (after everything is turned off, shut up or shut down). I tried to make a character but all the names and variations of names that I wanted came back rejected (either taken or did not pass filter muster) so I now have a frog paladin names Jhake. Yup, original. I’m going to delete poor Jhake the frog and recreate. I didn’t get anywhere with him anyhow because I thought TheMan ought to get acclimatized to the game. After all, I’ve played before and he hasn’t.

I sat by and held his hand for about an hour or so (and really, you do need to hold someone’s hand through the beginning stages because the rules book sucks giant moose wang. No dis on TheMan’s gaming intellect here, there just isn’t a whole lot of information at all and the game has a LOT of details. They just didn’t bother coming up with a coherent how to guide to explain them. What do you expect from the Cheeto “Macs are too much effort” designers? Pffft, I guess a comprehensive guide is also too much effort) until he was comfortable with going here and there. After that, I decided to go elsewhere and read because there is nothing more annoying than someone sitting over your shoulder going “Ooo! Ooo! Skeleton on your 6. No 6:00. Behind you…Turn around! There there there!”. I figured TheMan should have a little him time alone with the game without his “I wanna play too!” wife breathing down his neck.

Three hours later I poked my head back upstairs wondering what had become of my husband. *sniff* I’ve become an EQ widow already! Well, at least until next week when we (hopefully) get the other system up and running. Hee. We are looking forward to joining up with Shar and Dirge and having some good playing sessions (EQ is a better game with a group). Great, first Diablo II and now EQ! Ooo, poetry there.

I’m going in search of coffee. Remember the book that I started reading while TheMan was getting used to puttering around in EQ? Finished it at 2am this morning. Oooooo my HEAD!

Last Year at the booniverse: Again with the Cheetoy lack of entry thing. I tell you, me and the EQ developers…ALL about the lazy.

2 Responses to “Evil Comes in Many Forms”

  1. Tobes Says:

    Aren’t “Silly Songs with Larry” just the best?

  2. momq Says:

    oooh, oooh. aren’t vegetales the best!

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