Five Memes

The production side of my work area. Ummm…moving on then, shall we? Yes, lets *gives the table a worried eyeballing*

There a “five things to expound on” meme floating around and since LunarGeography was nice enough to tag me, ‘ll be nice enough to do it. Besides, it’s a cop out for actually posting a post today cuz I’m saving the memes!

Favorite books I wonder if this is favorite books in general, which would absolutely be Sci-Fi, or specific favorite books which would start off with David Brin’s Startide Rising, branch off a little into Terry Pratchett’s Guards series, maybe throw in some Mercy books by Patty Briggs. If I’m feeling particularly silly, there’s no shame in owning Green Eggs and Ham. Or reading it. Again.

Least favorite books: I was never fond of plays. I like a setting, some place description, some feelings from the main characters (and yeah, you are supposed to get that from the words blah blah put a literary Cheeto in my mouth) which I’ve never really been able to do reading. Mind you I love seeing plays because the designers have put all the words that I want from the play into set, costume and lighting visuals (props too) and the actors bring the characters to life more than I can reading a play.

I also run hot and cold on mysteries. I went through Agatha Christie like wild fire for a bit and then…eh. Same with Lilian Jackson Braun. Oh, I also had an Ellery Queen streak in there so maybe I’ll come around to mysteries again but for now? Meh.

The worst book ever that I read and wound up yelling at while simultaneously throwing across the room was Anne McCaffrey’s All The Weyrs of Pern. That MoFo really should have been edited before published. Heavily edited. With a giant heavy duty shredder. I mean…indefatigable? She actually used inde..inda…whatever as a word meaning “unflagging vitality” and…who the hell uses these words? I only know what that word means because I ran into it one other time and it was the name of a ship in the Royal British Navy. The Brits are always naming their ships cumbersome things but I looked it up anyway just to know what the word meant. Anne McCaffrey probably just thesaurused unflagging vitality and saw inefatiwhateverable and said “Oooo! There’s a nickle word! I’ll use that.” Never mind that every other word up to that one had been two syllables, three on a tricky day. Oh no. Inefatiguable. I can’t even spell it. She also botched a couple pretty big established rules in HER OWN WORLD so piss on her and her damned money making book. Or piss on her boy or whatever. PISS!

Meeting new people: I like meeting new people but not so much on my own. New people are cool if I’m with a bunch of my peeps and say! New person, Hello! But if I’m on my own meeting a bunch of new people I feel really awkward and all, “Umm…hi. And…did I say hi? I did? Ummm…right then. Well…”

Places you’d like to visit: Oh The Places I’ll Go? First I want to visit every single state in the Union. I’m doing pretty good so far, I think I have 13 or so left. On a broader scope, I’d totally love to take a world tour, maybe starting out in Australia, hit New Zealand then Japan. Maybe ootch over into China and then traipse across Russia (11? That’s ridiculous, that’s not even funny!). I’d visit England and Germany for sure and probably pick up some other European countries. I’d love to see the midnight sun and since I’ve already gone to Alaska this means I’d have to trek to Sweden. Awwwwww, if I gotta. I should totally time my world tour so that I hit specific spots at specific times, like China during New Years, Germany at Oktoberfest, Brazil at Carnival. I might even look up some countries like lots of places in Africa. What’s good to see on the dark continent? I DON’T KNOW! I’m totally obliv about Africa! I’d probably go see things too, like the Great Wall (during New Year? Hmmm!) The pyramids (AFRICA!) and those Easter Island statue guys. I’d also like to see some of those temples in the middle east where the giant statues of Buddha were carved into the rock and 50 feet tall…if they still exist. Stonehenge and those Mexican pyramid deelies would be cool. Man, I’m going to have to make a list or something.

Biggest cooking mistake: O wow (the expression). I can think of at least three that stand out prominently in my fairly industrious cooking career, starting out waaaaaay back in the day when I was 12 or so…perhaps 10 on a cold wintry day. I was making myself some hot apple cider on the stove (this was back before the days of microwaves even, when we had to set the pterodactyl blubber on fire just to heat our caves) but it was taking for-EV-er. I got tired of waiting and thought I’d catch some sledding while the pot warmed up. So I did. An hour later my mother stuck her head out the window in a cloud of blue black smoke and hollered “Booniverse Middlename B! Get back in this house RIGHT! NOW!” It was a full namer stupid too because I had managed to boil all the liquid out of the pot leaving a dark black burbling tar mess of sludge. We had to have the pot sand blasted to get all the gunk out.

Number two, and progressing in time, was the baking powder muffins. I made tasty, tasty muffins for breakfast one day home from college save that my mother’s baking powder got lumpy. I figured that the lumps would cook out like they had always done but I figured wrong. The worst part was that they were tasty, tasty muffins until you bit into a solid lump of baking powder. Lesson learned: Always mush up your baking powder less it ball up on you and make stealth disgusting out of your tasty, tasty treats. Yuk.

Lastly I relate to you the tale of the two ton cinnamon rolls. These were the years of being off on my own…or somewhat so as I had an apartment mate. One day I decided to make cinnamon rolls because I hadn’t quite gotten the recipe down to the point where I was proud of my cinnamon rollmanship. I mixed, I kneaded, I set the dough off to rise in a warm environment and…it didn’t get very poofy. I let it rise a little more until I figured it was going to do all that it had done. So I popped the poof (which wasn’t exactly as poofy as, say, bread), rolled them out and set them to rise again. Again they did a pretty piss poor job of rising, despite being left double time again for maximum poof, so I tossed them in the oven to bake. What came out was a kinda eh tasting cinnamon thing that weighed about as much as a whole side of beef. Seriously, they were the densest thing I’d ever made. They weren’t very tasty either so my housemate and I decided we’d get more fun throwing them out the third floor window (a lot of stuff suffered that fate, actually) at the geese than we would eating them. Geese like bread right? We were sure the cinnamon things would die a noble goose eaten death. Except that when the rolls came hurtling down at the geese and smack bounced on the sidewalk, the whole flock took off in honking alarm and never came back.

2008: Of course if I were the Pope I could say it was St. Patty’s day today and it totally would be. Man, it’s good to be the pope.

2007: JSFR: Mikawaya Mochi (vanilla)

2006: However, it was too cold to go pantsless, so the inevitable had to happen. The pants, they had to go on.

2005: No sixth thing for you, sorry.

2004: Welcome back machine! There’s nothing a good hard drive wipe can’t cure. Sorta.

2003: This is what finally got me out of the house and on my way to visit with my peeps because we had NO BEER!

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