Fool Me Once

Greeting’s y’all…welcome to April! In fact, welcome to the first of April and jokes and gags and all that good stuff. Already the weather is in on the pranksterishness of the day what with the COLD and the WIND and the whipping RIGHT THROUGH MY JACKET as if I were walking around nude. Well, there’s an image. Anyway, as a side note (and not a fool) I missed my mumses birthday Tuesday so a big happy birthday to her. Go on and leave her any belated birthday wishes in the comments if you want, she actually reads this blog. At least the short parts. 😛

Also in line with April Foolishness, I present you with a list of 10 things that may or may not be true about your friendly neighborhood boo. I’ll let you stew about them for a day and then tell you what was a LIE and what was actually true.

Dr. Bashir: Of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren’t?

Garak: My dear Doctor, they’re all true…

Dr. Bashir: Even the lies?

Garak: Especially the lies.

-Star Trek: Deep Space 9

1 I have been gaming for more than half my life.

2 I collect stamps.

3 I was a brownie way back when.

4 I never learned to drive a stick shift.

5 I hate beef.

6 I have a knack for killing off plants.

7 I averaged more than 1 accident a year with my first truck.

8 I own over 200 stuffed and figurine elephants.

9 I have never traveled outside my home state.

10 I am the Smithee’s Promotions Ninja

So there you go. I don’t know if you can find them all in the blog archives or not (mayyyyybe yes?) but I do know at least some of the answers are there. No, I’m not telling you which ones…sheesh! ANYWAY, tune in tomorrow and all will be revealed. By the way, Garak was THE coolest DS9 character…at least until I stopped watching the series.

Right then. Onto bigger and better things. I promised all you non-EQ people that I would get back to socks and lucky for you folks, I have some more socks goodness to relate. I tend to buy things, like socks, in batches so that I’ll have what I need and then some. Unfortunately, with the socks I haven’t been able to buy the exact same kind of sock whenever I have been out sock shopping (fuckers) so while I have half a drawer full of the same style of sock there are about four different kinds. I have the original plain white footie socks, the “I can’t find plain white footie socks anywhere because the industry has gone to damn colored toe and heel” socks, the “I inherited these colored toe/heel socks but they have a ribbed ankle band and are twice as thick as any four pairs of socks I own” socks and lastly the “OK fine, I’ll get the damed colored toe/footie socks since I have given up trying to find plain white socks and WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THE GREEN STRIPE ACROSS THE TOE?” socks.

This makes me incredibly cranky come wash day because all socks have to be folded with their like kind of sock which means I have to make 4 individual piles of socks when I fold. You can never pull out two matching socks in a row, it’s a laundry law. Plus there are ALWAYS 3 or 4 extra singletons left over since there are 4 different types and I can never lose both of one type, or manage to get both of one type in the same wash load and I HATE singleton socks. They sit around and do nothing but take up drawer space, and if you ever (so help you god) decide to throw away one of those singletons, immediately the next day or wash load the other one will show up. You can see why I have issues with socks, they are insidious evil things and if I could go without I would so be there.

ANYWAY…much to my joy the other day, I wore a hole in one of my socks. My sock and undie motto is: Once it has a hole, out it goes. Of course it has got to be dirty (I have a thing about throwing away clean clothing; it just feels wrong. Here you are spending the effort to clean whatever it is and yet all that effort is wasted once you toss the critter) and I reserve the right to ignore any holes that happen to be in my favorite undies (but not socks. I can not wear socks with holes because it just feels oogie to have part of your foot hanging out while the rest is in the sock. Yetch!) until they really, really need to be retired.

On Sunday, not only did I start the whittleing process by throwing away the sock that had started to unravel, (Whooo! And there was much rejoicing) but the next day another sock had a blow out. Two for two! Even better, the day after I had a third blow out and all with the same kind of sock (the original colorless footie) which means I am getting closer to my dream of a drawer of entirely matching socks! Such a drawer would eliminate the need to sort the damn socks into piles of kinds of socks and I could go years doing laundry and willy nilly grabbing sock pairs and mating them without having to worry about if they matched or not. Sock utopia.

I am sad to report, though, that yesterday, while wearing yet another pair of colorless footies, neither sock showed any signs of wear. Someday I shall have the perfect sock drawer, but not today.

Yes, I know I am a sock freak.

Yesterday, despite the lack of sock deterioration, we did get some needed things done. TheMan and I stopped by the tire place with the punctured spare (which is in fact, actually one of the original tires of the truck that I hadn’t gotten fixed yet…for several years) and got a brand new happy not flat tire. Shiny! We also learned that my truck tires are Canadian (eh?) which was a surprise to me. Whoda thunk that there was a difference, a Ford is a Ford right? Well, no, I guess not. Does this mean that if my tires were American I could have gotten another couple of years out of them? You know, once you adjusted the conversion rate from Canadian tires to American tires. Hee! At least I can rest easy about my tire’s disposition which should be much more polite than their American counterparts. Hee!!!

Ummm…yeah. OK, moving on.

Tonight is Tai Chi night at the dojo and more importantly, TheMan’s first class. YAY! I hope he likes it, I know I’m looking forward to a little dojo action today. I even fit (sort of) into my KFu pants still. Whoot! Tune in tomorrow, or maybe Saturday if there is indeed a Friday five and I’ll let you know how things went. I might have lots of stuff to report if the bottle tree comes in because we have bottling plans for the blueberry wine once the tree arrives. Hooo!

Last Year at the booniverse: A Little Quiz Action.

One Response to “Fool Me Once”

  1. momq Says:

    So, M , Happy birthday! Trust your day was sunny and warm. Pease and Joy, JQ

Leave a Reply