Frequently Asked Plork

Ahhh, meh. No Friday Five today. There is a note on the site from the 16th (which was last Friday! Hey!) that says the month of April will be busy which implies that there will be a sporadicness of Fives . Would it be snarky of me to say that I wonder how April will be any different from March and February? Yeah, it would I suppose. It means I’m going to have to have to fire up the old plork and actually think of either some questions or something else for today. Ugh!

I’d do a FAQ but no one ever asks me any questions, really, so there ya go. Oh wait…correction there, I can do this, watch:


Whew, that was difficult! You do not know how long I toiled over that, racking my brain for just the right answers. I’m glad it’s done, I’d really hate to have to do that all over again. Ugh! I need a nap.


But seriously, if any of you do have any questions, like “Boo, what the HELL is plork?” feel free to either leave them in the comments or even e-mail me. The addie is pretty simple [nameofthissite] Of course, you are going to have to do a little thinking because [nameofthissite] is just going to bounce right back at ya (but if it doesn’t, that would be the coolest addie no?). I trust y’all are smart readers and I’m thinking you spammers are dumb readers and thus my perfect world is a happy one.

Your first side note of the day: Plork comes from two different zombie conversations (that would be conversations about zombies, not with zombies), the first involving zombie unionizers and protest marches which went sort of like this:

ZOMBIE UNION LEADER: What do we want?
ZOMBIE UNION LEADER: When do we want them?

And the second was the Zombie campaign slogan: Plork, the other gray meat.


Oooo! I have some things that have gone on that I can tell you about. I spotted cows last night! Mooo! I even put heads on them. Now all I have to do is wheedle DQ into making legs and maybe even putting them on and the cows will be mostly done. I need to find the damned cow bells though. They were the first cow things we bought and they were on the dresser for the longest damned time, and them I moved them to the big box, I think, because the other cow stuff was in the box. But I moved the stuff out of the box and theoretically the cow bells should have gone with the stuff but they are not with the stuff and thus, gone. I don’t want to have to buy new cowbells because you KNOW as soon as I do the other ones will show up no later than the next day but if I don’t I’ll never find the first bells. Stuuuuupid cows.

I did make the Smithee GORP up. Mmmm. I’ll even let you in on the super secret recipe: 2 bags of Easter pastel peanut M&Ms (I think it’s the one pound size, it’s the about 10 inch by about 4 inch package, whatever that is), one Hillers packaged yogurt raisins, 1/4 of the giant Peperage farms pretzel fish box, and maybe a third of the most generic bagged Fruit Loops you can find. I highly recommend the Quaker Fruity-ohs because they had the worst quality control I have ever seen in a breakfast cereal. There were multi colored Ohs from where they changed the run color (I can’t really tell if there is a difference in flavor between green and orange) and didn’t bother to purge the extruder between batches. They were perfect. If you happen to leave the whole bucket in the back of the bug for the entire work day and then take off to Columbus, the GORP gets even weirder. The yogurt coating boils and then gloms on to everything creating “Gorpuscles” which are rather quite tasty units of GORP. Looks rather bizarre though.

I understand GORP to stand for Gobs Of Raisins and Peanuts and I basically understand it to be, in theory, a sort of trail mix like thing. Just so you know.

I am attempting The Great Experiment part Two. If you remember from last time, I got a tea garden set that was supposed to grow tea in these little cups whereupon you could harvest your little tea leave and drink from the fruits of your cups. All I managed to grow was mold so I decided it was a colossal failure, or at least as colossal as two diminutive cups could get and dumped the project. Well, yesterday we got these mysterious packages from one of the vendors and in said package was a watering can with seeds. Since I am a sucker, and since the seeds are marigolds and, I hope, hardier than the tea was, I have decided to take up the challenge again. Consider today DAY 1 of the Great Watering Can experiment. So far the seeds are planted and the soil is wet. Not much to report for day one.

Is there any money in mold farming?

Well, that about sums things up. I’m still actively thinking about the Smithee pics in relation to a blog entry. Of course I’m also actively thinking of a nice long comfy nap and right now, nap is winning. Fortunately, I’ll most certainly be able to do both.

Remember that tomorrow is the Smithee Awards: 7:00pm in 1800 CHEM building. Come for the cows!

Last Year at the booniverse: Don’t push me too hard, my head may just snap off and roll under the desk. Then how am I going to find it? I’d yell directions to my hands but my head has the ears. Ah well.

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