Bed Bath and Beyond!

Wow! Can I say anything more about this store other than wow? Maybe Wow or WOW or a resounding Freekin Wow! But not much else.

No really. Bed Bath and Beyond rocks. It more than rocks, it rocks major coolness. Way. TheMan and I went there yesterday for light pens, which they didn’t have (sadness) BUT on the way in they had a display of wooden silverware inserts. You know how long I have been looking for the damn wooden insert display? I got a nice multi compartment one while doing a big “shopping for my new condo” spree with the sis two years ago and we found this display of all sorts of wooden inserts in every size available. Big, small, long, multi, single, natural, stained, you name it, it was on this display. So after picking up the multi insert and one single insert, I decided I needed to have a couple other single inserts so I went back.

They weren’t there. Anywhere. In the whole store. AND IT WAS THE SAME TRIP! It wasn’t like I bought the stuff, went home and a day/week/month later decided to go back, no it was the same freeking shopping trip; I hadn’t even left the store between the time I grabbed the first inserts and the time I decided I needed more. The sis and I walked that store three times and still nothing. It was like some twilight zone episode (albeit more benign than most of them since we didn’t get unstuck in time or thrown into another civilization’s timeline). Gone in 20 minutes. Ever since then I have been keeping an eye out for the things and until last night, no such luck.

But last night, there they were, in the exact same place I first saw them (which is right as you come in the door, not say in a corner tucked away where you might miss them if you were walking around the store. Three times) like they had never been missing for two years. I think I either squealed with delight or pointed my finger and said in a enthusiastic yet firm manner “HA!” but we went right to the display and picked up another insert. Of course behind the inserts, and this is where Bed Bath and beyond works their insidious magic, were canisters for holding flour, sugar, whatnot. My staples are all in tuppers and the tuppers are getting that old grungy sticky feel to them that tuppers get after 10 or so years of holding flour and whatnot. So TheMan and I ooo’hed and ahh’ed and decided to get some of those as well.

BUT WAIT! It suddenly hit me, this was something we could put on a wedding registry! We were going to register at Bed Bath and Beyond anyway (I am trying to say that as many times as I can. Bed, Bath and Beyond! Say it with a Buzz Lightyear emphasis, it’s really funny. Bed! Bath! and BEYOND!) so TheMan went to find out the scoop and I went to find the light pens. No light pens but after about ten minutes with the registry consultant I really didn’t much care. Well, OK it ruined my whole gift idea for the twins which sucked, but I got light brite pens, which still glow and they will never know that they missed out on the awesome light pens of doom that Bed, Bath and Beyond! DIDN]T HAVE ANYMORE. Hrrrmph. But anyways, the consultant was really cool.

TheMan and I, being more summer chickens in the seasons of life as it were, already have a majority of the stuff that newly fianced couples might need. Heh, otherwise how would we have been living for the past ten years? If you have been out of college for more than 4 years and you are not married or planning to be married soon you start to collect stuff. Pots? I got ’em. In spades. I have enough pots for two maybe three households. People, I have 4 stock pots! Who has 4 stock pots? (well, there ARE 4 burners on a stove usually) For the longest time the biggest stock pot lived on top of a burner on my stove because there was no room for it in my cupboards (and I nest like a pack of rats so it’s not lack of organization). I have pots. I have pots and TheMan has pots, although he just comes with your basic set: a stock pot, a s’getti boiling pot, a large soup pot (the size that the can and water fits into and there is still half the pot to go) a small soup pot (the careful when you stir it size), small frying pan and large frying pan. So now we have more than “more than enough” pots so them we don’t need.

Pans? I have more pans than I have pots. At one point in time I actually owned 8 little loaflet pans. 8?!? You cant even fit 8 loaflet pans on one rack in the oven! (hee, that’s why there are 2 racks!) I did give the sis 4 of the loaflet pans but still 8? I’ll have to say, TheMan comes with one cookie sheet (house total of 5 now. Shut up, I’m a kitchen things freak OK?) and no other baking gadgets but with my horde we don’t need any more. Plates, cups, bowls, silverware, flatware, knives we don’t need em. And that’s when gift registering gets fun.

The consultant lady, who must have thought we were total freaks (but amusing freaks) was actually pretty excited to help us because of our previously acquired collection of stuff. Most couples have to put regular dishes, pots, pans etc. on the list but since we had all that stuff, we got to tool around and put a lot of play things on the list. Talk about your fun! Espresso machine? Oh yeah, put that sucker on the list. Drapes? Why not! Gigantic wooden cutting boards? Hell yeah! Oh look at this incredibly tacky trivet babe, HOW are we going to live without it? Do we need a…errr…whatever this thing is exactly? Heh. It’s fun to indulge in the idea that someone might actually buy the incredibly cute tea pot on the list and maybe by December that adorable tea pot of perfect tea pot proportions will be happily burbling away on my stove while TheMan and I entertain with the new Asian style sushi set that matches said tea pot of loveliness. Then again, it was equally as fun laughing at the thought of putting the worlds tackiest table cloth on the list because, well just because. We didn’t but we had a grand time.

We spent two and a half hours wandering the store shooting this gun thing at stuff so that it would add it to the registry. During that time the consultant came by and offered us snacks. Snacks! We were both boggled at that idea. Wow, snacks. Yes please! So from drapes, where she caught up to us to offer the snacks, onward we happily sipped diet cokes and munched on Doritoes (or Cheezeits if you happened to be TheMan) while deciding how many blankets we ought to get for the futons (in case we have guests over in winter) or what picture frames we should put on the list. We then took our list o’ stuff back and she went through and checked to make sure we hadn’t gone completely bonker-nuts about anything (like ordering 1400 napkins. We didn’t but she was still checking to see if things were kosher). The whole registering at Bed, Bath and Beyond (haven’t said that for a few paragraphs…I’m lapsing) was the best thing so far about the wedding plans. Crazy? Not really. If you are planning on getting married I highly recommend you go register at Bed, Bath and Beyond. They are very cool and they have the worlds most perfect tea pot there too!

In conclusion I’ll just leave you with these two thoughts. While talking about an accident prone yet incredibly curious and scientific experiment minded friend of ours we decided that not only would it be a good idea to sit him at a table with either no candles or candles and asbestos origami dudes but maybe in a chair with restraints so he couldn’t reach said origami dudes. That lead to thinking that we might also need to seat said friend someplace with food friendly yet safety enhanced table settings which lead to this thought: Will we have to then pick out a spork pattern for our registry? Hee! A spork pattern! Damn, that cracks me up. Spork pattern! That’s right up there with cBLAMberries. Spork pattern (chucklesnort!).

And lastly (I swear!) in homage to the absolutely wonderful tea pot of happiness:

I am a tea pot
Short and stout!
Here is my handle
Here is my spout!

I sang that once sotto voice as an aside while talking about the worlds cutest tea pot and it stuck in the consultant’s head. Heh, I’m evil. Now I give it to you.

One Response to “Bed Bath and Beyond!”

  1. TheMan Says:

    Hey! I’ve got a set of glass mixing bowls too!

    And the 12 gallon stockpot of DOOM, but that’s mostly for wine making… Although I suppose I could do a batch of chili big enough to feed a small army…