I’d Be Really Sad If I Came By and Found a Fat Dead Chipmunk

I have a new critter thing going on. The former critter thing was to try and get squirrels to come to me for treats from anywhere within a 20 or 30 foot radius. Or at least anywhere where the “tsch-chkchkchk” squirrel patter could be heard by furry ears. They used to come a-running from really, really far away even when I had nothing. Then I took to carrying a bag of pretzels gone stale in the Smithee bag so I’d actually have something when I made the squirrel noises. Now the furry fuckers won’t even give me the time of day. I think the Smithee bag scares them.

Recently I’ve been lunching over at TheMan’s place since they are tearing down our Tea room and rebuilding it better, faster, stronger. They considerately gave us a Tea Room in Exile, but it is located at almost the furthest most spot from where I work. I think it’d have to be two more floors up to be in the absolute furthest spot you can be from my office and still be in the buildings but still…ain’t going there. It’s not just the distance, they’ve co-opted a classroom for the exiled break room and I feel like I’m attending Coffee 101 whenever I’m over there (twice so far, once to check it out, once to steal a sleeve of coffee cups so I don’t ever have to go back ever again all summer). There will be a test! So across the street it is, which doesn’t make that much more sense save I don’t feel like I have to bring a blue book to lunch.

On the way, there is a rusty old pipe thing, which may have been a lamp post, sitting in the rock bed. It’s close enough to the window well that the chipmunk that lives in the window well sometimes scurries into the pipe to hide when I come over. Chipmunks are fear on meth and a lot of fun to watch. Squirrels pretty much don’t care what’s going on for the most part. Heck, sometimes (if you aren’t wearing the bright yellow Smithee bag) you can get them to come right up to you and take a pretzel out of your hand but not chipmunks. It’s lucky if you even see the little buggers and when you do they are flat out running for the nearest hidey hole. Which, in this case, happens to be a pipe thing which may have been a lamp post. The past couple days, whenever I see speedy the chipmunk, I’ve been leaving a pretzel twist at either end of the pipe. When I get done with lunch, there’s no evidence of either pretzel. Today I put the usual two down, and then when TheMan and I came out to go to the post office, speedy McCrazy chipmunk was sitting on the window ledge munching on one of the pretzels.

I set out two more twists for him despite TheMan reservations. The twists are about half as tall as the chipmunk and TheMan thinks 4 is just too many. I think the little critter can handle them, but I also think that it’d be very sad if I walked by one day and there was a dead, fat chipmunk lying there with a half chewed treat in his cold, dead, hands. He’d be a happy dead chipmunk tho, they certainly like the pretzels.

2008: I’ve done no gardening at all this week so far because I’ve been suffering from malaise.

2007: Here are my six foot sunflowers which aren’t yet six feet and being munched on. Damned bug munching things.

2006: I had the chance to stop by the condo and snagged some crazy rosebush cuttings with which I’m hoping to propagate little crazy rosebushlets.

2005: Taking a break from posting.

2004: For two years apparently.

2003: Tonight is TheMan’s long time bestest bud from the 5th grade’s birthday and we are all going over to the Real Seafood Company so Rob can get Lobster.

2 Responses to “I’d Be Really Sad If I Came By and Found a Fat Dead Chipmunk”

  1. TeacherPatti Says:

    Ooooh! Let’s meet for lunch one day! We can feed critters!

  2. Boo Says:

    You got the time, I have the stale pretzels!

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