Vanity

Well look at that, me with a personalized plate. Isn’t that a sign of the apocalypse or something because me with one of them hoity toity “special” plates all hanging out on the truck. What has this world come to?

Alright, really? I dig personalized plates because they are kinda fun to puzzle out or cute or whatever. Take the small sized truck we saw all decked out with the low and the wheels and the two inch clearance thing going on with the plate IT FELL. Ordinarily, I’d be all “WTF man, who does that shit to a TRUCK?!?? Why didn’t they go and get themselves a Camaro or something because no matter how low they go, that truck is never going to be a sports car MmmmKay?”. Lowering a truck is one of the stupidest things you can do to a vehicle (yes, I am opinionated) but lowering a truck and then getting plates that say IT FELL justifies it all. Hee! Yes, sometimes things do not make much sense in the booniverse but it’s pretty much guaranteed to be OK in my book if it makes me laugh. That plate had me rolling.

Other times you look at a plate and think “Huh?”. And then you look at it again, look at it sideways, say it out loud until you either decide the owner is a nut job (of COURSE it isn’t because you don’t have the “in” knowledge to figure it out. Never that! Heh…errr…moving on) or you go “Ohhhhhhhh! Hee, I get it!” It took me about ten minutes (in rush hour traffic…hey, I was bored) to figure out BKSWRN was a triathelete. I was preeningly proud to have figured that one out. In short, personalized plates amuse me more often than not so I’m all for them. Except I never got one because I wanted to have a really good plate that people would go “Heh, clever” and, well, I have continually drawn a huge gaping blank in the clever plate department. I’ve only ever been able to come up with one semi mediocre OK plate idea, maybe, but it’s nothing I’d ever want to have to pay for in order to proudly emblazon on my vehicle and show people how clever and witty I am.

Incidentally, since TheMan got his personalized plate (which is really funny, one of those pun like ones) I have been obsessed with personalized plates on bugs. What up that?!?

This whole adventure began yesterday at the Secretary of State. Lemmie take a(nother) short digression here to say that my experience was THE BOMB (hey, that would fit) and far better than I had ever hoped it could be. First off, I pulled number 55 while they were serving number 10. Eh on the placement but I was only there an hour (I timed it. Literally, I had a stopwatch in my little alien mushroom man bag so I got it out and “click”. Yes, yes, freak. Moving on) before my number was queued up. That’s what, a minute and twenty seconds per transaction? Rock! The hour wait wasn’t so grand, although I had a book and didn’t much notice the sitting around happening, but 45 people served in that hour? Sheeeeee-yit! They wuz bustin all sorts of ass behind the counters. After hauling much customer service booty and arriving in a very timely manner at the magic 55, I got to the counter and lo! I wasn’t even given any hassle about not having the super special seccy of state renewal papers. AND, for my bonus round, I was not fined the new and improved “get your shit together or else” fine despite having expired plates for eight months. Whoot babE!

The lady then asked me if we used the truck for contract work, to which I said that we hardly used the truck at all (eight months. I’m just sayin) so she informed me that I would have to get new plates. Nooooooooo! I’ve had the same plate for 14 years! Every single new car I have owned has had that plate (well, OK, truck), I love that plate! That plate and I had bonded, you can’t do this! Nooooo! *sniff* I guess the two letter four digit truck plates (which I’ve always thought were pretty keen) are now reserved for contractors only, and since we at the Q house do not contract, it was new plates for the behemoth. THEN she came back with HZT 481 or some other equally hideously evil and impossibly random plate (I only remember the Z and 4 clearly. After that my mind crumpled to the floor in a confused swoon) and I thought “I am never going to remember this plate. Ever.” so I requested a personalized plate. Of course the only idea I could come up with is the rather Meh plate because I was on the spot and it was the only thing I could think of. I’m just glad it was available, otherwise I would have had something like CHEEZE or whatever. Hee, CHEEZE. I guess the new plate is sorta clever if you are a Douglas Adams fan, or maybe kinda funny in its own right because it looks like it might be misspelled but it’s a far cry better that trying to remember HZT whateverthefucktherestofitis. Go me, new stylin plates. Cha-CHING!

Some other side notes before I wrap this up. TheMan wanted y’all to know that eventually, the rain stopped yesterday (for the last 20% of the day?) and it turned out to be one beeeyoootiful evening. Still didn’t get the grass cut but if it continues to be nice out, me and the lawn will be having some words. Most likely along the lines of “Mwwwrrrrrr” and the mower will be doing the talking. Also, yesterday marked the one year from bottling date of the blood orange wine. We cracked a bottle open in celebration (and also out of curiosity) and it has improved with age. It’s still a little rough but it has come quite a ways from orange flavored bad whisky. Whooo! We (meaning TheMan) also racked off the strawberry wine into a carboy. The strawberry aftermath looked rather weird, like milk sodden strawberry Chex or perhaps a bunch of strawberries some strawberry vampire had happened upon. They were a light pink and all deflated. Ick.


Last Year at the booniverse: So, for changing (and perhaps laundering) a $20 on Saturday, I got me a venti snickerdoodle on Monday.

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