Punting Kitties

I can not express how at times the two little adorable fluff ball kitties, who fill my life with joy, love and amusement manage to piss me off enough that I start thinking cat soup would be a wonderful winter time dish. Unfortunately, we do not have a freezer chest yet and two cats make a lot of soup. I’d hate for any to go to waste. A note to people considering bringing a bundle of pet joy into your house: Make sure you have kitchen implements large enough to fit said pet, some potato and cooking oil in it without spilling over. It’s quite the hassle to realize mid fry that your pot is too small.

Or at least let the animals know when they are being total lunatic butts that you DO have a cooking pot big enough to fit them both in and you are not against pet stir fry. It might not work to calm their crazy asses down but it makes me feel better to see their quizzical kitty faces look up at me when I holler “CAT SOUP!” at them. They have no idea what I am saying and they are not sure whether this is a “slink around the room” yelling or a “get thee under a bed” yelling. Heh.

Last night I slept like ASS and the kitties were a large part of not getting my Zs. Heck, I don’t even think I got my Rs. Perhaps I might have gotten a few Ls, I’m not sure. All I know is that I was hot, the cats were sitting on my legs, TheMan was snorgling (that’s a gargle snore) in my ear, the cats were perched on my butt, I was chilly, the cats were lying across my feet, my arms fell asleep and the cats were jumping on and off the bed. CUT IT OUT ALREADY! OK, there were a couple other factors other than the cats which caused me to have a troubled night of sleeping but it seems that every single time I woke up (and I’ll swear I broke the Guinness World record for number of times awoken in a single night) I was kicking one or the other feline off of some part of my body. CATS!

They did keep me company while I read an entire book last night. The whole book, Start to finish, cover to cover, my poor plork, leaking out my ears. It is not healthy to stay in one position so long that bed sores start popping up but if I get a good book I’ll lie there for hours thinking “I really should put this down and go get some dinner…OK, one more chapter.” Two hours later when my eyeballs start screaming MUSCLE FATIGUE! AHHHH! I think “OK, I really should take a break. At the end of this chapter I’ll definitely go wander about, maybe visit the potty”. Pretty soon my bladder starts crying and my ear has just up and quit but can’t leave because I’m LYING on it but it’s always “Alright, one more chapter.” My poor delicate spleen was brutally assaulted by my stomach last night after I ignored the warning pangs of “I’m not getting any dinner” in favor of “Pipe down, I’ll feed you as soon as I finish this chapter”. It wasn’t until my spleen was half eaten and my eyeballs started to bleed that I decided I might have been reading a tad too long. And besides, it was hard to see the page anyway.

I’m not all here today (because reading stints like that really smack me in the plork the next day) but I will recommend Will Wheaton’s Just a Geek if you are looking for a good read. I give it five ‘splody brains.

On other news fronts, I’ve decided to initiate some clan fun in Kingdom of Loathing. I made a bunch of Martini’s (and blew up my bartender in the process), gathered a bunch of papayas and handed them out to all the active members of the clan. It’s an Official Clan Ninja Sanctioned Event: A Papaya War! and for now I think I’ll schedule something fun and strange for the end of every month. Hee.

Your moment of Zen: Puppy love and Quaker Oats. Look at that puppy belly!!!

Last year at the booniverse: Nothing to see here, tune in tomorrow for the next regularly scheduled entry.

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