Our Goose Is Cooked

As usual, I did not post yesterday because it was Tuesday. I don’t know what it is about Tuesdays but for whatever reason I seem to skip them quite a bit. I think it is becoming a booniverse tradition to not post on Tuesday so pretty soon I’ll not even be bothered by the lack of Tuesday blather. It goes hand in hand with the tradition of post dating a JSFR. A blog’s got to have its quirks, right?

Anyhow! (Watch this – one multi-leveled segue coming up) I’ve been gearing up for doing a bang up Christmas dinner, complete with goose and Christmas pudding. I’ve have a real honest to goodness from the mouth (hand? mind?) of a Brit recipe for Traditional Christmas Pudding which I’ve been wanting to try. I’ve also had the recipe for going on six years but have not yet actually made it (although I’ve come really really close the past few years. No, really!). Yeah, I know, I must not really want to make it as I haven’t made it yet blah blah pipe dream cakes but that’s not exactly the case here.

The case is that every year I think to Myself, “You know what? I should do a real bang up traditional Christmas dinner this year. After all, how hard can it be to just pick up a goose and throw it in the oven? It’s vaguely turkey like and sorta chickenesque and I’ve cooked both. Plus, the pudding! I have all the info right there. Go for it!” Then Myself looks at me and says in that sarcastic voice, “Yeah, about that. Where exACTly are we going to ‘just pick up’ a goose and have you looked at the pudding recipe? Lard? Lard is not butter you know. They don’t have Lard convenience stores.” Myself can be such an ass sometimes, but I always come back with “Hey, this town is full of vegans and shopping vegan is an immense pain in the butt but they don’t all die off so there has to be someplace they all shop for their specialty stuff. This town is full of weird little stores like that. No problemo on the goose and lard, Mr. Pessimist Pants.”

Then I have to wait for the laughter to die down because Myself is ever so amused that I had vegans shopping at the goose store and really? Myself is a huge colossal butt. Of course vegans aren’t going to shop at the goose and lard store because duhhh! Vegans. My point was that IF this town can support a population of people who like to buy things like eggs that aren’t really eggs, I’m pretty sure that this town ought to be able to produce a goose and some lard, which are much more common than eggs that aren’t eggs. But Myself is all about the laughing at my goose and lard buying vegans and I hate being laughed at by Myself so I go and sulk for a bit. After sulking, I think about my plan a bit more, but Myself has really put a damper on my enthusiasm. Besides…where would I go to get a goose? Days go past, I think about goose and lard and I look at the pudding recipe a bit (it doesn’t look that complicated. Sorta. Of course I don’t have that pan thing-it but I can improvise. Maybe) and I decide I’ll think about shopping on the weekend and put the troubling goose and lard plans out of my head. Then the weekend comes and goes and I’ve forgotten all about the goose and the lard until sometime smack dab in the middle of the next week. Doah! But I can always shop the next next weekend, until I forget that weekend too and then it’s Christmas.

This year I again thought about Christmas goose and again Myself was all “Where ya going to get the goose, smarty pants?” so I thought about that for a bit until lo! Whole Foos! It occurred to me that if any place had what I needed, it would be Whole Foos because they are the premiere organic/vegan/free ranged/weird shit having store. They not only have isles and isles of vegan happy stuff, they have the best meat counter anywhere that I can think of. It’s totally a goose and lard having store AND vegans shop there too. ha HA! I tell you, Myself was not ready for me to spring the Whole Foos card because there was a whole lot of non snappiness happening. The best Myself could do was whine about the parking, which I do have to agree on: Whole Foos parking is seven different kinds of hell.

I am intrigued. I have been told that Whole Foos has a small non-demonic parking period in the wee early morning hours of the weekend so if I can roust my lazy butt, I might just saunter over there in the next week or two and check out the goose situation. You never know, it might actually happen this year.

Oh, and today’s title comes from The Donald. Apparently we are haveing a goose synergy thing.

Last year at the booniverse: You know, sock puppets, lip synching, the fact that I already had Girly-Girl puppet on and of course you need two puppets to lip synch to during Bohemian Rhapsody.

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