All Things Wednesday

No wait, All Things Thursday. Is it? Man, my brainball is completely mush, I can not figure out what day it is (internally, ofCOURSE I can look at a calendar or the meeting scheduler program or the computer or whatever. Shut up). I woke up today feeling like it was Friday but now it seems like Wednesday (which makes more sense as we had Monday off this week), who knows what day it will be by this evening. Whatever day it is, all things that day!

I’m terribly tempted to go off and form my own isolated community that does not so much care about time or dates.

Right then. So a little maintenance update: Asshat spammers! I said previously that every time I got spammed I’d shut off the comments for an entire month. As of today, December 02 through July 03 will be locked down and hopefully spam free for the rest of their days. If not, well then dammmmn! Nice super spamilicious l337 hacking 5k1llz there, but still no (I still gots the master “delete comment” button, yo!). Eventually all commenting will be turned off and you can thank the spammers for that. HATE! Again, ad nauseaum (whatever. Word don’t have an option for Latin apparently) e-mail for the booniverse can be directed to the dot mac account of the same name. Minus the “the”, of course. If you have some thinks you want to say, I am perfectly willing to post them for ya. I have the power!

And now, a short discourse on TV. We have been catching a lot of Law & Order lately and lemmie go totally fan-boo for a moment and say I love this show to pieces. I don’t quite understand the massively huge turnover of assistant DA characters or why three of the women look exactly alike (OK, not exactly EXACTLY but close enough in the “day time TV soap opera switching out actresses but still keeping the same character” way. Funky) but hey. Focus on the crime! *dunnt-dunnt!* Good stuff Maynard. I’m learning all sorts of interesting things too, one of them being that I don’t ever want to be a lawyer. Ever. Not that I really wanted to be one but it sounded interesting what with the poking through old cases for supporting arguments and whatnot. That kind of thing appeals to me in a fun puzzly sort of way. Then we watched a show where all the characters gave this one character hell for wanting to go home to her daughter…at TEN O’CLOCK AT NIGHT! The character told them that she was in a custody battle because she was spending too much time at work and not enough with the kid and the other characters were all “Whatever, clock watcher. We’ll just pick up your slack then MmmmKay? Buh-bye”. Yeah, thank you no. I’m not so crazy about a job that has no room for family values. With me, family comes first.

Which brings me to my next topic (although I still have another TV topic which I’ll segue into in a very clever manner. No watch! OK, not now, but later. I’ll let you know): Our Doc is the coolest doc EVER! He called us up last night with some more info about “Advanced Maternal Pregnancies”, basically that we have the option to have some genetic counseling because, you know, I’m OLD in…hold on…49 more days. After our appointment, the doc went and had him a consultation with one of the practitioners that does OBGYN type stuff and got some more info for us. How cool is THAT? He kept on looking up stuff for us even after we had come and gone. I love this new doc! He’s only a couple months out of his residency (which puts him at 15 instead of the 14 I had him pegged as the other day) so maybe it’s just fresh doc syndrome but he’s got me won over. It’s like he cares, it’s very refreshing.

I want to apologize to anyone who is confused at this point in the blog, I got the phraseology wrong the other day and was a “Mature” candidate and not an “Advanced” candidate like I really am. Yuck, “Advanced” sounds ten times worse. It sounds like I’ll be needing to apply for a handicapped license plate so it will be easier to hobble my old self where I need to go. Y’all can get me a walker for my birthday this year ‘cuz I’m Advanced. There might be a tad bit of merit in that though, for the life of me I can not remember the doc’s name. I’ve been calling him Frank Wu ever since I made the appointment (three weeks ago?) and his name isn’t even close. I’d understand if he was maybe Fred Wang or maybe Jake Wong but no, he’s more like Sam Chan. The only thing I got right was that he has an Asian last name and an American first name. Go me!

Brain melting.

And speaking of docs and melting brains (OK, the segue isn’t as cool as I thought I could make it. Sorry that, but here it is) we watched Noah Wyle’s new made for TV movie The Librarian: The Quest for the Spear on Sunday. Senior Wyle is still mighty damn cute (Mmmmm, eye candy) and he made a good Dr. Carter and a mighty fine Steve Jobs but…see…this movie…so painful. I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and not start dissin his l337 ak71ng 5k1llz yet but I can’t say he was really good in this either. On the other hand, I can’t really say anybody was really good in this. I can’t even say that the show was any good at all. Ow. My. Plork! Must to rip brain out of head AHHHHH!

In all fairness, The Librarian had a pretty cool premise – no wait, I think a premise is too big. It had a cool idea – no wait, also too broad. Ahhh, The Librarian had a interesting faint glimmer of a nugget of storyline substance. The bare bones plot was that this perpetual college student loser (with 22 degrees behind his name but mid thirties and still living with his mom) is the perfect candidate to become the librarian in some organization’s library of all the cool stuff of the ages. Something goes wrong, he has to fix it, hijinx ensue. Our hero is very fact smart (think Sherlock Holmes) but socially and practically dumb as a box of rocks, it’s perfect for a good epic story where the character grows and yadda yadda good story line cakes. Instead, this travesty of a movie was aired and Oh! My! Soul! did it stink. I think the best part of the movie was the final fight scene, which involved Bob Newhart doing “kung fu fighting action” (also poorly done…no what’s worse than poorly? Abysmally?), to defeat all the bad guys. OK, that was hideously painful, actually, but after all the bad guys are down he yells at them, “Alright! Who’s next? You want a piece of me?”. I was rolling. Hee, Bob Newhart: Badass! That cracked my shit right the hell up, folks.

It wasn’t, however, enough to make up for having to sit through 2 or 3 hours of pure putrescence though.

In fact, I think I’ll blame The Librarian for my lovely face plant on the sidewalk yesterday. I’m going to claim “emotional duress” made my foot catch on a rough spot of the sidewalk and caused me to go ass over teakettle all over the pavement. I’m not going to even mention that it could be my new Birks have finally gone to the dark side and are taking up where their predecessor left off because The Librarian needs to take some responsibility for the pain it put me through. Yeah, I had a pretty knee jarring spill yesterday and today I hurt. Do you realize how much a person uses their knees? I did not until yesterday when I smacked the living daylights out of them and then OW! Stairs? OW! Walking faster than an old lady shuffle? OW! Sleeping on my injured knee side? OW! Cats jumping on my legs all night? ow OW! Whacking into knee height coffee tables? Double ow with a helping of whimper. Stoooopid knees. Stoooopid sidewalk. Stoooopid The Librarian. Grrr.

Eh, at least I got to get out of the building for a while and I was able to grab not only a block M cookie cutter but another flavor of “Hello Panda” for the JSFR. Two good, two bad (I hit both knees actually, but the right side got 70%of the smacking), I think I’m even.

Last year at the booniverse: I am so going SAST today, it isn’t even funny.

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