Ergo, Workshop!

I write the strangest most incomplete notes to myself that make sense for about five minutes after I’ve written them down but after a day or two they could be anything. Cake recipes? Sure! Alien invasion plans? Sure! The directions I need on how to do new task X? Sure! All are equally valid because I don’t have a good system of “jot down” yet.

First, I am the master of the solitary phone number. Look at any three pieces of paper on my desk and I will guarantee one of them contains a seven digit string and nothing else. I am terrible about that. Weeks later I’ll come across 333-3333 and wonder who or what lives at 333-3333. I’ve even thought about calling a nebulous 333-3333 (numerous times) and asking them who they are. “Yeah, hello? I’ve got this number scribbled down on a pad of paper…why? Who are you people?” Thus, my new campaign is to try to always attach a name to these loner numbers.

That doesn’t always work either. I might run across “Geoffrey 333-3333” and well, good for me that I tagged the number with Geoffrey’s name but I don’t know a Geoffrey. Why do I have his number on a piece of paper? Do I need to call him about printers? Auto insurance? Did I hire a hit man? I’m going to have to alter my campaign a bit to include the why along with the who. “Geoffrey-masseuse 333-3333” would be about a thousand times more helpful.

Next, my sentence structuring needs to be seriously scrutinized. Maybe I should change that to sentence fragmenting because really. “Layperson -} clergy on spiritual matters” what does that mean? Laypeople become clergy on spiritual matters? Is it a pecking order with laypeople at the bottom and then clergy on spiritual matters next? If you are a layperson, you eventually transcend to clergy (but only on spiritual matters. Vs. what, clergy on automobile matters?). The note actually means that laypeople tend to go to the clergy to discuss their spiritual matters but unless you were me (and sometimes even if you are me) you might not figure that out for a while.

Last, my handwriting. Dear god, my handwriting. To start, I can not spell worth beans. Can. Not. Never have been able to, don’t see me getting any better in the future, I’m just spelling retarded. The way words are spelled makes no sense to me a lot of the time. For instance, why guarantee and not garentee? Guarantee (which, BTW I spelled right on the initial get go back there for the FIRST TIME EVER! Then I messed it all up just now writing it again four words after getting it right) has the same Gua which you might also find in guava but do you say gwarentee? No, that’s just silly, you say GARentee so why not spell it with a GAR instead of a GUA? Also, the whole a/e internal “eh” sound? HATE! Why is it “A” sometimes and “E” others with no real rule? Oh wait, it probably does have a rule like “i before e except after c and when it says its name as in neighbor and weigh and when the moon is beautiful and blue then you can put i right after u!” (OK, I made the last part up but crimony! What kind of rule states “This is how it is. Except here. Oh, and also here. And here? It’s not the same. Or there either. And this other case? Forget about it.” That’s not a rule, that’s a manifest of exceptions).

And people wonder why I can’t spell.

Spelling. What does it have to do with handwriting? In my case, say I’m taking notes and a nonsensically spelled word like guarantee (right!) pops up. There I am all scribble scribble scribble with the little words and then uh oh. It’s that word. I can never remember how that word is spelled. OK, let’s see…GAU…GAR…GUARE…errrr…. AHHHH! They are still talking! Don’t they know I’m stuck on gar..gu..ger…whatever? Wait! Slow down! I can’t spell! Ah hell, I’ll just put a G and some bumps and it’ll all work out in the end.

It doesn’t you know. Oh no, it never does. I have a note from the MLK day presentation that says “Justifech” or possibly “Justdifutn” or even “Justfrfesh”. Visually it’s “Jus [thing-it that looks like a ‘d’ but I’m pretty sure is a ‘t’ because my ‘t’s can get rather ‘d’ish when I’m scrawling] [some sort of dip which indicates there is a letter between the t/d and the next character. Possibly an ‘i’ but not guaranteed] [the next character which I’m fairly confident is an ‘f’] [bumps. ‘e’? ‘i’? who knows. Looks like 2 different bumpity bumps though, whatever they may be] [something that could be an ‘h’, might be a ‘tn’, definitely one of those letters that comes above the midline with something after it. ‘k’ would also not be within the realm of impossible]. The word, after reading the rest of the context is “Justification”. Yup, I don’t even have the right number of bumpity bumps to make the thing I wrote be “justification”.

Finally, I need to learn to cross things out when I am through with them and put some sort of break designation between thoughts on the same page. I have a bad habit of scribbling scribbles on an already scribbled page without thought or regard to decrypting later. Here’s a beaut: I found a pad that has:

a date

a name

a note about taking someone’s shift (which goes with the date, but there seems to be some other stuff between the date and who I’m picking the shift up for. Good space management there!)

a uniquename (but not that of the name or of the person whose shift I took)

1-7

a list of 4 KoL ‘splody bartender drinks

the symbol for Taurus

3 Suhun & Garf [bumpity bump] kle (translated: Simon and Garfunkle)

some jagged mountain looking things. Possibly shark mouth in three points.

I am a rock

Shark mouth

Shark mouth

11) Billy Joel Innocent Man

I can not begin to explain where and why all that. It just is. I think, after reviewing it, I have a pretty good idea about almost everything except the 1-7 and the Shark mouth. That is, if the 1-7 and the Shark mouth don’t have anything to do with the other things, seven different thoughts on one crowded piece of paper.

Thus, today’s blog title, which was my note to myself about the ergonomics workshop I needed to attend today. I picked up the note several days after writing it and read it to myself as “And thus, Workshop!” and I was amused. It seems like a great answer to many of life’s difficult problems. Tc = 5/9*(Tf-32)…ergo Workshop! I encourage everybody to adopt “Ergo, Workshop!” for their saying of the day. See where it leads you.


Last year at the booniverse: It’s like Ringu only aural; Y’all have seven days to find someone else to sing this too and wedge it into their head now. You’re welcome.

Last last year at the booniverse: Again with the Cheetoy lack of entry thing. I tell you, me and the EQ developers…ALL about the lazy.

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