Washing Day

OoooOoooOoooOooo! Get this, I remember what I did on Friday!

Yeah, the cats are not so much the happy about Friday night’s impromptu tub time but you know, I haven’t dunked them in about four years. Believe you me, they were overdue. The answer to your next question is, “About once a year, depending on whether they are bothering my asthma or not.” It’s not good to bathe a cat a whole lot but after about six months to a year they can get pretty stinky cleaning themselves with cat spit. I’m just sayin.

Friday I was having a doozie of an asthma attack so I up and decided that tonight’s the night! Or rather, Friday night’s the night! since I’ve already washed them. Whatever. I’ve been saying for about the past two years that my cats are stinky and need a bath but my basic Cheetoness outweighed any minor discomfort the asthma was kicking up. You ever bathe a cat, much less two in one night? Yeah, you get a real high Cheeto quotient when you start contemplating scrubbing two very unhappy cats. The phrase, “You know, they really don’t smell that bad…” has crossed my lips many times in the past two years and the cats have gotten reprieve after reprieve as I continued to sit on my hinder and not be “bothered” by their basic stinkiness.

So it was in the tub for them both (but not at the same time. God no, never at the same time. *shudder*) come hell or high water. From the cat’s point of view, I guess both happened. Heh. Poor kitties. Anyhoo, as I was manhandling the Little Kitty into the bathroom I hollered at TheMan that I was going to wash the cats; get the camera. Yeah, I know. I’m a terrible cat mom. But at least I’m a terrible cat mom with clean cats and soggy cat pics that make me giggle.

First up: Vande Cat.

She’s always first because unlike Isaak, when she hears the other cat in the tub she runs for spaces as yet unexplored by man. Of course the neighbors down the block can hear Isaak when we bathe him and I do believe I’ve actually seen them run for spaces as yet unexplored by man. The “I” gets some seriously unhappy cat howling going and he wants the world to know of his misery. The Little Kitty, on the other hand, usually just hunkers down and cries miserably in the tub. Friday, however, I discovered that in the intervening years my smallest cat has become quite the scrapper and wants nothing to do with water and soap. I ended up with some minor war wounds after all was scrubbed and done since Vande had found some feisty and the exit from the tub.

I hate all you hairless apes.

After the Little Kitty came out of the tub and was toweled off I opened the door to go find Isaak. Guess who was staring back at me from about three feet away? That “I” has absolutely no brains whatsoever sometimes. The whole house was open to his escape plans and where does he end up? Looking at the bathroom door the entire time the Little Kitty was bleating in distress. Fine by me, that just means I don’t have to hunt him down from under the couch or wherever. Easiest cat capture ever!

And that’s about as easy as it gets with Isaak. We don’t have any bath time pics because it took two of us to wash him. One person held the cat, the other scrubbed the cat. The cat fussed and howled. Everything went more or less according to plan (and that plan included a couple bouts of Matrix cat because Isaak will escape any way he can when presented with The Bath) up until the cat got his toe stuck in the tub drain. Yieeeee! Fortunately the cat didn’t go bazoo and mangle his poor toe and fortunately the toe slipped right out of the drain cover once we removed it (the cover, not the toe), but the moments after “GAH! He’s got his toe stuck and I can’t get it unstuck” and before “There! Drain cover off and cat toe out” were mighty tense.

The poor “I” gets a soggy cuddle after the heart racing toe incident.

“Pbbbbffffffffft. I will so eat the BOTH of you in your sleep for this.”

After the ordeal, they both hung out in front of the dresser which is parked over the heat vent in the bedroom. Isaak was all “LickLickLick – I hate you – LickLickLick – a lot – LickLickLick – you will SO pay for this when I’m dry – LickLickLick” while Vande was her usual soppy wet misery cat. For whatever reason she wont lick herself dry right away but instead spends a couple hours moping about all drippy loafy cat of misery. Heh, little did her tiny kitty brain realize that the heat from the vent blows out the front of the dresser so it acted like a giant clothes storing cat hair dryer. She moped but she got blown dry at the same time…score!

The next day the Little Kitty was so tired she didn’t move at all when we errr…I mean the aliens! The aliens decided to put a box on top of her just to see what she would do. The answer was not a whole lot of anything. The aliens were highly disappointed, yet amused that she slept like that for five or so minutes while the aliens looked for the camera, found the camera, wondered why the camera was acting up, futzed with the camera and then took lots of pictures. Oh, and the aliens might have generally laughed at her too because she was wearing a box. In the end, the aliens needed the box sooner than the Little Kitty was done with her nap so they took it off of her and loaded it with birthday surprises. The Little Kitty did not so much blink an eyeball at the whole ordeal.

Last year at the booniverse: Thinking about cat washing, too lazy to do it. Apparently too lazy to update as well.

Last last year at the booniverse: Will we have to then pick out a spork pattern for our registry?

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