The Great April Fools Answers


Vande wonders when I will get out of her face and let her nap.

1. Vande gets her name from Van de Graaff.

True! Her fur is very dense and very fine so that she feels like a plush animal when you pet her. She also generates an amazing amount of static electricity in the dry months when you do pet her and because I got her in December she was in prime sparking mode. Hence ‘Van de Graaff generator’. She does not like this trait one bit and sometime in October/November she becomes a disgruntled little kitty.

2. Isaak is named after Sir Isaak Newton.

FALSE! Isaak is named after Chris Isaak the singer because he spent his first hour or so in my apartment howling to Forever Blue until the CD changer shifted to a new disc. Then he promptly fell asleep and I thought, “Well then, so much for a cool Siamese name, he obviously has to be Isaak.” It turns out that Isaak never liked loud high noises and Chris Isaak is a bit of a yodeler.

3. Ever since seeing Pet Cemetery I had wanted a British Short Hair.

FALSE! I didn’t especially want a Brit or even know what a Brit was when I got Vande. I just happened to need a companion cat and a coworker was, at that same time, selling off his cattery cats due to a failed Brit breeding program.

4. I’ve had both Weirdos for 15 years.

FALSE. I would have had both for 15 years come June.


5. I have no kitten pictures of VandeCat.

TRUE, sadly. I got Vande when she was 8 months old and I don’t think my coworker had any kitten pics of her when she was wee. When I got her she was mostly growed cat looking so I don’t even know what a baby Brit would look like. This pic is one of the earliest pictures I have of The Little Kitty.

6. The only kitten pictures I have of Isaak are ones someone else took.

TRUE. When Isaak was wee (maybe 4 months old?) I had to go away for something or other so I asked a coworker to look after him for the week. He took the only 3 pictures I have of Isaak when he was small; the rest had to wait until I got a camera the next year when my cat was growed.

7. Isaak often thought he was an Egyptian God.

Mmmmaybe? At least according to Quirk’s Evil Little Web Comic he did.

8. I grew up with Siamese cats.

FALSE! I grew up with a Himalayan; which back in the day was something of a fluffy Siamese cat (versus the abomination of a pointed persian cat that they are today. What IS it with people and dinking with cat breeds? CRIMONY!). So sort of true in that Cocoa had more of a Siamese personality than she did a Persian but she wasn’t nearly as mouthy as Isaak.

9. Isaak was a moma’s cat.

TURE. Poor kitty came home with me at 7 weeks old which is too young for a kitten to be properly socialized. Ergo, I was “Momma cat” for him.

10. Vande’s is a “Whoever is most likely to give me pettins” cat.

TRUE. That cat loves DQ the best out of everyone because DQ is the cat whisperer. Next she likes TheMan and then probably me.


2009: All the world’s a vacation!!!

2008: JSFR: Assi Brand Instant Plum Tea

2007: It’s like suddenly the bed has become a moonwalk and the weirdoes are two five year olds revved up on sugar with a fist full of ride tickets.

2006: Envelope? HokayDoke! Card stock? No worries! Cheese sammich? Why, let’s give it a try! You could put anything in the bypass tray and it’d suck it into the machine with an amused gusto.

2005: They wanted the gown on opening forward so I had to stuff as much of it as I could in my armpit in order to stay decent.

2004: So out my seeds went this morning, as the two day old custom has established itself, and by the time I got to work I noticed that there was snow in the air.

2003: I got me a double dose of God today. Halleuja!

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