Timbits Will Kill You

I’m trying to not be a food Nazi with my new counting calories but one can eat an awful lot just randomly if one doesn’t keep track of these things. One being me in this case, however I would bet there are several other people who could be a one too. Anyhow, today was my coworker’s last day (he’s going back to school full time) so we had a bagel break to send him off. Of course there was more than bagels, because people here like to bring in tasty things to eat, and someone stopped off at Tim Horton’s. I’m not much of a donut fan and can usually leave them be (Wasem’s donuts being the exception) but donut holes are an entirely different thing. I love me some donut holes…especially the old fashioned sour cream glazed.

Naturally I had a sour cream glazed donut hole because Tim! Bits! and SOURCREAMGLAZEDCRACKEPIPHANY! but I only had one. I considered having a second one but…umm…I sorta maybe touched a chocolate donut hole by accident with my gooey donut finger (trying to Jenga the second sour cream glazed out of the box. Why do they pack all the good donut holes on the bottom?) so I took that one instead. Nobody wants gooey donut hole fingered donut holes so I wound up with one delicious awesome glazed crack donut hole and one chocolate donut hole I’d really rather was another glazed delicious donut hole. Then I looked up the nutritional info to write in my little black book and GAH! Glazed sour cream donut holes are 80 frikkin calories PER DONUT HOLE!!!1!.

The chocolate are only 50 but that stands to reason because the chocolate are substandard. Anyway, who the heck only eats one Timbit? Who eats only 4 Timbits? 320ish calories is about what I usually allot for breakfast and I tell you, I can chow down 6 or 7 glazed old fashion sour cream donut holes and not blink. Two eggs and toast has less calories than 4 Timbits and I am much fuller afterwards. Timbits kinda scare me.

So, while I’m waxing about food, I had a weird experience today. I was talking about the Nero Wolfe cookbook and the fact that it has a recipe for blueberry grunt in it. I’d never heard of a grunt before, but when I was talking with one of the student workers he asked if it was like a slump. A what? As it turns out, there is a whole family of “Fruit goo with dough”: Grunts, slumps, cobblers, crisps, crumbles, Betties and pandowdies. (best 5 minute internets search resource here). Oi! Naturally, we had to try some of these out so we wandered over to the Badgardens with blueberries and two basic recipes.

By the way, Joy totally failed when it came to the grunt recipe, but then again there seems to be arguments on exactly what exactly a true grunt, slump, cobbler, crisp, crumble, Betty or pandowdy is. I am choosing to define a grunt as “fruit goo with dropped biscuit hat steamed like dumplings” and cobbler as “fruit goo with dropped biscuit hat baked like pie”. We did both and dumpling fruit is weird. Unanimously we agreed that cobbler top and grunt bottom was the best dish. Grobbler? I wish I had taken my camera as I kinda want to do a “fruit goo with dough” taste off.

2009: TimBits killed this entry.

2008: Or possibly grunt.

2007: How was I supposed to realize that the whole damned plant swiveled around like some sort of chlorophyll filled gyroscope?

2006: JSFR: Korean Ginseng Drink

2005: JSFR: Decorer Pocky (banana sucree)

2004: I blame the grunt.

2003: Which is a sentence I never really thought I’d print.

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