The Mother of all SASTs!

OK! Lets get rolling on this nonsensical post, shall we? I have lots to talk about but not oodles and buckets of lotses. More like bits of lots, or lots of bits. Kibbles and Bits!

So it seemed to me I have some projects out there that I’ve mentioned but never followed up on. Today’s a perfect day for such thought tidying because it sure isn’t going to be a perfect day for much anything else. I think the sun took a 3 day weekend, starting today. In no particular order, other than the order they come to me, here’s the news.

Reading Project 101. Ummm. Yeah. Still working on that. I’ve been carrying “Neuromancer” around for a couple of weeks and I’m only on page *mumbleonemumble*. BUT! We did pick up “American Gods” (another Hugo winner) and another Garret Files book plus…errr…hold on, lemmie go check on the name. Right! “The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse”, how could I have forgotten that? It’s by the same fella (Robert Rankin) who did “Nostradamus Ate My Hamster” (which, oddly, I have heard of) and “Armageddon the Musical”. The Bunnies book was recommended to us by the Borders guy but seriously, The Hallow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse? I’d shell out money just for the title. Heh.

Yeah, I know I said no more books, but we were going on a trip! You gots to have new reading material for a trip! Plus we picked up “Going Postal” in audio book form. TheMan and I love us some audio books for traveling.

I also want to say that I can not spell “apocalypse” for the life of me because it looks way too much like “apocalypso” and that can’t be right. I spell so poorly that I figure if I’m spelling “apocalypse” like the dance, I must be spelling it wrong.

Work Stuff. Heh…Dooced? Nah. I was going to mention that they mover fellas finally came in and raised my desk. It was about 3 inches short, according to all the goodie-good working environment people and definitely at least an inch too short from the way I was sitting under it because I’ve had my chair on shorty-short and my legs didn’t really quite fit under the desk space. Of course, I’m lazy and usually sit with my legs all sprawled out under the desk, but if I wanted to sit all proper like with the 90 degree bend and blah blah ergonomic cakes, I physically could not. Now? Wala! The drawback is that while I have the perfect clearance for my legs in any position, the top of it is just a weeeeee bit too high owing to the desk being about 4 inches thick. Eh, I’m enjoying being able to get my legs under the desk properly, I’ll adjust to the fact that’s a tad taller than it should be.

Have I mentioned my work squoodgie? Probably but I’ll mention it again here. I got the coolest wrist rest for my keyboard and I can not stop poking it. It’s a clear gel like thing colored transparent (in as far as one can see through a gel thingit) purple and is the avatar of poke. People coming into my office want to poke it. It just needs to be poked. Poke.

TEETH! In my quest to succeed in brushing my teeth every day twice a day, I have met with mediocre success. Eh, I have a 75ish percent accomplish rate and I’m not staying up nights worrying about the other 25%. But! On a surprising note, somewhere in there I began flossing daily and have been weirdly good about that. I am not so much a flosser, even though I know I should be, but by gum, there I am every day in the morning floss in hand and gleam in eye. I think it started with a corn chip that got really wedged up in that blobber doohickey right behind your two front teeth. It took about two or three days of committed flossing to dislodge that sucker (and it hurt like the dickens) and then, since the corn chip particle left such a gaping hole, other stuff tried to take roost so I kept up with the flossing the front teeth…and the rest of the teeth while I was there. Why not eh? Pretty soon I had a habit. My dentist would be proud and I owe it all to corn chips.

Smitheetastic in a new media A coworker of mine brought in a book of “poetry” self published by the “author” that was rejected as a gift by two separate libraries. This stuff is…wildly…most spectacularly…the most…well, it rhymes at least. Truly, I have never read anything so bad in my life, including poetry by budding college freshmen and sophomores in a creative writing class who thought they had the muse and wrote with abandon. Imagine 10,000 monkeys with 10,000 typewriters eventually creating all the known written masterpieces, then think about what happens with all the discarded bits. Now, take all those bits and make poetry from them. The horrific part of all this is that this collection of over 204 “poems” is the author’s second work. It’s like a massive train wreck reading the “poems”. Can. Not. Look. Away! But, brain. hurting so bad.

I HATES IT! Lemmie just pause and rant about microsoft a moment because GAH! I upgraded my work machine to MS office whatever the hell newer version, which I am happy to say went smashingly well at the beginning. Nothing major disappeared, the directions were simple and user idiotic (good for people like me who know only enough about computers to be dangerous) and in about 20 minutes, give or take, wala! I had the newer version of Office. Whoot! Except I didn’t really have the newer version of office because Office has been patched and repatched so many times it was more like I had the Office skeleton rather than the whole beast. Grrr. But no worries. I had seen TheMan do upgrades on my powerbook at home and it was a piece of cake. You went to this official URL here, it sniffered your computer, thought a bit and then let you know exactly what you needed to upgrade in order to be compliant. Putting the skin and muscle on the bones, so to speak.

My computer finished doing its upgrading thing and let me know that I should probably go to MS’s home page and pick up my patches. OK! So there I went, hit the “I would like to download patches for blah blah whatever it was I just did” and wala! I said wala! Wala damnit! What the? See, MS just sends you to a page that says “You might need one of these 10,000 updates, please click here and we’ll sniffer your computer”. OK, so it’s a little two step in the whole patch me now process. I clicked the sniffer button, expecting to get a list of all the patches with the ability to choose which patch to patch and a giant “Just to it, MmmmKay?” button. Apple does this, it makes life infinitely sweeter to those of us who might be a little…errr…less geekily inclined but no. MS gives you a giant list of patch links which you then have to click on ONE BY ONE. Then you have to click on the “download this single 1 of 10,000 patches please” button which puts it onto your computer. Then, you have to go to your computer, find the damn thing and click the “install the fucker, I am running out of patience with this shit” button.

My two page (TWO PAGE!!) list of links looked formidable, even more so because nothing was labeled as to its importance in the patch world. Take service pack two which is, as I understand it, MS’s thumb in the exploitation dam they built for themselves. I’d expect that to be in big bold bright letters that said DOWN LOAD THIS! NOW! NO, DO NOT GET UP TO GO PEE, THERE IS NO TIME! while something like, say, an upgrade to the resident tunes program to be a mild “Hey. You know. Just sayin…you got the time, you can click here but no rush man. I’ll be here all week” Why do I even bother expecting MS to do anything nice and friendly? Le Sigh. For the record, I really tried to download all the patches like a good little end user. Really. But. For some reason it was saying that I needed to install all the way back from service pack one (ONE!). What?!?? So I clicked, and I downloaded and I ran into some idiotic stupid program that failed and I said “Fuck it!” and left the damned patch screen.

Fucking Microsoft.

Well, that was a piece of rant.

Lemmie see. I think that’s all for now. See ya on the flip side.


Last Year at the booniverse: Not even an SAST for y’all!

Last last year at the booniverse: While driving in today TheMan and I witnessed an Escapade try and do the stop sign waltz with a city bus.

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