Origins ‘05: Something Old – A Pictoblog

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Happy 14th Annual Smithee Awards. This is your host, Alan Smithee.

Today started out bright and early: LunarGeography and I actually got up in time for breakfast. Yeah, I know. Woah! That is the one thing that amazes me about Origins, the fact that gamers get up at the crack of early to get their gaming game on. Seriously, the dining area is packed at 7:40 with gamers catching a bite to eat before an 8 o’clock game. I don’t know about y’all but I am not that much a gamer that I will get up at 7 or 6:30 to role play. Nuh-uh!

I will get up at just before the breakfast spread closes for some waffles and sausage though. Mmm, mmmm. Sausage. Plus, it closes at 10 so I don’t have to really get out of bed until 9:20. That is a much more acceptable time. Sadly, I was going to ferry up some snausages for the boys, who did not make the breakfast buffet once this trip, but I remembered too late and all the sausages had been put away. Sadness of their sausage soul.

The boys decided to do their Smithee wig out so LunarGeography and I headed out to the dealer room. Come to think on it, Badmovie may have accompanied us for some of the trip but left us half way through. TheMan was all wigging all the time (he gets that way) and stayed back to print up posters. Weirdly, sometime between our first walk through and accompanying Badmovie part of the way back we saw TheMan sign (heh!) in the form of Smithee posters everywhere. We did not run into him though.

LunarGeography and I headed in to find a demo of Ed’s Pants but they were in the midst of a game. No worries, we thought, we would just head up to the Looney Labs and collect some cards, maybe demo a game and be right back. We sauntered in and grabbed a lab rabbit in the back of the room to see if he had cards and we met the lab rabbit that makes all the other lab rabbits look good. This particular lab rabbit was not a Looney rabbit but rather channeled surly. Oi! To every question we asked (and LunarGeography is the avatar of charming when she turns it on) he had a nasty sarcastic remark.

Q: Are you a lab rabbit with cards to hand out?
A: You know, there is a piece of paper with all the names of the rabbits who have cards in the front of the room.

Q: Yeah, but you are here, I am here and the paper is at the other end of the room.
A: Ever hear of a paper and pencil.

I have no idea why we stayed for a demo from him…maybe we were feeling charitable, or maybe I was too lazy and LunarGeography has too much niceness to bolt at the first sign of asshatness but we both decided that we might as well get one demo game in before going down to demo Ed’s Pants. We played Aquarius (?) which is like dominoes but with cards and it took over an hour to play. LunarGeography has played it before and she said in no way should one game take that long. The Surly Lab Rabbit wasn’t very good at explaining things for ease of game play and in fact began spouting whole theories on the play at hand blah blah JUST PLAY THE GAME ALREADY cakes. I do not need to know every permutation of the play at hand. We played a second “short” game that sucked rocks and wound up whittling away two hours of our morning. Sadly, we did not get to see who stole Ed’s Pants as we had to catch lunch.

Lunch came, lunch went, next time we do not do lunch at 3:30 because everyone got backed up and we were running late the rest of the afternoon. We hit the room at 6:20 to find it already a quarter full of Smithee fans. Yipe! LunarGeography and I busted butt (cuz we the butt bustin ballot duo we are) getting the already arrived their ballot packs and trying to catch the new people coming in and give them their ballot packs. We packed and ninja’d (or bimboed in LunarGeography’s case) and scurried and began thinking to ourselves, “Gee, we’ve been doing this for a while…what up?”

What up was that the AV people provided us with a DVD player, yes, but one without any front buttons and no remote so it was a useless DVD player. They also didn’t have the cables we needed to run the show from the laptops so in the end we borrowed a lap top from an audience member (YAY! Mary!) to run the show. TheMan was fit to be tied. Next year we are going to bring the entire show, minus the sound system because Audio Gig (or whomever) SUCKS MIGHTY SUCKAGE!

Bryan did some preshow (and more preshow and most preshow) patter and handed out the specially made T-shirt for our number one stalker fan.

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Everyone, meet Ty. He’s the fella who painted his head with Smithee Messages last year. He is also now the Official Smithee Stalker.

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See?

The show was an hour late in starting but ran pretty smoothly and much faster than I thought it was going to as we ended pretty much on time. I think the audience, for whatever reason, voted faster this year which saved some time. Afterwards we gathered for booze and food which was pizza this year because Badmovie is a genius. He made a pizza ven diagram and came up with 4 edible pizzas of which everyone would partake of at least two. Not only that, LunarGeography ordered them at about Crummiest Ending so they were waiting for us…or pretty darned near so by the time we all got back to the hotel. Mmmmm pizza.

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Back at ya!

(BTW, DQ designed this tux and all the film frames are from some Smithee movie or the other)


Last year at the booniverse: All I can say about the experience is that nowhere in MY book is a Danish less than two inches in diameter.


Last last year at the booniverse: The bushes have all gone bazoo and have taken to giving me the evil eye every time I walk by.

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