30 or Bust!

Hey! A Tuesday post! Look at that. Sadly, nothing really significant has happened in the booniverse in the last 24 hours so I’m going to blather about my World of Warcraft adventures. Y’all who find this boring might just want to peek in tomorrow and see if there’s something more to your fancy. Oh, and maybe look for a picto-blog from this past weekend. I’m not sayin’ it’s going to happen but it just might. At least the camera made it downstairs next to my computer yesterday. That’s a start.

OK, the Warcraft. First of all, I’m in the MMORPG quandary I’m always in, i.e. every other single person in the whole wide world who is not a jerk has outstripped my characters. I hate that my highest level character is 10+ levels below everybody because I always feel like I’m paying catch-up. Gaming should be fun and relaxing, not full of “I’m too low level” angst. I get enough angst at work, I don’t need it in my free time hobbies. I am also teh sux0r at power gaming, the country bumpkin gamer living in the world of corporate gamer sharks if you will.

Anyway, lately I’ve been focusing on Tan to get him to 35 (and the taaaaasTAY artisan alchemist) and I’m rediscovering the great thing about playing Tan, which is that I really don’t care much about what happens. Tan is such a fun state of mind to be in, even dying is amusing. He’s also a more relaxing character because you can send Big Blue out to smack things up while kicking back and taking pot shots at the critter. It’s like armchair gaming! The warlock character is also built for soloing, in case you happen to be 10+ levels behind every other single person in the whole wide world who is not a jerk.

Which brings me up to last night’s “adventuring” and more Tan stories, because where there’s Tan, there are Tan stories. The little fella jumped two levels this weekend to hover at 29 (alllllmost there!) so I thought I’d take him out and get 30 already and get his keen new level 30 Warlock goodies. I had a few quests to finish off so I thought I’d tidy them up and maybe watch a bit of Law & Order before going to bed early.


It all started with the spiders. In hindsight, I should have just parked his little gnommie butt over at the ogres and chewed through the level one giant ogre at a time. I’d have gotten more cash (cuz them ogres live large!) and more silk for the dr00d to play with and probably have gotten to watch at least a Law & Order before hitting the hay. Instead, on the way into a town that is directly from and to nowhere, I happened across a camp that had a quest! Kill a bunch of pygmy spiders and get a tasty reward. Hey, 15 low levelish spiders would be a piece of cake. I thought I’d pick up the quest for the status points, since it was too low to give any experience points, and maybe some cashola. Besides, how long really would it take to zap 15 lowish level spiders anyway?

Oh my bleeding eyes and ass! I have never sat in one place so long and accomplished so little in my entire life as I did yesterday looking for those little suckers. I am chair ass’s bitch today because dayum, I totally blanked on how brain ‘splody impossible it is to find one pygmy spider, let alone fifteen. Of 4 bazillion spider spawns, roughly two of the whole lot are pygmy spiders. Add to that the fact that every other person in the whole wide world who is a jerk is always out hunting them too, I spent way too much time looking for things that gave me zilch-0 experience. Even the stuff that isn’t pygmy spiders that likes to chew on you anyway showed up as no experience. It got to the point where I was so frustrated, and halfway through the quest so I didn’t want to quit, that I began nuking every single spider I saw. Hey, if the pygmies weren’t going to show, the whole spider kingdom was going to pay. I even pulled out the big nukes, overkill crisping a single spider with an area of effect spell. Rain of FIRE on their spideryasses!

I think my crowning achievement, or maybe breaking point, was when three things jumped the gnome while he was battling his last pygmy spider. Four of anything, even low level anythings, will eventually chew a hole in both a Big Blue and a gnommie warlock so sadly, Tan died the death of a thousand teeth and fangs. However, I was NOT about to give up on pygmy spider 15 so I fired up The Backup Plan: The Warlock Rez Option. As soon as the other critters wandered back to their posts BAMN! Lit pygmy 15 up like the fourth of July. HA! Didn’t expect THAT did you?

Unfortunately, in my haste to not let golden pygmy 15 escape, I might have forgotten that a warlock doesn’t rez with his or her protective Blue. I also might have slapped a bunch of spider angering spells onto mighty pygmy 15 before realizing there was no Blue to take care of the spider pummeling. It wasn’t pretty. Warlock hand to hand is never pretty. Eventually legendary pygmy 15 was vanquished but in hindsight, maybe Rain of FIRE on its spideryass was not the best of coup de grases. Especially in a high traffic zone.

If anyone was on Uther last night and saw a CrazyGnome trailing about five flaming wolves and spiders beating feet into town, that would have been me.

Once done with that miserable EXPless waste of time, I proceeded onto my other quest which was an epic continentscape doozie that had me running the gnome all over the place. Mind you, I suppose I could have hitched a bird to most of the places but then I’d have lost Big Blue and I’m a cheap bastard and don’t want to pay the coin for the quick bird flight. So run it was, but did the quest really have to take me from one end of a zone to the completely opposite other end of a different zone and back again? Several times? Gah.

So I ran, I talked, I collected, I schlepped and I ran into some ghostie wench who was quite put out about my questing. She’s there in story to stop people from finding out about quest dude and I’ve run into her before with the dr00d when I did this quest last time so I didn’t expect too much fuss. After all, it was an easy quest for Tan. She popped, I DoTed, Blue pummeled and BAMN-O! She turned my poor gnommie into a sheep. Twice.

That’s never happened before.

Heh, and here’s my deep dark little secret: Being a sheep is the funniest thing I’ve experienced in WoW yet, including accidentally hitting “duel Vonderhoff, TheMan’s 10+ level hunter” instead of “follow Vonderhof, TheMan’s 10+ level hunter” and then being shot with Von’s “confuse a critter” round. Twice. Followed by being blown up with Von’s mortar trap.

See, I had no idea what was going on when the ghostie wench stuck her sheep morphing spell on Tan, other than I couldn’t click any spells and the screen was going all see saw crack crazy. Blue was still taking names but Tan? Winging around all over the place in some sort of uncontrolled stupor. It wasn’t until I pulled back out of the gnome’s point of view into a 3/4 overhead view that I discovered Tan was now a sheep! Apparently, sheep gotta wander about in random directions too because the gnommie-sheep was all over the place. The spell also lasts a good ten seconds, which meant sheep-Tan covered a lot of wander ground.

Then I did more gnome schlepping to and fro before getting a quest part that lead to opening a chest in an inn in the middle of nowhere town. ShhhPOP! Ghostie wench. DoT! DoT! DoT! Gnommie spells! BAMN-O! Sheep. Again. Twice. Again. So while Blue took names and pummeled ghostie wench, Tan padded around the inn aimlessly looking for clover to munch on.

My deep dark secret now is that maybe being a sheep isn’t as funny the second (fourth?) time around. Although, if anybody is going to be turned into a sheep, you know it’s going to be Tan.

Finally all the little quests parts lead up to the final schlep to distant city in which you have to open up a box located in the canal district. Three boo points if you can guess who pops out to harass the valiant questor. Three more points if you can guess who was turned into a sheep, twice, again. Again. The only thing that would have topped three times a sheep is if the random sheep AI had accidentally plopped Tan-sheep into the canals. That I would have paid money for because hee! Sadly, the sheep AI only wandered onto the guard rails of the canal and not over into the water. Baaaaad sheep AI.

In all this, I never got CrazyGnome to 30. Looks like I have some ogres to kill tonight.

Last year at the booniverse: Riiiiiiise my zombie low fat muffin minions! Do my bidding and take over the world!

Last year at the booniverse: JSFR – raspberry pocky

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