What’s That You Say?

Booisms explained and other tales.

Yesterday while I was walking along I greeted a coworker with “‘Sup-‘sup?”, which I then had to explain. I have a lot of sayings that I use which may make no sense what-so-ever so I thought I do a little clarification today. I’m not likely to write ‘Sup-‘sup in the blog but I do say it quite frequently in person. For those of you who both read and talk to me, ‘Sup-‘sup translates into “What is going on with you?”. The simple origin of the expression is that I stole the gangsta ‘Sup (what’s up) and just doubled it. That’s all. Oh, and there are no hand gestures that go along with ‘Sup-‘sup so I suppose I’ve changed that as well.

Plork. I’ve used this several times here and there, it means “brain”. It’s mostly used in the context of “my poor overworked/simple/taxed/fried brain”. One does not usually have a brilliant plork moment, but one certainly has many el stupido plork moments. 2+2=5? Plork moment. The origin is a mis-read of a pork ad by TheMan, who then decided (clearly from TheMan space) plork was the other gray meat. Which lead to zombies and there you have it. Don’t stress your plork trying to figure it out, it just is.

Earball, headball, kneeball. Or actually, any part of the body really but I think it’s pretty much confined to those three body parts and in that order frequency. Why? Well, if the eye can be an eyeball, why can’t a head be a head ball? And the ear too (other than the fact that ears aren’t really spherical but that’s not the point!) and the knee is kind of roundish. We don’t discriminate here at the booniverse and besides, earball makes me giggle. That’s reason enough.

Ball of Toe. I’m not sure this is a blog thing as much as it’s a live boo thing but I will yell at people “Ball of Toe!” if they are not getting up from the floor correctly. It’s a martial arts hold over thing: If you are in a kneeling position, it is much stronger and less likely to break the little bones on the top of your foot if you push off from the ball of your foot and toes than from the top of your foot. Although, if you watch carefully, you will notice that the more popular way of getting up is pushing off the top of your foot. Bad people! BALL OF TOE!

Cheeto, Cheeto-ness, Cheeto-butt. Being really lazy. I mean really lazy. The kind of lazy that happens when you don’t get yourself a tasty cookie treat (or chips or vodka, whatever your vice) which is just over in the kitchen three steps away because the effort to get your ass off the couch and take those three steps is just too much trouble. I’ve explained this previously I think, but I’ll do it again (because I’m too much of a Cheeto-butt to search through the booniverse archives and link to the Cheeto explanation). I had a housemate who would nap on the couch in the common area and for a solid week, every time I saw him he was on that couch and in the same position. Dirge actually coined the phrase, amazed that anyone could be so lazy and also wondering how my housemate had the energy to do anything but lie on the couch. Dirge speculated that occasionally my housemate might roll over and murmur “Put a Cheeto in my mouth” to a passing housemate in hopes of sustenance.

Lazy Couch Fucks. This is TheMan’s expression and ironically derived from the same original source material as the Cheeto expression. When I moved out of the house I shared with a couple other people, it was smack in the middle of prime 90210 watching time which annoyed the beegeebus out of my housemate and his woman. I mean, the nerve of me trying to move my stuff from my room to the door which took me between the couch and the TV. Jeebus, was I EVER going to get done with the interrupting already? I mean, two HOURS of moving crap? You are disturbing the SHOW! I think TheMan was appalled that no one offered to help move stuff, unless the definition of ‘help’ had somehow changed to mean “Pitch a high holy snit fit about disrupting the (syndicated?) show”. The difference between a Cheeto and a Couch Fuck is that being Cheeto isn’t a hanging offence.

Hammmmm. Have I used this? Dunno, being mighty Cheeto here and wallowing in it. But if I had, it is simply the boo way of saying Ham. Originally it came from the days of food ordering at the co-op where you would check “Ham” on the order form and get something that was stamped “Grade D (I believe, maybe lower) – Fit for Human Consumption”. I don’t know about you, but I’m under the impression the human digestive system can consume a whole lot of things I’d just rather not eat. We aren’t exactly delicate eaters, us omnivores. “Fit for Human Consumption” always bothered me because in the back of my mind I’d think “So…how many steps away is this ham from “Not Fit For Human Consumption” and what exactly does that mean?” One day, Jer and the pen went a little crazy and wrote ‘hamm’ on the menu, which we thought was mighty appropriate seeings as we weren’t sure how closely related our “ham” was to an actual pig. Think of it like Krab, except the more Ms the further away from pig the lump of meat is. And plus, Hammm is fun to write.

Bleuterberry. Again, this may be a live boo expression but in case it crops up, it means ‘blueberry’. My friend Jer and I were up late one night doing food reqs for the co-op and one thing lead to another until BAMN! We were planning ‘Bleuterberry Muffelheads” for Sunday brunch.

Have you seen my __________, it’s blue. Another live boo expression and also a live Sis expression as well. Bonus! Although, it is entirely possible that I might reference the expression as a throw away at some point in time if I haven’t already. It’s from a commercial waaaaay back when for a telephone service that was trying to convince people they were really cool. So cool, that if your kid happened to randomly call someone in, say, Germany and tell them all about his missing blue turtle, then the company would totally reimburse you for the charges, no questions asked. *snicker* Ahhh, the age of innocence. All that’s left of that idea, I believe, is my sister’s and my propensity to spout “Have you seen my ____________, it’s blue” in imitation of the little kid whenever someone mentions something that is missing and also blue. Surprisingly, it actually comes up more often than you would think.

The Blue People. The Blue People are from a Twilight Zone episode that supposes life is really a series of frames, like a film. We think it’s contiguous because we live in the frames but in reality, there are these blue people that do all the moving of objects from frame to frame. Things only move around because the Blue People check against their prop notes for each frame and move the things that are supposed to move as each frame happens. Sort of like stop motion photography. Anyway, occasionally there is a screw up and something doesn’t make it into the frame that should have been there. Hey, life’s got a lot of stuff to have to keep track of. So, the next time you are looking for your keys that you know you put right there not 10 minutes ago! and look all over the house only to find said keys right there where you had put them? Don’t worry. You are not losing your mind, it’s just that the Blue Person in charge of making sure your keys were there on the table forgot to set them up in the next frame and the keys stayed not set up until they discovered their error and put them where they should be. I blame the Blue People for a lot of stuff.

_______space. The ______ is usually a person, such as badmovie, so the expression becomes “badmoviespace” if we are talking about something that has percolated from the somewhat non-fathomable depths of his mind. As far as I know, badmovie and TheMan are the only people who have their own space and really, badmovie inspired the expression. For every ten badmoviespace ideas, TheMan might come up with two or three TheManspace ideas but the point of the expression is that it describes something so bizarre that it can only have originated from a certain non-tangential to this existence realm that exists solely in the minds of these people. I’m talking things that make you have to think whether they are funny or maybe just worry you a bit. Things like bacon frosting or French toast martinis. Things that man was never meant to think. Incidentally, the origin of the expression is somewhat unclear; TheMan thinks I might have come up with it, but I’m under the impression that I just perpetuated it (I’m really good at that sort of thing). My feeling is that LunarGeography coined the phrase. Dammit, we’ve lost part of the Lore!

Loud, Box of Loud. GrapeNuts. This is a relatively new booism, we’ll see if it sticks around. If you have ever eaten these then I need not really explain why we call them this. What? WHAT?!??

Deedelt, The Deedelt. I haven’t used this in a long time because TheMan’s PDA crapped out on him over a year ago, but it refers to a hand held little data storage thing-it (Clio, Palm Pilot, etc.) or doing something with said thing-it (yes, this is both a noun and a verb). I could never figure out exactly what its name was, since PDA meant to me “public display of affection” and that just didn’t sound right. Also I could never remember what brand of Deedelt TheMan had. But! It always made this deedelty noise whenever he opened it up so that’s how I started referring to it.

Shiny!, Something Shiny! happened. Heh, anything that distracts me from whatever it was that I was doing before said new thing caught my attention. Usually this means that the first thing I was on about never does happen.

JSF, JSFR: Japanese Snack Food and Japanese Snack Food Review. It’s a category here at the booniverse in which I and at times other people (known as my Guinea Pigs) eat snack foods from Japan and rate them.

That’s all I can think of at the moment. There are probably a dozen more things I say that have a boocentric spin but right now I’m coming up empty. I’m also coming up at the end of the entry. How fortuitous!

This is what happens when you aren’t paying attention to the screen saver image on a JSFR. I present Ogontoh Morinaga!

Last year at the booniverse: Cheeto: To not write en entry.

Last last year at the boonverse: “Ares, God of War, be praised! Man, that’s some good coffee!!”

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