Garden Pr0n

Well, at least I am on track for March’s Month of House Project Madness because LunarGeography and I got out the garden porn magazines and planned our 2011 gardens while the boys argued Smithee clips. By the end of the night we had a show but I’m not sure LG and I quite cemented on what we were going to buy.

Here’s the thing; I’m sort of a piss poor gardner. I’d LOVE to grow everything but I am not the most attentive waterer and the little shit neighborhood vermin get into my growing space and eat my stuff. And the big tree in the yard, which I love as a big tree, keep growing and now I don’t have as much light as I used to. I’m still hoping for a strategic lightning strike to shorten the top a little and open up my gardening space. Actually I’m really hoping for the neighbor’s tree to get zorched by lightning because that’s my late afternoon sun problem and their tree is one of those thick leaved things where our big tree is sickly and dapply.

Any! Way! Since I can not call lightning at will, there is not much point in dwelling. Moving on!

I would like to grow pumpkins that survive mold AND critters some year. Is this the year? Possibly. I at least have a good method for fighting the mold so now it’s time to come up with an anti-critter strategy.

We found the cutest little personal sized spaghetti squash and these teeny tiny zuke like critters which I really want to try.

Potatoes? LG is all about growing taters in her hillbilly buckets except we didn’t have much luck with the blue taters. I might plant a sprinkling of them and see what goes. LG will grow red and I think yellow.

TOMATOES! Here’s the thing, I don’t do well with the large sized tomatoes. I’m thinking I should just give up and accept that I am a small tomato growing gal and leave it at that. Besides, I found white tiny toms. WHITE! And I only have space to hang 10 tomato plants so if I want Sungold, which I do, and Chocolate Cherry, which I also do AND Italian Ice (white) and regular cherry and also maybe grape I’m already locking up 5 buckets. I think I’d want to plant at least two plants so there’s my bucket complement. OK! I have decided: 3 Sungold, 3 Chocolate Cherry, 2 Italian Ice and 2 some other tomatoes, be they big or small. LG found some sort of “perfect for buckets” tomatoes that I’ll try out.

I think maybe sugar pumpkins, tiny squash, more tiny squash and potatoes is probably enough for the big garden. Maybe I’ll see what seeds I have lying about and see if I can get them to sprout. Then I’ll have something new to throw in the garden and it won’t have cost me anything. Hmmmm.

Then next part though, is that the garden still needs to be cleared to the fence. Hate. But this year I will do this task and finally become a real gardener. Maybe.

2010: I had a severe moment of disorientation. WHERE WAS I??!?? WHAT’S WITH ALL THE ROOM!!?! WHERE IS THE LIBRARY!!!

2009: I think at one time I actually unlocked Narnia from the control pad there for a bit. Still, our new baby BizHub wrocks.

2008: For the love of GOD! Plant pr0n!

2007: I am thinking we need elderberries.

2006: JSFR: Coffee Marshmallow

2005: And bulbs for the easement renovation.

2004: I opened the latest Amazon package that had arrived on our doorstep: Stargate SG-1, Season 6! We are complete.

2003: I just made the crust for my ultimate cheese cake and I snagged a few of the thin mints while vaporizing them. Were they tasty? Well sorta. Did my stomach gurgle and heave? You bet. And did I learn my lesson? Of course not.

Leave a Reply