And the Moon and the Stars are the Same Ones You See

Mor-Ti-Fied! Do you know where today’s sampling of lyrical interludation comes from? It’s been nebulously stuck in my head since last night when I thought I had finally figured out the damn moon and its waxing and waning thing. Of course, I only have part of the lyrics so I thought I’d google them (Google and me, BFF!) to see what the rest of the song was. It’s not an easy snatch of tune to google, especially when all you have in your head is “The Moon and the stars are the same up above” and another snippit which hums “It’s the same old sun up in the sky” and that’s it. IT! Half of my it isn’t even right. Do you know how many moon, sun, star, sky, lyrics there are? Every goddamned body is writing about the moon and the stars and the sky and the sun. It’s like they are all some sort of important symbolic something or other. Jeebus!

Either that or all the song writers can’t figure out what the damned moon actually does when it waxes and wanes so they whine about it musically. Yes, I’ll admit it, I have no idea how the moon visually goes from full to waning to nothing. Waxing I figured out a while ago (and hold on to your plork because you are about to be dumped smack dab into boo space) when I went crazy trying to figure out which was what when the moon did its moon thing. Waxing sounded to me like waxing eloquent, which is another way to say “blathering the ears off of people” or maybe full of bull. So! When the moon waxes, it gets full and wala! Waxing is going from new to full moon via boo space which detours you right through nattering. Waning, logically, must be the other way or shutting up. Yes, the moon shuts up for half a month.

ANYWAY! That still doesn’t address the visual problem, which I have half solved (the waxing part, as clearly I have an affinity with waxing as it pertains to blather). When the moon is that neat little crescent that sort of slivers the bottom left quadrant (yes, the moon not only is a conversationalist, it also appears to have quadrants despite being round. Just draw a box and extrapolate) it fills up, or waxes with moon light until it is full. Tada! You do not want to know how long that took me to figure out. First off, you have to catch the moon when it is new or full so you know where it’s going. Then you have to observe the moon for a couple of day to see what it is actually doing. Lastly you have to remember to do all this while suffering from Shiny! which…yeah. I suppose you could also look it up in a book (the net wasn’t around so much when I had my moon thing) but that’s a lot like work.

Waxing? Solved! Waning? How does the light go away when the moon wanes? Is there ever a crescent moon in the upper right half of the moon face? I can’t remember. 35 damned years of looking up in the sky and I’m not entirely sure if the moon can have a sort of upsidown crescent hovering there. Does the light fall out of the moon when it wanes leaving the hovering upsidown crescent? You know, I don’t think the moon ever does go upsidown like that (but I’m not betting the farm on that) so then…does it have a reverse crescent on the other side? Does it just lose light like it waxed light and there is only one right facing crescent? I even looked at the moon last night because I knew it was waning and I can’t tell! Damned moon changes so slowly I can’t figure out from which side the light drains.

That’s it, I’m googling moon phases. Hold on. Hmmm, that’s mighty weird, I just found a grouping of pictures that is trying to tell me that the moon fills and darkens from side to side. Does it? I swear the crescent has a slight tilt, otherwise the DreamWorks kid can’t sit in it and fish. Oh! OK, I see. The site I found is all in Spanish so their moon looks like it does wax and wane from side to side. There are other moon pics where the crescent is slightly angled and for the web visual record, it does fill and empty from side to side, even if that side is skewed and the other crescent sits in the lower right quadrant. Is it an equatorial positioning thing? Does a Spanish moon fill and empty from side to side? I’ll have to go to Spain and see! And of course I’ll have to spend a month there, maybe two (Shiny!) to test my hypothesis.

I can not believe that I don’t know how the second biggest ball of bright in the sky cycles. It’s the frekkin MOON! I also can not believe the tune that meandered into my head is a John Denver tune. Now I have no more shameful secrets left to hide from you folk.

I will mention that the Smithee primaries, which will be happening between the new moon and the first quarter moon, will be on November 5th, 8pm at the Union. So now y’all can come and help with the A2 balloting and maybe the badness will drive out the fact that I just spent an entire entry telling you I have no idea how the moon works and that I have a John Denver tune stuck in my head. I don’t even want to address the possibility that I have my quasi moon lore completely backwards so I’ll end by saying “Come to the Mini-Smithees, hone the ballot, these are not the moon phases you were looking for, you don’t need to remember this entry”.

Last year at the booniverse: Of course since Sis was the primary lesson giver with the tasty tray of training weenie bits, afterwards whenever anyone tried to get the pup to lie down, Lucy would haul off and lie in front of Sis.

Last last year at the booniverse: Nothing for you to see here, musta been a new moon.

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