April Fools Answered

1. At the writing of this post, I am half way through reading the Hugo winners. FALSE

At the writing of this post I am 41% of the way through reading all the Hugo winners. Currently there are 59 books and I’ve finished 24 of them which is a decent and respectable progress. I might see if I can up the percentage to half by the end of this year just because it seems doable. I also track which Nebula winners I’ve read and that’s a little sadder a number at 26%. Apparently I’m a sci-fi kinda gal, especially if you take into account that of the 12 Nebulas I’ve read, 9 of them also won the Hugo award. If I weren’t reading Hugos I’d be at 6% (scientifically rounded) Nebula completion and that is truly sad.

2. TheMan and I own 5 dictionaries. FALSE

In prepping for this April Fool’s Book edition of True or False, I thought to myself, “Self, as best as I can remember we have a metric shit ton of dictionaries. More than I think a normal household should.” So that night I went about and gathered up all 14 dictionaries we own and I’m still missing my Dictionary of film Terms. I might have given that one away actually although in the mad search for dictionaries I came across all the other film text books which I thought I actually did give away but apparently haven’t. Also of interest to note, of our 14 dictionaries 6 of them are foreign language dictionaries and 4 of them are specifically German-English dictionaries. One is an actual German dictionary…sort of the Hans Webster of dictionaries as it were. There is also a Saints dictionary and a dictionary of biology that I have no idea where it came from or why I have it.

3. The oldest book we own is my Grandma’s pre WWII cookbook. FALSE

Observant booniverse readers might guess ‘true’ here because I featured said book a couple of April Fool’s ago. Observant readers would have been right if I hadn’t been looking for dictionaries and stumbled across what I thought was my German copy of A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court but actually turned out to be my Grandfather’s trig text book from 1932. I also have no idea why I have that book. TheMan and I had an interesting discussion about “oldest text” versus “oldest print” so we tried to think of what we owned which would be the oldest text. Working backwards from Shakespeare, then Chaucer and perhaps Beowulf we suddenly remembered that we have bibles which blow all those old writings out of the water in terms of age. Then I thought, “Wait a minute, I own Sun Tzu’s The Art of War…when was THAT written?” because if there was one thing which was going to give the bible a run for its longevity money, I was betting Sun Tzu just might. As it turns out, according to Godzilla the bible is about 600 years older than The Art of War.

4. I won an ARC copy of John Scalzi’s Fuzzy Nation by submitting my mother’s age as my random number guess. FALSE

Sadly, I did not win but I did enter his end of March contest and because it was on my mumse’s birthday I did put in her age as my “pick a number between 1 and 1000” guess. Sadly, by the time I posted there were 1039 guesses so someone had already picked my number. Still, I tried and I think it’s awfully rotten for the universe to not give me a book for shamelessly exploiting my mother’s birthday like that. I am very disappointed in you Universe.

5. If you asked me what my all time favorite book is, I would tell you David Brin’s Startide Rising TRUE

Finally New Jersey comes up with a True answer. And yes, I highly recommend this book even though it’s the second book in a trilogy. The Uplift War saga is awesome in that you can jump right in to book 2 or book 3 or book 1 and not have to know anything about the other books. Reading book 2 and then book 3 makes book 3 a little more interesting but it’s not necessary. Now go read Startide Rising because it’s awesome!

6. My Favorite cookbook is the Joy of Cooking. FALSE(ish)

If I had my druthers, all cookbooks would be laid out like the Betty Crocker Cookbook for ease of getting your cooking shit together and doing the deed. Betty is awesome for that. Ingredients BOOM all there. Oven temp BOOM just after. Then there is the fiddly bits of the when and how to. Betty is logical and cooks like I cook so whenever I need a recipe from my books, I hope it’s in Betty. That said, Joy is a superb resource for “How do I do THAT? (filet a fish, bone a bird, zest a lemon)” plus Joy has quite a bit more meat to the recipes. Betty doesn’t have some of the basic recipes you might think a book ought to and that always surprises me. No Zucchini bread Betty? Really? Joy on the other hand has got you covered for just about any usual variation of whatever it is that you are making. The thing I really hate about Joy is that the layout sucks mighty mighty moose wang. Every time I use Joy I’m always paranoid I’ll miss something because Joy has a few ingredients listed and then a ramble of recipe blather and then, in the middle of the recipe blather, there will be one or more ingredients. I forgot to put sugar in pumpkin bread once because Joy was all flour, baking soda, eggs, oil, blah blah blah blah (sugar) blah blah blah cook time. Betty would have had the sugar up with everything else where I expect it to be.

7. We own all the Terry Prachett books in hard cover. FALSE…for now!

We do own all the Terry Prachett books but a goodly number of them are in soft cover. That said, TheMan is on a epic quest to turn his Paper Prachett…Pamphlets (? I needed a P) into a sea of hardcover beauties. I think we have most of the later books in hard cover and just need to pick up the earlier books. Which gets expensive.

8. We weren’t in the States when Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince was released but we bought it anyway and now have a European sized hardcover copy. TRUE

When this Harry Potter came out, TheMan and I were in Canada doing the Transweb thing. We were bummed about not being able to get our mitts on a copy, because they were awesome, but then we said, “Hey! Canada reads! Lets go look.” We did and they had a few copies left…one of which came back with us. It’s a little shrimpy due to the exchange rate but it was a good story none the less.

9. We have a signed copy of I Have No Mouth and I must Scream. TRUE

TheMan does indeed. It’s a crappy copy because he was a poor college student and that’s all he could afford (from the second hand store). He reports that Harlan Ellison was mighty gracious about it.

10. All our books are shelved neatly where they are supposed to go. FALSE

BWA! HAHAHHAHHAhHHAHHHAHA! Oh that is the funniest thing. No, no indeed we do not have enough book space for everything we have. There has been a category of…reference books maybe? Where do you put The Zombie Survival Guide or The Complete Libretto to The Mikado? Anyway, that stack has been living on the floor for about 4 years now. Other books are living sideways on top of where they go alphabetically and there is an entire stack of books we’ve bought but haven’t read on the floor in the other corner. We needs shelvez!

2010: Nothing to see, move along or put up some more shelves for me.

2009: Tax day is a no posting kind of day lately.

2008: The State is a greedy tax sucking pig-cow, but they are grudgingly giving us money back this year.

2007: Tax man too stingy to leave an update or put up my shelves.

2006: JSFR: Koeda Chocolate (orange)

2005: I’m betting Isaak immediately crawled into the new kitty cave while Vande attacked the bottom (now top) because IT WAS MOOOOOOVING!!

2004: Taxes are hard!

2003: But monays is nice! Apparently nicer than updating. Nicer than shelves? That too.

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