If I Listen to Your Lies Would You Say

Incase you are curious, today’s lyrical theme might very well have been “Even if we’re just dancing in the dark” but the above seemed just a wee bit more appropriate. Plus, I am sort of partial to lines that aren’t the title of the song (which would be just about any line from a Led Zeppelin tune. HA!) so Karma it is. I’m also not so sure there isn’t some sort karma thing going on around here. Good or bad, it’s hard to tell at the moment.

I’m talkin’ about DTfuckinE. Either I pissed off the gods of electricity most egregiously in a former life or DTfuckinE is due for some walloping comeuppance because there is some down right Nasty going on. What Nasty? Coming home to find the house completely dark and a note from DTfuckinE explaining that our bill is past due and they’re pullin’ the plug Nasty. Buh-bye lights, buh-bye heat (cuz y’all know DTfuckinE is the gas company too? Yeah! Your one stop shopping utility yanking company!) buh-bye financial department that all goes home at 5 or 4 or 6 or much earlier than when we got home. So! The upshot was it was a mighty chilly night at the Q house.

And also WTF? (no BBQ)

I’m quite sure we would have remembered a nastygram in the mail saying “Pay us or lights out” because that’s exactly what TheMan does every month when he sits down with the bills. If DTfuckinE isn’t getting their money and we’re paying it to them we’d really like to know about that too. Oddly, whenever we DO get a nastygram, TheMan calls them up and gives them what for because he already sent in the payment for the bill they are all cranky about. Eventually they rummage around in their files and lo! What could this be? Why…your payment! Chaos, I tell you. We’ve even redone the on-line payment thing just in case something was glitchy with the first one but apparently that hasn’t worked either. I guess current policy is to just bift the lights and wash their hands of it, which…HEY! What…why…LOOK IN THE DAMNED BANK (or wherever the money goes when we send it to them) BEFORE JUST FLIPPING SWITCHES!!

Obviously what we have here is a failure to communicate…and a trigger happy company.

Oh! There was quite the level of consternation floating about the domicile of Q. As usual, TheMan did the bills in plenty of time (check it out – the bill isn’t due until the 31st of this month and he sent the mo-nay off on the 24th) yet the juice was quit to the house like we were some sort of crack-ho couple squatting on borrowed electricity. We were left in the dark and nothing could be done until the bean counters came back to work the next day because of [insert drum roll f/x here]…non payment issues! Non payment issues? Dudes, the bill is due on the 31st…what…why…LOOK IN THE DAMNED BANK BEF-well, OK to late that but…oh, right. The Bean counters are the ones who look into the bank or wherever and they wont be in until the next day. Grrrr! And also Brrrr!

Sadly, I think we lost three of our wines due to the cold of not having an operable furnace (gas! Which is due on the 31st and paid on the 24th but apparently cut off yesterday), which caused them to suck water in from their locks as they SLOWLY FROZE TO DEATH! And! I just read that a fridge can only be off for 2-4 hours before you have to chuck the food in it and…damnit! DTfuckinE and their fucking billing interface. What could I have possibly done to piss off the utility gods this much in my past life and get this tangle landed on my lap? Or, if it’s the other way around and we are being the repository for all of DTfuckinE’s bad karma, well then y’all karma gods can cut that out right now. Not amused!

On the other hand, we are well set for having no power, heat or niceties as such. We have a grill, which runs on its own little propane tank (not regulated by any sort of trigger happy anybody) and about three million Maglite flashlights (see! I knew they would all come in handy! And you laugh at my obsession with them…laugh no more! Muahahaha-oh wait. Sorry) plus a bazillion candles which may or may not also be an obsession of mine. It’s like camping out in your own home! Take that DTfuckinE! We? Are not phased. We? Can get by just fine, thanyouverymuch, while you sort out the billing system. We? Took a very brisk shower this morning and really hope this can be resolved sometime today. Otherwise, I can’t say that I’m entirely responsible for any spontaneous organ rearranging I might or might not initiate. Showers from a non functioning hot water tank will put a person in a creative mood.


Last year at the booniverse: Too chilly to write!

Last last year at the booniverse: Freezin and not writing!

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