When Some Trendy New Atrocity Has Brought You to Your Knees

Wherein I take you from Harriet Meirs to cave men and women. Only in the booniverse does that logical leap exist! And also, Boo points for yous who know the title song for today. Heck, *I* don’t even really know this song but a housemate of mine got the album and I was tickled pink by the title. And? It’s topical!

Yesterday, the mighty day of returning power and gas (and heat and WARM WATER!), I zoomed out to K-Roget’s to pick up some perishables that didn’t make the long haul of bleak refrigeratorlessness. On the way I saw a “Pro-Life” bumper sticker on the car ahead of me and I thought, “You know, if I ever ran for office, like say the Supreme Court (which I’m just as qualified for! No really! At least I have written opinions all over the booniverse. Cell phones? I have a stand on them! Cliques? Them too! The color Blue? Look no further than these cyber pages), I’d really have to have a stance on some of the tougher issues like abortion.” Then I asked myself, “Self? What IS your stance on abortion?”

Oooo! Good questions and one you can’t just “Hey look, Shiny!” away if you are going to be the next Supreme Court nominee. So I thought, and I thought, and I said, “Well, I’d have to say I’m Pro-Choice, but I don’t think *I* could ever have an abortion. I’d also hope the women who choose abortion gave it some good serious thinks but I don’t feel comfortable deciding for them how they are to live.” And there you have it.

Also at this point in time I had arrived at the glorious K-Rogets and proceeded to try and remember my shopping list because once again I was at the store sans list. I even remember folding it up and taking it with me but no pocket I turned out was harboring said list. (I found it this morning in my purse. Le Sigh.) I will have to say, I was mightily distracted at this point from the pro-life/pro-choice debate by the shiny blankies they had on sale (perfect for the couches! I’ve been looking for couch cover blankets for months now…whoda thunk they’d turn up at K-Rogets?) and the 10 for $10 sale in the cheese aisle. 10 for $10 cheeses? Damn, I’d put a whole lot on hold for 10 for $10 cheeses. They had lots of different types of cheeses and for a buck a cheese you can’t say no. Especially if you had to back out of a cheese tray because DTfuckinE unexpectedly drained your bank account a lot more than you were counting on. Anyone else have a $600 gas and electric bill this month? Anyone not a corporate entity? Anyway, I got my cheeses and some crackers and waltzed out of there. The cheese tray was on!

Only when I got home did I remember that I was making a stance on abortion for political office so let TheMan in on the insanity. Then I went off on a nut about the ‘Life Begins at Conception’ people because why start with conception? Conception is just one egg and one lucky sperm getting it on and having a meiosis fest and going division happy. That two or four or eight celled mass isn’t that much different from the original egg and sperm, why isn’t that one lucky sperm also sacred? Why don’t we go back further than conception and start regulating sperm dispersal…after all any one of those sperm can become a child! They are all potential half lives, why aren’t we calling in Joe Average for killing a bunch of half lives when he’s having himself a good time with a Playboy behind locked doors? The femi-Nazi in me thinks it’s awfully convenient to go all righteous and life and sacred and MURDERER (say that in a Gollum voice, it’s really rather amusing. Gollum, Pro-Lifer!) when the ball is in the woman’s court. People who feel they need to meddle in the lives of other people make me cranky.

This conversation rambled on into dinner (which were very tasty brats cooked up by TheMan) where I tried to make the very logical point that really, the guy can’t do a whole lot, biologically speaking, when the kid is gestating. Unfortunately it came out more like “You know, biologically the guy does jack when the chick is preggers”. Not my most eloquent. TheMan took exception to this and explained that the guy has quite a lot to do, like go out and stab dinosaurs to eat for dinner. Then, when the woman was done with the kid thing, she could come help with the stabbity of dinner.

I don’t know…did cave women go out and stab dinosaurs when they weren’t having and raising kids? That just doesn’t seem like a cave woman type thing to me. They probably didn’t stay home and keep the cave as what all is there to do with rock and dirt? TheMan said maybe they were the gatherers of the hunter/gatherer society of cave people. That would make sense, after all I was the one who did the gathering today (cheese!) while TheMan went and stabbitied some brats for dinner.

So it seems we haven’t come so far from our cave ancestors after all, we just expand our rolls to fit different circumstances. All I have to say about that is, 10 for $10? WORSHIP MY CHEESE GATHERING SKILLS!

Last year at the booniverse: TheMan and I are boring old farts and as such have been parking ourselves in front of the TV and watching us some Monk.

Last last year at the booniverse: Sensei’s foo dog now comes in that special “noseless” variety. Oops.

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