Sweet Sixteen My Kitten Beleaguered Hiney

Thoughts of an old grumpy cat

You would think that once you reach the ripe old age of 16 you would have a cushy life and that everyone would dote on you and feed you crunchies whenever you wanted them. You would be wrong.

First off, I have to deal with these two. 14 years of Isaak, as spaz as he was, is nothing compared to just 15 minutes with these two.

Case in point: The Tiny One just won’t quit. When she wants nap space she sits and sits and sits until you just give up growling and smacking at her. I think she might be a little soft in the head actually…I mean what cat just sits there when you growl and smack them in the head? No real cat, that’s who. Growling and smacking is universal cat for “Go away nutter-butt” and cat law says you can have a miff or two about it but go you must. Everyone except her.

Maybe the TinyOne’s mom didn’t teach her the finer points of cat cuz she just sits there and looks at me when I growl and smack. I give up. I suppose she doesn’t take up that much space anyhow.

Speaking of Nutter-butt…what is WITH this Tycho cat? He has got a screw loose I tell you what. All the growling and smacking I’m not doing to the TinyCat I save up for him and his stupid antics. Boy does not speak cat well either. I’m 16, I DO NOT WANT TO PLAY!

Doesn’t he already have a cat to play with? Isn’t that why there are two of them?

When I’m not getting ninja bounced by Fluff-for-brains or my tail is being attacked by Small-and-stupid (what is with that cat and tails? There is definitely something wrong with the Tiny One) things are going alright. I get to nap up on the dresser now, thanks to the kitten invasion. It’s pretty tall up here, I like the view when I’m not in the mood for a more comfy snooze on the bed.

I also get squishy food on a regular basis and chicken every now and then. Of course I’d much prefer the change-up in delicious foods without also having to deal with kittens but you take the good with the obnoxious. Besides, I do not have to perform tricks to get my food and CatMon makes the kittens jump up ridiculously before she’ll feed them. I laugh every time.

So what are my big plans for the day? I think I’ll take a nap. And then who knows? Maybe look for some scritchins, possibly steal some of the kittens food (HA! bet you didn’t count on that, you little vagabonds!), maybe nap in two places.

2010: Guess who’s not the favorite cat.

2009: Left paw quick death strike. Zombie down!

2008: I was going to do a day in the life of the Little Kitty but it would be a series of pictures of her sleeping on the back of the chair.

2007: Oi! I almost forgot! It was somebody’s birthday today.

2006: (All I wanted to do on my birthday was sit in the chair but I can’t even do that because of these stupid Smithee giveaways)

2005: But first, guess who is 10 years old today!!!

2004: I love to chase things (noisily) across the floor to somewhere I can’t get to them.

2003: Too young for an entry I suspect.

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