And I Started Jumpin Up And Down Yelling, “KILL, KILL,”

It’s been over a month and I’m still dorking with the lyrics. Also, in honor of Thanksgiving Week, I’m going to make it easy on myself and those of you who actually wonder where the lyrics come from and take a cue from the classic rock stations. You actually can get anything you want. But first, the weekend!

Friday night our gaming plans fell through, sadly, but Mark-Matt got a Harry Potter bug up his hinder and by the end of the day we had new plans: Dinner and Harry. Well, technically it was margaritas and Harry but we paid our token obligation to dinner too. Mmm, margaritas. I’ll give you a little boocentric what for about the movie with, I hope, very few spoilers.

First off, I think they did a fantastic job translating 700+ pages into a 2.5 hour long movie. I was wondering how they were going to cram everything in there and not have it run like a check list of the book (my main problem with the Prisoner of Azkaban…or as Joel put it, ‘The Prisoner of Ass Cabin’). Goblet is a far more involved book than Prisoner was and Prisoner as a movie had no soul at all. Oh, the movie was dutiful to the book and they did their darndest to get every little detail right but I think they sacrificed the character of the film for book accuracy. Goblet did some pretty harsh editing, which I guess is cranking the die hard Potter fans, but it is a much better watch for the cuts. Some plotlines didn’t even make it in the film (think Tom Bombadill from Lord of the Rings. He never made an appearance and I don’t think those films suffered from it. Same sort of thing here) but I didn’t miss them.

I also think that Goblet has much more soul, be it from the harsh editing which allowed for more character development or whether the kids have finally come into their own as actors, I really felt for the big three this time around. Radcliffe nails the whole confusion and isolation which plagues Harry in the book, Grint looses the ‘channeling Jim Carry’ he had going in Prisoner and actually gets down to some acting! He’s not bad. He does jealous best friend right good too. And Watson is a real cutie! Did you know that Ralph Fiennes is Voldemort? I had no idea until the end credits.

Anyway, it’s a good watch and I do believe I’ll be preordering it when it comes around.

Our Saturday plans got nixed as well so TheMan and I loafed around playing Warcraft. Oh yes we did. CrazyGnome Tan hit 38 (whooo!) and we finally finished the warlock robe quest. Huzzah! We even wound up being chased by a half dozen Horde town guards when we accidentally discovered a horde outpost in a new area we were wandering around in. Dude, run! We made it out alive and I got the gnommie some new stylin robes.

Later on we hosted Badmovie and LunarGeography in a fun filled midget movie night (or as badmovie was want and somewhat oft to say “fun-sized people”. Yeah, we were most and quite politically incorrect for a good deal of the evening) with appropriately themed snacks. Badmovie and LunarGeography brought shortbread and I picked up some midget dills, tater tots and mini-milanos. Sadly, I didn’t even think to pick up a case of Coronitas. That would have been perfect. All of this was to get us in the mood to watch the all midget/dwarf cast “The Terror of Tiny Town” and the mostly midget/dwarf cast Anklebiters. Sadly, or maybe refreshingly, Tiny Town was a decent (scaled down) western. We really couldn’t clip anything for Smithee use, but I was amused to pieces watching our hero and our villain race across the western landscape on their mighty and noble Shetland Pony steeds. Heh. OK, I know that short people need short horses to ride but somehow watching a dramatic moment of galloping as portrayed by a Shetland Pony is a little bit like watching a wiener dog rescue Timmy from the well. Yeah, it’s a dog and yeah, it rescued poor well bound Timmy but…it a wiener dog for cripes sake! There is just something not so majestic about a Shetland Pony galloping across the plains.

Believe you me, there was a lot of Shetland Pony galloping too so I was amused for most of the flick. They even had a Shetland Pony stage coach. STAGECOACH! I think the best part was when our hero and our villain were having a shoot out and our hero’s Mighty Shetland Pony Steed freaked out on camera from the noise and took off in a panic. I guess there aren’t a whole lot of trained western film Shetland Ponies out there. Hi Ho Silverette-yahhh! Where are you going? Wait! Ahhhhh!

Anklebiters was a much better Smithee flick. Did you know that dwarf vampires can only beget other dwarf vampires? Yup! So if a midget sized vampire comes biting your neck, don’t worry! He’s just going for the kill because he can’t turn you. Well, unless you are a dwarf, in which case you are screwed. But! If they can find the sword of the last big vampire they can make a big person into a vampire (by stabbing them with the sword) and then start their vampire revolution. I guess there aren’t any midget not already turned vampires left. Or something.


The flick had some really interesting props and filming gizmos for its obviously B caliber. We saw a really nice crane shot, they had both an ambulance and a police car (from the local town), several different locations, a zippy go fast performance car, a good handful of souped up trikes and a nicely snazzy Rolls-Royce. Of course we never saw the Rolls go any faster than about 15 miles an hour but they still had one. That’s a surprising amount of quality stuff for a film like Anklebiters. We all thought they might have given up some of the camera pretty in order to get a better lyricist though, the main theme had exactly six words (this theme is just six words long!): THREE FEET TALL! TWO INCH FANGS! [insert fuzz guitar chords here]. Repeat ad nausium.

Sunday we went to church to show our support and solidarity to the people who aren’t wacko-crazy. A bunch of Kansas religious zealots decided to come all the way to our little spot of sanity and spread their anti-homosexual hate. They picketed the showing of the Laramie Project in town and then Sunday decided to spread out to a couple of churches in the area. Evidently ELCA is sin, or at least according to one of their signs. They don’t so much like the fact that the church (and I think the synod) is tolerant of gays (because, you know, all gays are evil and must burn and whatever else they were spouting out of their rancid pie holes). We just had a good chuckle at them and went back into the warm church. Heh! Poor crazies, all out there in the cold. Awwww! There were a couple of Vets that showed up too (these Kansas crazies like to go to the funerals of the soldiers and preach that God killed the soldier because…hell I don’t know. Whatever their message, it’s pretty poor to go disrupt a funeral service because you have some religious bug up your butt about the U.S.’s stance on the war. Did that dead soldier single-handedly declare war? I don’t think so and you don’t need to be spouting your hate at the bereaved, thankyouverymuch) which was cool to see.

These crazies are so way out there with their message of intolerance and hate that they give even the conservative Christian nuts hives. That’s…well kinda funny actually but also really whacked.

After that, we went home, I napped (yay), and then we finished off the evening at DQ’s having dinner and watching some more Stargate.

Last year at the booniverse: Them Kansas Crazies protested so hard that my plork exploded and I couldn’t write an entry for you.

Last last year at the booniverse: TheMan states that tomorrow he will have been (I love the English language, past and present verb tenses to indicate a future happening all in one serving) blogging for a year but in fact last November 21st was his first entry.

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