An Unfortunate Catastrophic Collision Between a Bakery and a Flower Shop

This one, in contrast, smells like the pleasant explosion of a generic citrus stand.

I ran out of the last of my St. Ives had cream which…yay on not having any more greasy moisturizer but boo on finding a replacement hand cream for work. Fortunately, way back in late spring/early summer, the ahhh…people what hand out free samples had a bunch of blue gingham clad ladies on bicycles with several baskets of sample sized stuff. I picked up two hand creams, the True Blue above and something else. Hold on…OK, I can’t find it exactly but it I think it was a Bath and Body Works Signature Collection body lotion. It at least has the same bottle shape as that line but I can’t find what it was exactly.

Come to think on it, it was probably the ‘Bath and Body Works Gingham Girls’ who were out with free samples. Why are there no B&BW guys? Hrmph.

Anyway, I picked up the two lotions and today I cracked into the one I can’t find on their site anymore. Holy WAH they perfumed the beegeebus outta Strange Unfindable Signature Hand Lotion. It’s a weird scent too, incredibly floral with a hint of…baked goods? Whatever it was, I became a miasma about 2 minutes after rubbing a modest amount of cream on my hands. On the plus side, my hands did not react to the scented lotion (every now and then I’ll get a scented lotion that makes me itch like crazy) but on the down side the pow’ful odor was kicking at my asthma and also making people in my general vicinity pass out.

Thus, after 10 minutes, I “washed” it off. Save nothing really happened other than my hands became clean yet stinky. So I went back and gave them a good concentrated scrubbing but no no effect. I then grabbed a bunch of alcohol wipes and went at my hands like they were a keyboard belonging to a cheeto munching computer slob and still…miasma. Two more soap scrubbings later I was tolerable while not in a confined location (say a car) but blimey I stunk. I even tried overlaying another hand cream on top of the floral explosion which…I do not recommend.

Weirdly, my hands remained silky smooth through all of that. Props for the magic softening attributes of stinky-rub.

So my guess is that while the signature line has mad phat skin conditioning properties, it also has a smell which can clear a building. Good if you live somewhere dry where no one has scent allergies (or the ability to detect scent at all) but not so great otherwise. I am sad because daaaang did it do a fantastic job with the moisturizing bit. When my sense of smell returns, I’ll have to see if the True Blue is as bad or good.

2010: They really should sell coffee and donuts at the polls, they would totally clean up. The five or so of us in line wholeheartedly agreed; especially since none of us had yet had coffee. Or donuts.

2009: Saturday was a giant waste of Halloween. I don’t want to talk about it, Halloween and I aren’t speaking anymore. Hrrmph.

2008: JSFR: Maeil Caffe Latte (mocha)

2007: I mean, how could you not get a Pittzu or a Sharpschund or a Dalhuahua?

2006: I bet you would buy coffee and donuts while standing in line to vote.

2005: BTW, “Francois” is in the Word dictionary. See? SEE!

2004: Exercise your right to have a say in our country’s leadership and all that rah rah vote stuff. No really, it’s good for you.

2003: I wonder if they released the rest of the dinners back into the wild once they figured out we weren’t going to order them? I forgot to ask.

Leave a Reply