O Turkey, My Turkey

You know this is going to be a Deep and Meaningful entry because it precedes itself with the all important sounding “O”. But what could be so earth shattering and important that it needs to be announced with the harbinger O of stupendous situations? How about a weekend recap…a BIRTHDAY weekend recap?

That and I cooked a turkey.

What?

Heh. Anyway, Friday was my birthday which went pretty darned well. I didn’t get but one card *sniff*, instead I got a metric ton of birthday goodies from everybody *uuuuurp*. That pretty much sealed my theory about birthday cards being able to transmogrify into tasty, tasty birthday treats. You heard it here first, folks! And also, I am so glad we didn’t go to Paesanno’s or I wouldn’t be here to type today’s entry. How about a wafer thin mint?

My plans for a gamer’s night in went as well as a plan can go when one person gets a bug up their butt about another project entirely and dinks around doing the second project instead of the plan. Don’t knock it, that’s where your Friday blog entry came from, BTW. Hold on, did I just say I pulled my birthday entry out of my ass? I do believe I did. Now I’m amused (and perpetually 4 years old). We watched a little bit of Law & Order (we must have, it’s on all the damned time), a tad of the Friday night line up and eventually cooked us up some pizzas. Yeah, I know. I didn’t think I’d ever get hungry either but five hours is ample enough time for a stomach to churn through cupcakes, cookies, cake, flounder, mousse, chocolate and a breakfast muffin.

If you ever get the chance to cook up an Uno’s frozen pizza, do so. They were the BOMB! We got a spinacholi and a 4 cheese and I tell you, both were like tiny round, quartered slices of heaven. The 4 cheese had veggies on it (!!) too which…holy cow! I was prepared for plain pizza with at least two different tasting cheeses (really, how many cheeses can one taste when they are all baked together? It wouldn’t surprise me at all if most 4, 5, 6 cheese pizzas were really only 2 cheese pizzas) but when I cut into it I found tomatoes, broccolis, and other things which I can’t rightly remember stuffed under the cheese. I thought at first I had cracked into the spinacholi pizza, except the second one had spinach in it. Dead give away there.

The only thing I really disliked about the whole deal was that the cooking instructions said to ‘grease a cookie sheet with a film of oil before baking the whole kit and caboodle’. Have you ever tried to get baked on oil off a cookie sheet? I had to take steel wool to it because my decent scrubby was just pissing the sticky baked oil goo off and murching it around the surface. Fortunately, and entirely happenstancelly, I threw the pizzas onto a cookie sheet an old housemate had once used to bake a pizza on, and then used as a cutting board to cut said pizza. Not to bright, that one, but at least it meant that if the steel wool scrubbed all the coating off the sheet, I’d not be heart broken. Awwww, I’d need to get a new cookie sheet. Darn.

We then went and played some WoW. I can’t remember what we did, other than TheMan discovered that they are doing some sort of Lunar Festival event and that if you went and talked to the druid fellas you got goodies. Damn I’m getting old, what did we do in game Friday night?

Eh. Must not have been too exciting. Saturday was much more memorable because we went ‘splorin! ‘Splorin is one of my favorite (and most lethal to date) things to do with the crazy gnome. Our plan was to kill a bunch of things that hate another bunch of things which guard a pass to a section we hadn’t been in. Easy enough, we plowed through the first things like they were butter and got in good with the second things and then went ‘splorin! My coworker had already done the killing to get into the area but realized when we got to the southern most part of the zone that he had never been that far. There was a good reason for that too, which we found out pretty darned quick as 2 uber bad guys came frolicking out for a round of “beat the beejeebus out of the adventurers”. And thus, our cue to move on to bigger and better things.

We had the Saturday game followed by a girl’s night in (errr…that would be my Saturday night adventure. TheMan went home and played more WoW) and then the laziest Sunday known to the history of mankind. I did get the dishes done, although it took me all day for what would have been maybe an hour tops house project, and I cooked up the lentil loaf finally. I guess some things got done, but not nearly the things I had planned.

Ahhh, lentil loaf. It smelled great up until the point where I added the lentils and then everything started to go downhill from there. Sad. On the plus side, I made a mean pork chop dinner at the same time (saving the loaf for Monday night eats) but the loaf sucked so bad, not even really good pork chops could save me. I think I’m losing my cooking touch. First there was the No Joy squash bread, then the raw chicken fiasco, and now the bland and pasty lentil loaf of ennui.

I’m not even going to talk about the turkey. Note to self: Never buy off brand ‘terkey’, not even if it’s a sweet deal because almost catching the oven on fire is never a sweet deal. And what’s with the gelatinous turkey ooze? The drippings looked like some sort of poultry jell-o. That’s just not right. Also not right is a turkey spurting hot spurty turkey juice everywhere like it was a perforated bratwurst. Turkeys should not have a grease pulse! I’m just sayin.

Tonight I’m going to make stock out of my “night of the living carcass” turkey leftovers and hopefully not compound my bad cooking karma. Wish me luck!


Last year at the booniverse: Sunday dawned, we didn’t notice.

Last last year at the booniverse: Too busy dodging hot turky bits and not updating.

The year before at the booniverse: Food coma ate your entry.

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