Dance of the Salt Trucks

Yeah, OK like it’s April and not that I’m complaining or anything but if it’s got to snow on the seventh day of what in other years is usually deemed a spring month then dammit snow! I want the city shut down! I want so much snow that it fills up the light wells (and zen you will have snow in your light well!) at least past the first window pain. I want traffic to be neigh impossible. I want the danger of tree limbs coming down, roofs caving in, not being able to distinguish your snow car lump from your neighbors snow car lump. I want there to be at least 12 inches (heh!) of slick sticky steady snow on the ground with about six to eight more on the way. I want the University to call an inclement weather day!

Hey, I can dream can’t I? So yeah, it started snowing sometime after we went up to shower and before we came back down. TheMan was telling me that when he looked out there was no snow so he was wondering where our forecasted three to five inches of snow was. When I looked out after getting dressed, the world was completely white. How could you miss that? (OK, yeah but I didn’t have my glasses on that time alright? Moving on!) Easy, it just wasn’t there ten minutes ago. So we had a very sloppy drive in this morning. It took us over an hour to travel 20 miles, mostly in part to the Dancing Salt Trucks (you were wondering when I was going to get there no?). We got to this T intersection and sat there. And sat. And sat some more. Then we did some more sitting. Sat some, Ooo, we crept forward a foot! And then we sat. Sat. Creep. Sat. Sat. Cr – sat. Sat. Sat. Satsatsatsatsat until we decided something weird was going on. Occasionally we heard someone spinning their tires so we thought they were stuck but the little bitty six inch to whole foot creeps sorta shot that idea down. I was so ready to get out with the kitty litter and go chumping up to the head of the line and dole out offerings. If I had, I might have seen the cause of the problem.

Two salt trucks had almost lumbered through the intersection (going across the top of the T, assuming we were on the leg of the T) a while back and had parked themselves on the road. Silly us, we thought they were parked off to the side but no, they just stopped in the middle of the street and sat there. Sat. Sat. Sat. No one from our road could go anywhere because there were two big old salt trucks where we needed to be. Good, in that these were the only two salt trucks on the whole road I think (on a day like today, you might suppose they would have the trucks up and ready to go yes? Not so) but not so good that they were stopped in the middle of our intersection.

This left us waiting for about a half hour while they sat there, and then after the homicidal level of the stopped drivers was at its peek, they did this back and forth shuffle thing for a bit (no doubt to get us all excited that they were moving at all). So a back and forth and back again a couple of times in the intersection and when they were done with that they packed up their traveling road show and went back to whence they came. And when I say back, I don’t mean they turned around and headed out, oh no, that would make too much sense. Instead they just put em in reverse and beep beeped themselves backwards down the road. The lucky guy in front of us got to drive looking head on into the grille of the first (second?) big ass salt truck. Let me tell you, salt trucks are not the cheetahs of the driving world and even more so going backwards down the road.

So thanks to snow and the Dancing Salt Trucks I owed about an hour of work time. Hence the want for big snow. Next time if I’m going to be inconvenienced, it really ought to mean something. Snow dammit, snow like the wind! Errrrr…well something like that.

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