T-Minus One Month

AHHHH! AHH! AHH! AHHH! AHHHHHHHH! 31 tiny, fast evaporating, flitting, fleeting days until The Smithee Awards and I have NOTHING DONE! AHHHHH! AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHH!

I am the worst Promotions Ninja ever in the history of Promotions Ninjas everywhere and for all time. Damn! I’ve done so much nothing that if I were my manager, I’d have fired me back in February. Nothing. Noth-ing!!! Even a slack-luster Promotions Ninja would have had something done by now, maybe the sock puppets at least cut out or the buttons all ready to go but no. Not me. I’ve accomplished a grand total of some ZIP! a dozen Zilch! and a whole pack o’ Nada! It’s not like I didn’t see it coming either because heloo-ooo, April happens at the same time every year so what…was I somehow caught off guard this year? January, February, March, April…OH SHIT!!! April! How come nobody told me April came after March this year? Wahhhh! I thought I had at least three more months in there.

Looks like I’m going to have to kick it overtime to get everything done in time!


OK, OK, lemmie think this through. Buttons…flyers…gorp…puppets…supply check-OH! Wait, I took a cursory look at the Smithee Box o’ Doom while hanging with Meow the other day (mind you, I haven’t packed it up or even organized it or anything) and it looked ready to…errr…be organized. That’s something, right? Can you do half a check mark when you are checking off something on a list? Hrrrm. I usually don’t get to the box inspection until closer to the show anyhow (that being the time when I go through all the writing utensils to make sure they still write) so I’ll just set the Smithee Box Task back on the back burner and continue on. Living in denial is a beautiful thang!

La-la-la! I can’t hear you and your “April right around the corner” song!!!

Buttons. Oi! I gotta start littering the world with buttons the week of April 10th! Pshaw! That’s plenty of time. Why it’s only March! I only have to order the button parts, design the buttons, press a whole bunch of them and…uh-oh. Hrrmmm. Maybe I can order parts on my lunch hour. Oooo! And look, they do 2nd day air as a standard shipping option. If I can get my button parts here by next week sometime and my buttons designed and printed by next week sometime, I think I’ll be in pretty good shape. (La-la-la!)

Puppets. I don’t want to talk about puppets. At least I have the material to make them out of…hey! That’s another half check mark! Two halves make a whole right? Right! I gotta check mark! Whooo-oooo-ooooo! So I guess I’m not the worst Promotions Ninja ever in the history of Promotions Ninjas everywhere and for all time. Just mostly the worst Promotions Ninja ever in the history of Promotions Ninjas everywhere and for all time. Saved by a check mark! Woah. My new moniker really needs to be boiled down to something easier to say and look at doesn’t it? How about: TWPNEINHOPNEAFAT. *snicker* That doesn’t look much better as far as acronyms go but it does look pretty funny if you try to read it like SCUBA or RADAR.

Flyers. This is the easy one. We just drop in this year’s date where last year’s date is and let ’em fly. I don’t think I even need to be stressing about this yet since we already have the graphics designed and the paper to print them on. How hard is it to change 2 numbers? Heck, that’s practically done right now. Can I get another half check mark for that? No? Well I ought to be able to.

Gorp: This one truly is the only thing I don’t need to be stressing about because it’s food. Food shouldn’t be made a month in advance (unless it’s 1000 year eggs or something. In which case I am already really, really screwed) and plus, we need to wait until after Easter when the peanut M&Ms are on sale. It’s gotta be peanut M&Ms (and I ain’t paying full price for them), so there is no use buying everything else until the Ms are ripe for the buying. Wow, that’d be just a week before the Smithees. Plenty of time!


Last year at the booniverse: But I’m not going to talk about Easter because I’m in denial. Ain’t here yet!

Last last year at the booniverse: The fashion for booniverse denizens (population 1) is a nice soft mustardy yellow shirt (it is kind of the color of brown mustard mixed with a blobbit of mayo…I like it, very mayo-mustardy in a good way), matchy tan trouser socks (hey, I need to do laundry and ran out of fuzzy socks OK? Besides, I’m stylin in my snazzy trouser socks), sandals…because duhhhh and peridot accent jewelry.

The year before at the booniverse: Looking for that month between March and April, no time to update!

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