That Which Does Not Kill Me Is Smithee

Three days, folks, just three days.

There’s a whole lot of Smithee going on around here so don’t be surprised to hear it being blathered incessantly on these pages. You know, like SMITHEESMITHEESMITHEE or something of that ilk (possibly accompanied by a small dance, but not today because my plork is fried. Mmmm, fried plork). The prep work is coming along quite nicely; I purchased the rest of the gorp materials (I think this year I am going to put in almond M&Ms since I only have the two bags of peanut and TheMan doesn’t like almond. We do a “cast only” gorp when we go to Origins, which of course we wind up eating a lot more of since it stays in our rooms, and TheMan trumps all you Smithee goers. Not that I don’t love you all dearly (and bring friends! It’s a great show!) but I sleep with TheMan. It’s best to keep the one you sleep with happy). Wait a minute, do I need a period here? I’ve lost where I was going. FRIED PLORK!

Ooookay, let’s back track here. Blah blah blah…parenthetical blah blah…right! Smithee stuff. Monday I went over to DQ’s place and made popcorn for Sticky popcorn with her demonically tainted air popper. That critter was flinging popcorn all over the damn place (heh) but not in such a way that one might come to the conclusion that it was broken. Oh no. It was clever, the little satanic shit. It’d do its heating and whirry kernel repository spinning thing all happy like until you decided to go do something else (because look here; watching spinning popcorn kernels, while entertaining for a short time, gets boring mighty fast) and then POP! The precocious kernel of the batch would come flying out and more or less land in the catch pot. Occasionally it’d go flying off to parts unknown, but mostly it hit its intended target. A few more bright achievers would follow in suit along with a couple unpopped friends. Then the rest of the kernels would get all jealous and start to pop all at once, which would cause a jam up in the popper spout. No worries, they kept jostling and popping until they spilled out into the bowl. Still, not a problem.

Have you ever been stuffed in a packed bus or subway car? And then you can’t get out because everyone is pushing and shoving and you are trying not to smash the beejeebus out of a little old lady or some woman who is 12 months pregnant because you are nice like that, but nobody else is and the doors are only open for so long but the little old lady/pregnant woman is moving at glacial speed and you know you wont make it unless you either put your shoulder into it and help the little old lady/pregnant woman along or do like every body else and mow her the heck down and MOVE! Well that was exactly the last ten or so kernels to the T. The giant pile up of pop corn would blort out into the catch pot and the kernels who had to wait and wait and wait would finally come whipping out of the popper so fast that they didn’t care where they landed. They’d ricochet in all sorts of crazy directions hereto unforeseen by the designer of the guiding popper spout and attain escape velocity while doing it. The neighbors will be finding a few of those kernels on the far side of their house.

Then, THEN when you thought that possibly Beelzebub the popper was done, those one or two kernels which hadn’t popped when they came out with their friends would have a say. They’d be sitting there in their kernely splendor basking in the heat from the guiding popper spout while all the rest of the popcorn was wedging itself spectacularly in the popper and then when everyone was out, even the angry escape velocity popcorn, those unpopped kernels would suddenly explode into popped goodness. POW! And every time they would manage to fling one or two of their bowl mates out of the catch pot.

Finally, there was that one last kernel in the spinning kernel repository which hadn’t popped for the whole cycle, hadn’t popped when you picked up all the AWOL kernels, hadn’t popped when you turned the popper off to refill it so truly it must be a dud. It didn’t matter how long I left the popper going, the kernel was dead each and every time until I pulled off the guiding popper spout. Suddenly – FREEEEEEEDOM!

Damn popper had it in for me. Fortunately, my armor rating is significantly higher than popcorn’s attack rating.

Tuesday TheMan spray painted the Trash cans a beautiful gold and left them to dry in the garage. The puppets are picked, the show is edited (TheMan missed the popcorn air strike because he was putting the finishing touches on the show), the food and drink are collected, the gorp fixings are bought…there is not much else to do! Huzzah! Friday I have plans to finish off the sticky popcorn with DQ and TheMan has yet to test the equipment (I keep offering, but he keeps blushing. Heh) and that’s all. I might even talk about something non Smithee related when next I update.


Last year at the booniverse: The puppet didn’t get done (shifted to tonight) but we have 297 working pens out of a pool of 347.

Last last year at the booniverse: OK then, it’s Monday so it must be the weekend recap and here it is: Editing. Now y’all can go home and relax.

The year before at the booniverse: Demonic popcorn blew up the entry.

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