Smithee Aftermath ‘06

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This is what the evening totally felt like!

Alas, the 2006 A2 Smithees are gone and done…now just a memory in the past, fading bit by bit as I type (or perhaps that’s the aftereffects of the Long Island Ice teas). It’s always kind of sad when The Big Show is over and there is really nothing left to do after all the hustle and bustle of putting it on is gone. We still have the Origins show to go in late June, but that show is an entirely different beast from the A2 show. For one, Origins draws a bigger crowd (Last year’s high was an all time record at 324) but it’s pretty much a crowd made up entirely of convention attendees. The A2 show has no such conventional obligations so the audience is a much different mix. And the A2 show has Unhealthy Snacks and Drinks of Color not found in Nature; we can’t serve food at the Origins show. On the whole, I like the feel of the A2 show more than the Origins show so to me, the A2 show is THE show. And now it’s done.

However, there are some things I’d gladly let quietly crawl off into the oblivion of time if they would only get a shove off in that direction. Every show has its “moments” and this year’s “moments” started early. Mind you, the show went off like a dream but the facilities? Yeah. We need to dwell a little on that.

You know how sometimes when you thinking of somebody, you see them as they were at some point way back in time? Maybe it’s from 10 years ago, or 15 years or more but in your mind it’s eternally the summer of your junior year and there they are permanently 16 and the epitome of cool. Then one day you run into them only to discover that they dropped out of school, are still living at home in their parent’s basement and have a rap sheet longer than their skinny, drug scarred arm and you think, “Dayum! That’s incongruous”.

If that somebody were a place, they’d totally be 1800 Chem building, except add a hideous case of Meth mouth and a touch leprosy into the mix. Dayyyyyum! I had class in that auditorium when the new addition was first opened and it was one of the snazzier places on campus. Hell, I was at the Smithees last year and the place wasn’t showing its age like it did yesterday evening. Several chairs were ripped off their swivel mountings and left to block the aisles, a couple of the step guards were duct taped in place and the garbage that littered the tables, chairs and floor was eye popping. Had you told me that I was at a top rated university when I was standing and surveying the mess I would have laughed in your face. Don’t even get me started on the festering putrescence that was the bathroom. I’ve seen cleaner johns at poorly minded truck stops. Yuck.

However, the show must go on, as they say, so I and a couple of early volunteers at least wiped down the tables and did a hurried bottle/can/large junk sweep of the place before the crowd arrived.

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The crowds didn’t seem to mind the clutter and general disrepair of the room. By the way, we topped our all time high this year: 176 souls. With the rate of the room decay and the steady increase in patronage, I suspect in about 5 years we will have reached max capacity…which ought to be about 225ish out of the original 300 room occupancy.

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That’s including the 25 chairs we block off for the food and other nefarious Official Smithee business. Fear the Smithee food! Again, and much to my astonishment, people continued to bring stuff to share with everybody. We even had a care package mailed out to us from New Orleans. Heh. Dill gator taters and crawdad flavored chips.

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The table of drinkage woe. As threatened, we offered the Jones Soda Thanksgiving pack of popage and…well…not even the cranberry relish soda was good. There are some things that were not meant to be carbonated, broccoli cheese casserole being chief among them.

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But we did offer pop rocks in a classy little grinder. Would you like some pop rocks with that? (This is Badmovie’s shout out picture. Look! Someone actually used the grinder!)

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Here’s DQ modeling this year’s “sock” puppet. We discovered that the aliens could do a rockin’ gangsta pose as well as a frighteningly accurate Munsch’s scream pose. We had entirely too much fun with the puppets this year.

Technically, the show was a dream. It went smoothly with one slight human error of misannouncing a clip that was being shown but hey. It beats either year of technology woe (A2 ’04 and Origins ’05). Both LunarGeography and I discovered the wisdom of making sure your shoes are comfortable before setting out to ballot collect…well after we were in media ballot-collecting res. Ergo, both of us and our feet really started to look forward to the after show break down and traditional Pizza House convergance.

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Oh look, there we all are. Pizza House: The official Smithee after show (or editing) restaurant. They have kick ass Long Islands. I’m just saying.

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Dear god, the Jones Sodas!


Last year at the booniverse: JSFR: Meiji Polte Creamy Malon

Last last year at the booniverse: And the second was the Zombie campaign slogan: Plork, the other gray meat.

The year before at the booniverse: Don’t push me too hard, my head may just snap off and roll under the desk. Then how am I going to find it? I�d yell directions to my hands but my head has the ears. Ah well.

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